I earn more than boyfriend, how to split expenses if we move in?

[NCedbecauseofprivacy]

Hello everyone! My boyfriend of a year and I have been talking about the possibility of moving in together sometime in the Summer. We are both good earners but I earn a little bit more than him, so I am wondering how we should split expenses. We both are 35, have no plans for marriage and for the moment we will be renting in London. No plans to merge finances either.

We both work full-time in senior jobs and earn well, but he earns approximately 40% less than me. We both have plenty of savings/ investments and can comfortably afford to pay bills and then have some disposable income left.

Would it be unfair to go 50/50? Shall I offer to pay a little more given the income disparity? He says he is happy to go 50/50 but I don't want to be unfair and I am not sure how to navigate the situation to set us up well for our future together.

Thanks for your advice :)

I’d go by proportion. That way if he is earning more than you in the future, say if you’re on maternity leave for example, the proportion precedence is already there

Proportional to income. Always the advice I see too when other way around

really hate the double standards of the people saying it should be 50/50. if this was the other way round, every single person would have said it should be split in proportion of income.

although OP I wouldn't be so hasty to dismiss marriage. you should read some of the threads by mumsnetters who have split up after being in a relationship of many years and raised kids. left penniless due to not being married.

Our wage gap has narrowed now and there's not much difference but we've always been 50/50. We put our money in a joint account now.

When I earned a lot more than him and we were kid free with money to spare and separate accounts, id pay for dinners out, takeaways, drinks etc.

I think proportional to income as well. Not sure why it's considered fair to be 50/50 when we all know if it were the other way round people wouldn't be advocating for that split!

I'd do 50:50. If you are married or with kids so money is 'family' money, I think a proportion is fairest as you are a 'unit'. At the moment though, having been dating for a year, with no shared children or legal responsibilities, I'd do 50:50.

He is your boyfriend so 50:50 for bills.

If you were married I'd say both keep the same amount of personal money and put different amounts to a joint account to cover bills.

If you were unmarried with kids I'd say get married. Why don't you want to get married?

Also, if he earns 40 % less than you then you earn 66 % more than him which is not 'a little bit more'.

50/50 on rent and bills, and rent somewhere he can afford 50%.

50/50, no question. You earning more is irrelevant.

Whatever you decide, you should go get a joint account, use one of those online banks as they are very easy. Both pay enough into it each month for bills, rent and some fun spends. Both spend freely from this and keep what's left to yourselves in your own accounts.

That way you'll never have any rows about whose is whose, who has paid what and you can always adjust what you put into it as you like or as things evolve.

I’d say go proportional to salary ….

I think it’s fairer to set ground rules now as you seem committed to the relationship.

It shouldn't matter who earns what 50/50 it what it should be

Proportional to income is fair.

Yep, I think this too.

Don't have children without being married, unless he would be the one taking the career breaks etc.

I think proportional would be fair and also set you up better for the future- if one of you gets a new higher paying job the proportions change, if one of you is out of work the proportions also change. The commitment to living together as a couple is more than flatmates.

You don’t earn a bit more than him, you earn a lot more than him. Certainly if this was the other way around nobody would be saying 50:50. 🙄

Agreed also 40% less is not a 'little less' it's almost half.
Why do you NOT want to do proportional?

There are plenty of threads not involving children (or children belonging to the partner) and the advice is always the same - proportional!

I have never merged finances with partners I’ve lived with or either ex husband. I have always had a household bill total then divided that up proportionate to income plus 10% each to cover incidentals. Then each person’s money left over is theirs to do as they please with.

If you can both comfortably afford it then go for 50/50 but maybe you could get a separate savings account for emergencies/holidays/investing for your future and pay roughly 10% of the household costs into it so it's still there if it's needed for any reason.

Exactly this, double standards rule supreme! OP should pay a higher proportion.

It's a new relationship and you've not lived together before, so yes, it should be 50/50. You then both choose somewhere that it affordable for the lower earner.

Sit and re-assess each year.

We did a percentage based on take home pay. After about 5 years we combined finances.

50:50 is not fair. It should be proportional to income