I earn more than boyfriend, how to split expenses if we move in?

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Hello everyone! My boyfriend of a year and I have been talking about the possibility of moving in together sometime in the Summer. We are both good earners but I earn a little bit more than him, so I am wondering how we should split expenses. We both are 35, have no plans for marriage and for the moment we will be renting in London. No plans to merge finances either.

We both work full-time in senior jobs and earn well, but he earns approximately 40% less than me. We both have plenty of savings/ investments and can comfortably afford to pay bills and then have some disposable income left.

Would it be unfair to go 50/50? Shall I offer to pay a little more given the income disparity? He says he is happy to go 50/50 but I don't want to be unfair and I am not sure how to navigate the situation to set us up well for our future together.

Thanks for your advice :)

No please. Don’t be silly. 50/50 it is

You are not getting married, etc. 50/50 is perfectly fair - not like he is struggling and can’t afford rent/bills.

At this stage I'd do 50/50. You might want to treat him to the odd meal out/bottle of wine etc but it doesn't sound like either of you are struggling and there's no reason he shouldn't pay his way.

If not married and no children 50/50

If it is a genuine relationship/love then it is indeed, 50/50 all day long!

Proportionate to your income is the fairest option. So if you earned £60k and he earned £40k, you would contribute 60% to joint hills and he would contribute 40%. Any money left would be personal spending.

Until/unless you marry I'd say put the difference between your salaries into your pension pot and then split all bills 50/50.

I’d do proportional to earnings.

50/50 which is he sounds perfectly happy with.

That way if his or your earning power increases in time you don't need to mess about adjusting %.

If you feel like you want to put in extra just buy the odd extra takeaway or shopping.

I wld 50/50 and if you see this going somewhere put some in a fund to cover when you are on mat leave etc, with your level of income being off work for kids will hurt you more as a family than if he was and this would be a way to blance that a bit.

FOr now b4 any marriage etc 50 50 sounds fine

50:50. It gives him an incentive to earn more going forwards knowing everything is split in half.

I would go 50/50 at this stage but you could always pay for more fun things, so bigger portion of holidays or meals out etc. Don't pay it all and I wouldn't get into a pattern where you always pay so it becomes expected though.

I'm inclined to say 50/50, BUT on the condition that the one with the lowest income gets to decide the budget. You're not married and have no children, so it wouldn't make sense for you to pay for your boyfriend. However, if he wants to live in a less expensive place, be more frugal with utilities and spend less on things like eating out, holidays, activities, gifts etc, that should be fine.
If you want a bigger or fancier place with a lifestyle that fits better with your income, you should be the one to cover the difference.

If ever I see posts where a couple pay 50/50 and the man earns more everyone says it's financial abuse and they should contribute in proportion to their earnings.
Anyway, Mumsnet double standards aside, if he's happy to pay 50/50 then maybe start with that and see how it goes. I agree you should revisit if marriage and kids come along later.

50/50 but you both pay into savings accounts according to what you have left over at the end of the month. Then if and when you decide to marry or buy together you use the savings as a deposit. If you split you each keep your individual savings

Just to add context, not sure about children yet but marriage definitely not on the cards. He knows marriage is not for me and he is okay with that.

50/50 is only ok if it’s not going to leave him short every month. I’d go proportional to earnings to be honest.

I'd go proportional to earnings. So about a 37.5/62.5 split.

Unless you share all your finances, split the bills 50/50. You are independent financial bodies.

As a compromise, you could pick somewhere that suits his budget? That would allow him to pay the same amount as 40% would amount to elsewhere, but you're both paying that rate?

It would definitely not leave him short. He earns well and he is currently saving a lot every month even though he lives alone and pays a full rent by himself. He would have more disposable income/ savings than now if we lived together (same goes for me of course!).

I like the idea of using his budget as a reference to pick where to live, it seems fair :)

Proportional to earnings.

If the OP was earning a great deal more and her partner was struggling financially then I wouldn't suggest 50/50. However, she says she only earns a bit more and her partner can afford the bills.

If you do ho 50 50 then I would definitely up the amount you are saving for future expenses if you ever have maternity breaks etc

We've been together 18 years and I still psy 5/8s! It feels fair as I bring in 5/8s of our joint income.