Well now my self esteem is in tatters

[Beepbeep18]

Few dates in with a man. On Thursday evening mid way through sex he says he ‘just doesnt find me that physically attractive’. Stopped and asked why he’d pursued dates before listing all the reasons I was a great catch and throwing him out of my house. Is this not just awful to say when vulnerable and also how do I now piece together my self esteem again lol

That’s awful. Who does he think he is?

he messaged a long and grovelling apology about how it wasn’t what he meant. Can’t see how you could mean anything other right? I’m not over reacting here - that’s awful isn’t it?

OMG, I want to give you a hug.

How does that conversation even happen at such a time? He’s a disgusting animal.

'Not what he meant' 😅yeah, OK mate, when you said 'I just don't find you physically attractive' what was the subtext that you DID mean and I was supposed to pick up on?

I have a handy phrase, OP. 'I don't know what you meant. I DO know what you said' (or did, according to context).

Stopped and asked why he’d pursued dates before listing all the reasons I was a great catch and throwing him out of my house

Your self-esteem sounds fine to me.

How horrible

is just cut him off totally and there is NOT one thing he can say to make this better

remember all the times you have seen sexually desired and don’t let one rando make you feel shitty (I know it stings )

Reply back “to be honest you wasn’t really doing it for me either but I was being polite”

He sounds like a prick of the first order.

He is in the wrong here Op.
beauty starts from
Inside and he clearly has none!

He couldn't get it up so decided to blame you

You're well rid of him

Awful, awful man. Bin him and don’t look back.

Fucking Hell, what an absolute prick.

He is a woman hater. Takes pleasure in hurting women. Nothing wrong with you. Block him. Normal men don't behave like this.

He's playing games, negging you. He wouldn't have started sex with you if he hadn't been physically attracted to you. He probably thought this would make you desperate to please him 🙄

no all going well, he’s specifically asked to come back to mine after a date earlier in the week. Long email and explainer said he meant he couldn’t say “you are attractive” because he struggles to articulate feelings. Maybe get better at that before sticking your dick in someone then x

I feel rancid

OP you handled that like an absolute boss.
What an utter prick- don't give him another thought.

mid way through sex he says he ‘just doesnt find me that physically attractive’.
What the hell was he hoping to achieve from that?? Even if he was negging surely there's a time and a place for it to be successful?!?

The fact you stopped instead of letting him finish shows you have plenty of self esteem OP. What a truly awful man.

This says a lot more about him rather than you.

you don’t need to fancy or connect with every person you date and not every person has to fancy or connect with you and that’s ok but it’s about how we word and express that.

he may have issues with ED and his knee jerk reaction out of embarrassment or insecurity was to say it was you who was the issue.

either way you deserve better and this is no reflection on you.

I'll bet my house he's done this to countless women. The ultimate negging. He gets off on it. This has nothing to do with you, it's all him.

Women often mock men's bodies too. Some people are just not nice.