Dating thread 245

[SamW98]

Continued from 244….

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Thank you for the new thread! @friendswiththemonstera I'm not in the UK so things might be different but Hinge is the least active for me, one or two matches per week, Bumble far more. Hinge also seems to have men who are more serious about finding a relationship, and so far none I've encountered have been married. But yes, slim pickings.

Thanks all for the replies. I'm getting an OK number of likes then - it slowed down so much that I wasn't sure if I was doing something wrong but sounds like Hinge is just slow after the first two days flurry. I haven't listed that I have kids but I am probably going to take a long pause for a few months as I'm not looking for an actual relationship right now. Maybe Tinder would be better at the moment.

Is "sigma" another coded word? Placemarking the thread!

Placemarking thread!

(But nothing to report 😂)

Placemarking thread, thanks @SamW98

@SamW98 I was the same with Hinge, like tumbleweed. Everyone is/was super active and had pics surfing/snowboarding and on various mountains. I'm the total opposite and like my movies, walks etc plus I'm working full time. I just felt like perhaps I was too boring.

My colleague met her husband on Hinge (met/married within 8 months of meeting). She's very young and active and they have no kids.

@Loopylooni @SamW98 I think in Hinge it's also possible to filter out by how active they are?

I personally want someone active, but I'm surprised how many seem to be into watersports.

following

Following

Defo need to follow this... need some general advise on dating.. am seriously thinking about becoming asexual ( If I could manage to convince myself 😁)

@Loopylooni

Im definitely not boring but I’m never going to be compatible with someone who loves outdoor activities every weekends and whose ideal holiday is in the ski slopes.

Most of my social life has always been around music events and my perfect holiday is laying on a sunlounger for 10 hours followed by cocktails.

The chances of me ever going kayaking is on par with finding a rainbow unicorn holding a winning lottery ticket on my garden 🤣

SamW98 It's like there's no in-between! They either want to be out doing some wild, active hobby 23 hours a day, or they do 'Nothing'.

I was chatting to one last night. He said
'I get so bored in the evenings'
I said 'Oh I love an evening in by myself'
He says 'Really?'
I say 'Yes. I've got lots of things that I like doing, reading, puzzles, colouring, music, movies. What do you like doing?'.
He says 'Nothing really. Just TV. I've been single 3 years so it's a long time'
I said 'I've been single 7 years. What sort of things do you watch?'
He says 'Nothing really'.
I give him one last chance & say 'So what do you like doing when you go out then?'
And get this. 'Nothing really. I stay home apart from grocery shopping to be honest'

So I just say 'Ok well I hope you have some luck on here'
He says 'I doubt it. I can't find anybody that I have anything in common with'

@NervesOfCotton

Oh I’ve had a few of the do nothing squad. Or the ones who say they don’t go out because all their friends are married and say ‘I could come out with you and your friends’ - errrr no thanks mate 🤣

SamW98
I know it's easy to get stuck in a rut when you are single, it just comes across so negatively when they are like that & I wonder what they thought they would have to talk about when they joined OLD!

For me I don’t expect them to share all my interests but I do expect them to have a life of some sort. I don’t want to be with someone who has nothing outside a relationship.

My ex and I always had our own interests and friends away from each other. Even now he’s into football and watching bands - that’s the sort of thing I think is pretty normal and healthy to do separately. I don’t want to be a support system for a man who has nothing else going on.

SamW98 I agree, sometimes they say something like 'I suppose you won't be interested if I tell you that I like football' & I'm 'No, I am! Thats great, at least you have something that interests you!'

Though I do draw the line at the one who suggested as a first date watching the West Ham game down the pub 🤣

SamW98 As if they'd suggest that! Too much effort. All they want to do for a first date is 'Netflix & Chill'

I did actually have that from an OLD bloke as a first date suggestion. I did respectfully suggest that although I am a WH girl I’d rather meet another day that they’re not on the big screen during our date

Hi all
Thanks for the new thread.
Hope everyone is getting on ok. I have a week off work next week (half term) so hoping to see the person I have been talking to/out with a couple of times then.
We still text lots and chat on the phone for hours but not seen each other since our date at the cinema (he lives over an hour away so it rules out meeting in the week and I was away last weekend, will be 2 weeks on Saturday since we saw each other)
Still getting on really well but starting to wonder if distance may end up being our downfall!

I have been reading this thread with interest and have decided to dip my toes into the murky waters of Bumble for some entertainment. Early 40s living in London.

I signed up over the weekend and have scheduled six dates for this and next week. Can totally agree with all comments so far - everyone in finance or tech I am meeting is off to the ski slopes or into water sports; the others (including one artist) are marathon runners. One was looking for a Valentine’s date and updated his profile this morning to say he is now looking for someone to join him on a skiing holiday next week- all seem to be like children in candy shops. Will report with any entertaining stories next week.

Wow @occhiazzurri 6 dates in the next couple of weeks is good going!
Can I ask how long you chat to them for before setting a time to meet?

@occhiazzurri

6 dates in a few days is very good going. I only managed that amount in 7 months of OLD

Carrying on from the previous thread re children - I’m really shocked by the amount of times people who put photos with their kids on their profile. And as an older woman (55) I will be honest and say anyone who own kids younger than about 14/15 I think old probably not date as my DS is now an adult and I’ve done my years of revolving my time around parenthood.

My mate just sent a screenshot in our group chat of a message she’s just had on FB dating. Copied and pasted so this is the actual message

oi oi darlin ur a proppa sexy little sort ain’t ya bell me up babe let’s get it on lol

Ermmmmmm - what do you all reckon? Date or no date 🤣🤣