Dating thread 245

[SamW98]

Continued from 244….

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I just told the Biker I can only see us as friends at this stage and he's gone quiet.

We will see. Went back on Bumble for now and have swiped left on 50+ men in a row 😂
Initially I pored over the photos and gave loads of guys the benefit of the doubt, thinking they don't know how to sell themselves and might not come through looking well in photos, most obviously can't take a good picture!

But now I think if I am not feeling it straight away, not to bother. I will run out of men on Bumble soon methinks!
Also my profile clearly says, have children, don't want more, I even added it into my main bio that I can't match with anyone wanting kids still.

There was a couple of profiles which made me laugh and were written like they were made for me, but the guys (one of them 56!) said "want children at some point in the future" , so I swiped left obviously and it said both times "you missed a potential match"🤔

I live in a smallish town, the other day recognised one guy on Bumble who I have seen socially and saw one more yesterday on the streets, he actually stared at me so wonder if he recognised me too (though if people can recognise me from my pictures it's encouraging 😁)
He was really good looking, that's why I remembered him, but I don't remember how I swiped on him, I think he was a little too young for me and might have been something in his profile(probably wanting kids again) which made me not swipe right...or if I did swipe right he wasn't a match anyway.

@RadiantRainbow

Ive seen a couple of blokes from Bumble in passing. One was a bit sleazy and I unmatched them my friend started chatting to him at a festival we were at. I asked how she knew him and she said she’d been on a few dates with him 🤣

Also my friend asked me to check if her ex boyfriend is on there, and if yes to take a screenshot, he didn't come up for ages, I told her he's not there.

Then he suddenly comes up and it says his age is 41 and he is in the photo with his pre-school child. Well I know he is 48. Why pretend you are so much younger when you aren't even old in the first place and then make yourself look old for your age, he either looks like a vibrant good looking 48 year old or been around the block 41😐
Friend is on holiday now for half term, not sending her the screenshot but will share when she is back.

While I was writing here the Biker just replied and said happy to stay friends!

@RadiantRainbow

My friends absolute twatty pisshead cheating ex was on there. He claimed to be 56 despite me being at his 60th in 2021!!

I saw him out last year and he asked why I didn’t swipe for him - seriously wtf?? Despite the fact he had already propositioned me years ago when I was seeing my ex (who he knows) and he’s sent sleazy messages to several other friends. Vile creep

One of my pet hates (reasonable or not) is men well into their 50s and beyond saying “want children one day”. Think it’s a tactic to make them potentially appealing to women in their 30s

Oh yes, that must be why they do it! As a 35 yo I got swiped on so much by men aged 50+ when I momentarily changed age to not being a dealbreaker. Yuk. Nothing wrong with men over 50 but I don't want to date someone 20 years older than me and I'm suspicious of men who are swiping on women that much younger than them. Unsurprisingly women have only swiped on me within a 10 year age range. Am seriously considering whether to switch to dating women only.

At 55 I’ve been messaged by men in their late 60 and 70’s. The oldest was 79 - same age as my mum.

It does seem there’s a lot of men on OLD chasing women a generation younger. I do wonder what they really think we’ll have in common

I’ve just had a text from the guy I went on a date with last night… I didn’t think I’d hear anything more from him seeing as he rejected me.

it said ‘hey, have a good Saturday’

I honestly don’t know what to think of this?! Should I respond? I just don’t want this to turn into a headfuck

Edited to add - I should delete his number shouldn’t I? He rejected me so it’s his loss.

I am mid 30s and I get guys who have swiped right on me in their 50s and above. There’s been quite a few of them actually. I did speak to one man when I started out on OLD and I think he was mid 50s, we had nothing in common and he came across quite creepy, almost as if he only wanted someone younger.

My age range filter is currently set at 30 - 45.

@JH20000 Yes yes I IMPLORE you to delete and block. Can safely say this will 100% be a headf@ck. Save your dignity

@JH20000 I agree with what @RosieAway said. You'd feel like you've got your own back, do it!
We get what we settle for...

Whhaaatttt does this even mean 🙈
I think I'd be inclined to reply to find out but this so probably why I'm in this position and have no luck with men! 😂💀

@JH20000

Must admit I’d be tempted to reply with 👍

But only because anyone replying with the thumb to me makes my shoulders hunch up to my ears - I hate it!

@RadiantRainbow I've made several friends on Bumble/Hinge. I do a couple of male-dominated sports so this helps in meeting men, but not THAT many new men -however I do think the apps are good for access to a whole pool of men that you wouldn't otherwise encounter. You find people with things in common so you have shared interests and things to talk about.

The number of men that lie about their age! There are lots of 49/47 year old men apparently - that are clearly not!! They want to get in under the 50 y.o. cut off. Silly, because it's instantly disappointing when you meet them in the flesh. My tactic of having fairly nondescript photos with my worst feature visible - but not in a tempting way - ie short muscly legs in hiking shorts and boots, means hopefully that expectations are going to be exceeded rather than not met!

One thing I keep finding is men with very unflattering glasses. Ones that make them look comical. Unintentionally though.

Me too, I hate that emoji 😅

First and he's already playing games FFS @JH20000 Usually on first date, people show their best side. If that is his best side, I shudder to think what's his worst.

Block him, you can't possibly tolerate this manipulative dross. He's already making you second-guess yourself.

He’s been blocked.

I have a coffee date tomorrow with a different man which was set up last week. He confirmed it tonight so fingers crossed it goes well.

I call that my fuck you emoji...hate it so much!!

I have a coffee date tomorrow with a man which we set up earlier in the week. He's been away since but should be back today. Surely one of us should check in all is still good, is it me as I asked him out (which he seemed quite pleased about). Why do I have to do all the heavy lifting 😆

Urgh I am finding this all really depressing! I thought maybe I was being too picky so hit like on a few this morning and have had zilch back. Been out with friends today and decided we need to try and create a singles event in real life for 40-55 year olds!

I would send a message along the lines of 'Hope you got back from your trip ok, look forward to meeting you tomorrow' and then see how he replies!

I’ve just had a message from the other guy I was supposed to meet for coffee today. He has just sent a text cancelling because he doesn’t want to date anyone at the moment. FFS!!

I think the problem is accessibility. A lot of people are using the apps solely for validation and that's why there are so many time wasters. Sorry that happened. It won't be anything to do with you.

Dating apps have definitely changed for the worst. Years ago I swear most people were up for meetings and rarely there were cancellations or silly excuses thrown around as to why they couldn’t meet.

I have found a lot of men just want a pen pal, someone to give them an ego boost. I do think they ‘panic’ when it comes to actually meeting and therefore it becomes more real and then they scarper. This is why I don’t wait more than a week/10 days to meet them.