I earn more than boyfriend, how to split expenses if we move in?

[NCedbecauseofprivacy]

Hello everyone! My boyfriend of a year and I have been talking about the possibility of moving in together sometime in the Summer. We are both good earners but I earn a little bit more than him, so I am wondering how we should split expenses. We both are 35, have no plans for marriage and for the moment we will be renting in London. No plans to merge finances either.

We both work full-time in senior jobs and earn well, but he earns approximately 40% less than me. We both have plenty of savings/ investments and can comfortably afford to pay bills and then have some disposable income left.

Would it be unfair to go 50/50? Shall I offer to pay a little more given the income disparity? He says he is happy to go 50/50 but I don't want to be unfair and I am not sure how to navigate the situation to set us up well for our future together.

Thanks for your advice :)

I'd do it proportional to income.

If it was the guy earning 40% more, how would you split expenses...bet none of you would say 50/50.....

I’d do it proportional to earnings.

Highly doubt if it was a man posting this you wouldn't be saying it about a woman.

OP, I'd do it proportionate to your earnings.

Household bills split 50/50. You both use equal amounts of electricity etc

She said she earns 40% more than him which is quite a big difference. However, if they're both happy with 50/50 they can crack on.

At this stage it should be 50 50 I think

If you got engaged , married, had children or even just still together in 3 years time I would reconsider and think proportional to income or equal amount of spare cash after bills would be appropriate but not at this stage

Looking at the first post, she says she earns a little bit more than him and then says he earns 40% less so the difference isn't clear. If it's the former then I think 50/50 is fine but if she's earning substantially more then I'd go for proportional to earnings.

For clarity, the difference in monthly income after tax is around £1000.

Of course not, but this is MN - what else would you expect?
It's all fine and well if it favours the woman, but a man is a controlling evil tyrant if it's the other way around.

OP could also be a man. You’ve just presumed OP is a she and in a heterosexual couple presumably.

We've always done roughly proportional, with sometimes DP taking a career break (for education or for a recovery period) and sometimes me doing that. If you know it'll always be proportional no matter whether it's 50:50 or 100:0 you both know exactly where you are and by the sounds of it you're both earning plenty plenty so it won't be an issue.

I always earned less than my other half but I always insisted on being 50/50 in everything it's only fair .

It really isn't fair.

This is fairest and pretty much universally recommended when the man is the higher earner. It’s not totally surprising to see more of the 50:50 posters for your situation as you’re the higher earning woman though.

50/50

You arent married and it isn't up to you to make life fairer for him and subsidise his spending money

If he wants to earn more to have the same spending money then that's up to him to do go out and do

She earns 40% more

No, he earns 40% less. Like 100k vs 60k. Not 84k vs 60k.

If he earns 40% less than her then she earns 67% more than him. It's a huge difference.

Just bear in mind that if you can afford easily to pay 1k a month for your half of the rent then it might not come as easy to him. You don’t want to create a scenario where he says yes but then is feeling the pinch.

Ask what he can afford per month all in and base your property search on that figure plus your half.

@Kalevala

i cannot get my head around your working out 😂😂

When my partner and me moved in together we shared costs 50:50 even though he earn a lot more than me. It only seemed fair.
This only changed once we had children. Then I contributed nothing to household bills during maternity leave and then less according to my reduc3 income as I am now part time

Start with OP 100k. 40% is 40k, so 40% less is 60k.
Start with partner 60k, 40% is 24k, so 40% more is 84k.

I wouldn't call that "a little bit more". However, maybe it is to you both, in which case 50/50 would be OK provided your partner agrees, can easily afford it and isn't likely to take a future financial hit if you have children.

I think the bias towards women on MN tends to be because at the point of having children, it's usually the woman whose earnings and career are compromised so it's seen as unfair for a lower earning woman to pay 50% of bills while her higher earning partner builds up his savings.

Definitely 50:50. Never underestimate the fragility of a male ego.