Dating thread 245

[SamW98]

Continued from 244….

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Yeah, I totally agree!
He really was such a lovely person, but obviously I have no idea what he thinks about me 🙈
Im so used to being ghosted at this stage of being OLD, I almost expect it. I think I've got to the stage where I've mentally given up with it! Keeping everything crossed this continues into something lovely 🩷

@blacksocks33 so happy to hear about your lovely date! It sounds a really positive experience. Have you spoken since? Keeping my finger's crossed for you on this one xxx

@blacksocks33 fantastic update! It's hard to not be excited after a good date! And I know what you mean about automatically expecting awful behaviour from someone now! But I really hope that this goes well and I have everything crossed for you!

So I have a date tonight with local shop guy. He's a lovely bloke and I have loads in common with him. I'm not sure the physical attraction Is there though. I'm someone who prefers a mental/emotional connection though. So we shall see.

I did go back on the app yesterday 🙈 and for my efforts have got chatting to another guy. Now the physical attraction is definitely there with him. We've been messaging, he seems keen but cautious. Taking a while to reply back and he wants to phone before meeting. So we shall see with him too. Although he has kids EOW so don't think we'll be meeting for a fortnight!

Yes I am and is actually make me quite cynical and sad.
(BTW another one to beware of - so similar to previous poster😂) is T, 56,Twickenham, tall, handsome, impressive job, cute puppy he uses as a babe magnet (adorably tucked in his coat) -narcissist and player. Luckily I was able to help a friend swerve that one, after she was raving about him when she met him in a pub, but only because my antenna were twitching from what I’ve read here and on the FB site. If it looks too good to be true…

@blacksocks33 fingers crossed he asks to arrange another date!

@Pepsimaxedout oh wow! Two solid options! I think the guy you're messaging sounds great and mature! I think a phone conversation before meeting if a great shout! This is all really positive!

@Pepsimaxedout sorry totally missed the part where you have a date tonight! Woohoo!

@VanillaSox is he on an app with a wife? How did you friend find out he was married and why do women put up with these dickheads!

Am going to the public records office today to try to find out about the history of my house -what should I wear to try to pull a history guy? 😂😂

May seem a bit out there, but a friend in her 50s me her now LTR - lovely guy-when she was a car wash! She was in a hurry and he let her go ahead of him -set the tone for what is a great relationship😁

@mumofoneanddone82 I'm being very cautious after going far too fast before but I am quietly optimistic about both.

@VanillaSox I love the idea of pulling a history guy too. Probably comes from my ridiculous crush on Indiana Jones. But unfortunately in my experience, history guys are more David Starkey than Harrison Ford 😫

😂😁😂😂

I’d settle for Greg Jenner if anyone knows him from the fab history Podcast ‘You’re Dead to me’ 😁😁

VanillaSox Sounds like a good plan to me Could also try hanging around the library!

I once had a HUGE crush on this man that I saw at this park across town from us, but I wasn't brave enough to just go up to him & start chatting! I saw him 3 times, he had a really deep (sexy) voice & one day, I was in the que at our local Tesco & bent down to pick up my kids toy, the que moved on so I turned & said 'Sorry' to the person behind... & it was him! He said 'Its no problem at all' in that voice

& the ending is, I turned into a giggling idiot, still wasn't brave enough to say anything, & never saw him again.

blacksocks33 lovely update! I hope you hear from him today

Looked up his address on the Land registry to see who owned it -cheap and highly recommended…

Had a quick Google and could totally swipe right on him. In his 40s with a full head of hair 😍

Or him… tho’ very much he’ll be hanging around on the Kew archives today -but if you read this Dan -I’ll be the gorgeous old lady poking through the 1891 census 😁😁

Has anyone else encountered men on online dating who suggest going for a walk as a date? What do you make of it? I personally do not like it. It’s like they are they me out for free.

@Rainynight09 I suppose it depends on what you prefer for a first date really. If you are someone who likes a lot of effort on a first date, I can totally appreciate it comes across as a bit cheap and lack of effort.

I'm not a huge fan of a big first date though. I feel its a lot of pressure and expectation, especially if it turns out you don't like the person that much. I do prefer casual drinks or coffee for a first date. A walk wouldn't put me off if it was somewhere that include stopping for coffee on the way if all went well.

Rainynight09 A walk is my first date of choice, sometimes meet at a coffee shop & get a takeaway coffee, or get a coffee during the date if it's going well.
I suppose there is an element of cost, if you are going on lots of first dates (I'm definitely not though)

Some on here call it 'Date zero', so you are just having a quick chat to get to know each other, & then you can have a 'proper' date for the Second.

If you don't want to do that though then suggest something else.

I had a bloke suggest walking his dogs as a first date which I declined.

Some seem to like waking dates but it’s not for me. Just a simple drink or coffee date works - sitting down and warm 😊

Also, you are all lucky if you are having men suggest a walk for a date. All I usually get offered is 'Dinner' or 'Come to mine for Netflix & Chill'.

My suggestion of a walk & coffee is often met with 'Nah that's not a proper date'.

In my case, they just wanted to go for a walk. Their refusal to go for one coffee really put me off.