Finance wants me to sleep with another man

[Melly1991]

Title says it all really. Could do with some advice on this. It’s been going on for years. He has never been able to drop it.

I honestly am in two minds. He has said try it and see if we like it, and we can do it again. If not we never have to do it again. Why should I sacrifice something like this for him? He even mentioned introducing another couple a few times, that’s one thing I could never see him with another woman. I’ve said this a few times but he still mentions it sometimes but he has agreed for me to be with a man first and he is desperate to watch in the same room.

I don’t know whether I should go through with this unless I am 100%? Should he not be worshiping my body for himself and not someone else? We have been together 13 years but our sex life has honestly been amazing, I’ve never had any concerns. We are getting married early next year.

It’s to a point he won’t stop asking me, he won’t ask me to my face and he gets awkward when we talk about it directly but he will talk about it over text (not phone call). He will text me when I’m downstairs and he’s upstairs in bed waiting for me. He will also text me when he’s at work to see my response.

I honestly don’t know what to do. I wish he would drop it but he won’t and to be honest I’m concerned now we don’t have the same sex drive anymore/ want the same things?

Sorry didn't re read before clicked post, hopefully makes sense

Ugh. No. I would call off the wedding. How dare he?

@Nousernamesleftatall am I wrong for causing confusion because I said I wasn't 100% off the idea? But if I'm not 100% surely that's enough?

Tell him to piss off

Blimey, I read it that the head of Finance wanted you to do this...

End this relationship, you don’t want to do it. He won’t shut up about it.

That turns my stomach, quite frankly. It clearly isn’t interesting you, so you need to either end this relationship or tell him to shop it now.

If you must stay with him, tell him that the next time he texts you about it you will smash his phone to pieces.

Bills don't pay themselves, yanno!

You don’t want to.
He won’t drop it.
Run away.

@FuzzyManul I wish it was... and not my fiancé!

Don’t do it.

You don’t want to do it. You’d know if you wanted to.

If he had any respect for you he’d not be remotely pushing this when you’ve shown clearly that you’re not into it.

Can you just tell him straight that you're not into it and could he please not bring it up? It's great to hear you've enjoyed a lovely sex life together - hopefully there is something else another fantasy either of you have that you could discuss instead? As you know communication is key, you shouldn't have to keep putting up with him asking.

And it's fine if you said you weren't 100% opposed to the idea, it's great to be open minded. But you can ask him to leave it now (and in the future if you do want to discuss you could bring it up but I wouldn't mention that to him)

I wouldn't marry a bloke who kept wanting me to have sex with someone else.

If you both consent to opening up your relationship I don’t see anything wrong with it, but it sounds like the only reason you are considering it would be to appease DP?

He probably thinks if you sleep with another man he can use that to harrass you into letting him sleep with another woman.

Asking for something once and taking no for an answer isn't a big deal, you saying no and him continuing to go on and on and on is a HUGE deal.

I would walk away from this unless you want the rest of your life to look like this.

Sadly @Wolfiefan has nailed it.
This is a strong fantasy for him given he's brought it up repeatedly. He can't just put a lid on it now and pretend he doesn't want that given he really really does.
You can't and should not consider doing something that sexually you are.not.comfortable with.
This seems a deal breaker for your relationship I'm sorry

Why are you allowing someone to coerce you into being raped? Does he like the idea of you being sexually assaulted? Why would you be with someone that thinks so little of you?

What an awful wanker. I’m afraid I’d definitely end the relationship over this. Urgh

I have no experience in this area, but two things jumped out of your message for me;

1. you don’t want to do this and that should be the end of the conversation
2. Regardless of my first point, he can’t even talk to you about such a (potentially) life changing experience to your face? Surely something like this has to start with a serious face to face conversation before anything else. You don’t agree to bring another sexual partner into a relationship via text!!!

he’s obviously angling for a meet with another woman and he’s not as happy about your sex life as you are

@Pondering89 you've just said it.

Tell him to fuck off! Honestly, putting pressure on you like this is unforgivable. And definitely DO NOT DO IT.

I have a question but please don’t take it the wrong way .., is he as happy with your sex life as you are? I am like you … I would never let my DP have sex with another woman! I would be too jealous and I am not ashamed to say it !

I haven't actually sat him down and said NO. Tonight we will be having that convo and I'll see the outcome.

@Secondstart1001 I'm also too jealous, he knows I am the jealous type. Just fortunately for me he isn't the jealous type clearly, at all..?