Well now my self esteem is in tatters

[Beepbeep18]

Few dates in with a man. On Thursday evening mid way through sex he says he ‘just doesnt find me that physically attractive’. Stopped and asked why he’d pursued dates before listing all the reasons I was a great catch and throwing him out of my house. Is this not just awful to say when vulnerable and also how do I now piece together my self esteem again lol

OP I'm so sorry this is fucking disgusting behaviour from him. I wonder like pp's if it was negging to get you to do what he wanted both sexual and non.

I Al wonder if he was struggling to perform and didn't want you to notice so did this? Regardless of the reasons he's just awful and I really don't think you should let it be about you. I know that's easy for me to say. But honestly it's really not about you.

Not to put too finer point on it but he was performing fine and we’ve had sex before (seeing each other for about six weeks)

So did he just blurt it out of nowhere??

Really weird! What a loser

Op I want to give you a hug. Not quite the same thing but 2 years ago I was a dating a man who’s wife had passed 6 years previously. We had sex, all over me like a rash. Not 10 minutes after sex got up ( I was still naked) said he was still in love with his wife and left, I was absolutely devastated and felt humiliated. Block him and don’t give him another minute of your time x

He is the unattractive one here believe me!

Absolutely vile behaviour.

I'm sure you are fine as you are op. Please don't let this negging twunt make you feel less than you deserve. The pig.

Similar happened to my friend. Met a guy who was separated. Immediately after the first time she had sex with him, he burst into tears told her that sleeping with her made him realise he wants his wife back - and then texted the next day to say he shouldn’t have said that, could they meet again - errrrr no

What?! Why would you do that? He sounds like a bloody psychopath. Total lack of empathy or any kind of emotional intelligence. He was probably just getting off on humiliating you.

Be grateful that you got away OP

This is a perfect way of looking at it. Definitely. Horrible.

This.

Many years ago a lass went viral sharing a extremely cold, cruel and condescending message why her OLD date wasn't wanting to continue seeing her.

It was pointed out by millions of people he was just a putrid little man who got kicks from ruining the confidence of women.

I hope a massive snake crawls up the toilet and bites his arse leaving his with a gangeneous arsehole. To match his winning personality.

Sounds like a failed attempt at negging, which is awful enough behaviour from men these days.

You handled it well. Please don't give him another thought.

It's not the same thing at all but years ago I met a bloke in a pub,he was with his mates,me with mine

Waited a while before having sex

Finally got down to it,he came (I didnt-he didn't know how to pleasure a woman) and as he pulled out,he announced he'd only pulled and had sex with me for a dare with his mates

Something called 'pull a pig' he said-it seems to involve shagging the ugliest woman you can find and bragging about it to his mates and laughing about how desperate the woman was for him

I slung him out-him laughing-it destroyed me

(from what I can gather,he bragged about it in the same pub and was destroyed by the people in there,which he didn't take very well)

I didn't have sex for about 3 years after that-I refused to go out or have fun with my mates-I felt too ugly to have a life

I'm now with a man who thinks I'm a godess-we have a very active sex life and adore each other

Some men hate woman as they know they are punching above their weight with any woman-it really isn't you,it's him

You reacted really well,he's fuck all and i'll bet my life he couldn't stay hard (may be due to having a tiny willy that he has to big up in his head) so blamed you as it couldn't possibly be him

It's him that should be ashamed not you

Your gorgeous,intelligent and worth more than some dickhead like that

I too was thinking ED until OP said he was performing fine.

So he was hard thus aroused by you OP. He's just a complete weirdo then. Do not give him a second thought.

Thanks for all the extremely kind replies. Honestly madness. Also the acting like I was salivating over him whilst he looks down upon me - I was just saying nice normal things to this guy! Also HE CAME ON TO ME AND KEPT ASKING ME ON DATES. I do think I might have also said “thanks for dashing my fragile self wsteem” which I’m worried makes me seem insane but also ?

Oh OP, what an idiot that guy is.
After his mid-sex blunder and 'I think you find me more attractive than I find you' I'd just think 'don't worry, not anymore'.
Probably just think. Because we're not arseholes like that.
What I'd say is 'fair enough, there's no point in us seeing each other then'.

You handled it well, OP. Bin it off and think of it no more. Let him find someone more exactly his type and hope that his personality won't let him down.

I truly cannot fathom what goes through a man's head to say something like that at any time. But mid way through sex???? He's having a laugh. Don't even spare it a thought, and for your esteem and future lack of regret never speak to him again and block block block. That's outrageous.. what a prick!!

That is a despicable thing to do and I cannot imagine for the life of me why on earth he thought it was ok? But, that is on him, not you. There are unfortunately some utter tossers around. Many years ago, I was ditched by a boyfriend of 6 months literally 20 seconds after we’d finished having sex. It was hideous. Many years later he was jilted at the alter. I wasn’t sorry.

This, please don't think it's you, it's most definitely him 💐

Oh and don't worry about what you said. You didn't get personal, just had a normal human moment. You may have even done him a favour (and those after you) by making him realize there's time and place for saying things like that, if at all..

Op the only thing wrong with you was believing this charming bucket of vile was a decent bloke.

You chucked him out. Best action. Well done.

Men love to try and make us feel lower and grateful for their attention because THEY are insecure!
I've had comments about my stomach, acne, weight, fat public area etc
Got rid of them quick.
They ALL chased me after, still keep trying to be in touch years later
Because they did find me very attractive, just wanted to bring me down a peg or two

Get rid of this repulsive slug and know your worth!

Where are you based, OP? This sounds like a man I know.

Oh my god, what an absolute fucking bastard of an excuse for a man. I can’t fathom what makes these scumbags think the behaviour is ok? I’m so glad you’ve found a good man who adores you :)

I wouldn't give any more mental energy trying to work out this guy. He's a twat pure and simple who's trying, unsuccessfully, to get back in your good graces and your bed. Lose his details and wipe him off your socials. 🌹

Of course he found you attractive op, you were already intimate!
He has a porn habit and suffered from erectile dysfunction, and was so embarrassed he blamed you! It’s obvious, hence the grovelling apology.

Give it no more thought op. It’s not you, it really is him.

Block and delete. Block and delete. Block and delete......