Found you all! I've been on my date today, let's call him Mr Biker. He does do race biking, mountain biking and running 😂but not obsessively like the men mentioned on these threads and running only on his lunchbreaks, and not the sort of person to expect me to join him - actually has a gang of friends +community projects connected with that so has a life of his own going on apart from work and his teenage kids.
My first impression was a sense of relief, because in pics he came across a bit "kind uncle" but in real life turned out to be really really boyish and so fun and easy going, we giggled like primary school children throughout!
Chatted (more me than him though) non stop, never felt like I could be anything but just myself.
He paid for our coffees both time, we took coffee to go first, went on a walk and had another before he was heading back and his parking was running out(I walked up because were meeting in my town).
So parking was paid for 3 hours and I guess the date took maybe 2hr 50 min?
So really couldn't fault him HOWEVER the fact still stands that he felt very "old friend/best mate", and also he said to me that he went down a size in the last four months and what I was thinking was "you shouldn't have".
I am size 10-12 depending on a shop, and he if he was a woman would be size 6 down from his torso!
Turned out he didn't lose the weight on purpose, I think he was just coming to terms with the fact that even though he was separated from his wife and living in the same house for a couple of years it was actually the end (she found a boyfriend and informed him it was over - the search for another partner wasn't a surprise, she informed him she was looking over a year previously, but once she did find one I think he found it difficult and was worried about the children etc)
And I am absolutely not shallow writing anyone off due to looks or specific parts of their looks but this sort of feels primal and something I cannot control? Like I don't know if I could have sex with a man who I feel I could squash/break (though he is obviously strong and fit with the cycling/running but he just looked borderline painfully thin in places)
So I don't know what to do, sorry I cannot tag because I don't remember who said what from the other thread, but people have mentioned that physical attraction can grow. He is genuinely super-lovely. I only had the opposite experience, that male friends who I found vaguely attractive with time became so much like relatives that any idea of having sex with them would feel incestuous.