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Original poster

Aibu...Hotel night...

181 replies

milkonesugar35 · 13/01/2024 19:11

Xmas 2022 we were given a voucher for a hotel. This was given to us when at the time we had a 10 month old. Said voucher lasts until Xmas 2024 and said baby is now 23 months. I've never had a night away from him and have no intention of doing so for the foreseeable so if we use the voucher, ds comes too as far as my wishes are concerned.

For context, my parents are very hands on as they have ds 2 days a week whilst I work. They've not had him overnight and I'm not going to ask. No one else has ever looked after ds.

I've suggested we have a day trip where I would therefore feel comfortable going just the two of us. It's a monetary voucher so could be used for a meal there / use of the spa etc. Dh says he wants to stay. The nearest of the chain to us is approx a 75min drive.

Aibu? Other option is for dh to go with a mate I guess!

OP posts:
PeopleAreWeird · 13/01/2024 19:12

What are you actually asking?

Youve made up your mind

Gazelda · 13/01/2024 19:16

YANBU in telling your DH that you don't want to leave DS overnight.

YAB slightly U to be making a decision about this now, 11 months before the voucher expires. Much can happen in that time and there's no need to a) feel pressured or b) to dictate to your DH.

ItsTheDramaaMick · 13/01/2024 19:17

Maybe give the voucher back? Or just take your toddler

trying2bpositive · 13/01/2024 19:18

If you like your DH, I think you could grant him one night with you all to himself. If he's abusive or doesn't pull his weight then absolutely not.

Mammyloveswine · 13/01/2024 19:18

Eh? Your baby is almost 2 now?! Book a night away and enjoy some alone time with your husband!

Spirallingdownwards · 13/01/2024 19:20

Take the child with you and ask for a cot in the room?

Or bite the bullet and leave them overnight for the first time with the grandparents.

ItsTheDramaaMick · 13/01/2024 19:22

Mammyloveswine · 13/01/2024 19:18

Eh? Your baby is almost 2 now?! Book a night away and enjoy some alone time with your husband!

Actually I change my answer to this.

thishasnotmyweek · 13/01/2024 19:23

YABU he will be almost 3 the end of next year - it will be good for him to have a night away from you.

Original poster
milkonesugar35 · 13/01/2024 19:23

@Spirallingdownwards yes this is what I've also suggested

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 13/01/2024 19:25

Spirallingdownwards · 13/01/2024 19:20

Take the child with you and ask for a cot in the room?

Or bite the bullet and leave them overnight for the first time with the grandparents.

We just took them with us. See whether the hotel has baby listening facilities or babysitters and check refs.

We always got them very tired splashing in the pool before bed and they slept really well.

Alternatively, see what the rates are to book a room for your parents with a cot and ask if they would have him (you could take turns to have baby whilst the other couple has dinner) They might enjoy the change and it would free you two up without worry.

BayCityCoaster · 13/01/2024 19:25

I mean, do what you want.

But you have hands-on parents and the child will be nearly three by the time it expires….. 🤷🏻‍♀️

KinS24 · 13/01/2024 19:27

Seems like you will be miserable at the thought of being without your child and there little point in the palaver of taking a toddler overnight so either let DH have a night with a mate or just go for the day and rush back to your child.

countvoncount · 13/01/2024 19:27

Bloody go!!
It never fails to stun me that people are so entrenched they can't have a single night away with their other half!
Go!!
Have a meal in peace!!
Drink wine!!
Have noisy sex!!!

Original poster
milkonesugar35 · 13/01/2024 19:29

Agreed @DuckbilledSplatterPuff taking him along will make me feel most comfortable and I'm sure there'd be some things to entertain him too.

For those saying he's old enough o be left. He's 2 next months; hes still little. Yes lots of couples choose to leave their kids overnight from tinies and that's totally fine for them, but I'm not ready to yet.

OP posts:
allgrownupnow · 13/01/2024 19:32

But you might be ready come November... you don't have to decide now. They change a lot between 2 and 3

SamW98 · 13/01/2024 19:35

Take your DC with you, use the swimming pool and facilities to tire him out and then have a room service meal with champagne when he falls asleep if you really can’t bear to leave him for a night.

Don’t waste the voucher, make a family day

Starzinsky · 13/01/2024 19:36

I think it is very healthy in relationships to have a night away with your partner every now again. Seems like you have separation issues and I think for your childs and you partners sake at least give it a try.

Catsandcuddles · 13/01/2024 19:41

Your baby is nearly a toddler now and by Xmas 2024 the child will be nearly 3. The difference between a 2 and 3 year old is massive. It is healthy to have a night away for your and your partner, plus your child

What happens in the event of an emergency and your child had to stay over with grandparents, what would you do? Better to trial it out surely? You could arrange a night in a months where your child stays at his grandparents that he feels comfortable with a sees a lot? Then you can decide about the hotel and make the most of it, whether that be a family break in the end, or a night over just the two of you

You don't know what you are missing imo haha. One night away won't harm your son. I'd give it some thought, you may feel completely different in a few months time and feel ready for a break. Terrible twos and all that....

Munchyseeds2 · 13/01/2024 19:47

Do you trust your parents to look after him?

Assuming that you do, have the night away next summer - it will be fine

Original poster
milkonesugar35 · 13/01/2024 19:49

I know my parents would be brilliant with him overnight as he already spends so much time with them but I also know that I wouldn't relax being far away. I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself as I won't be able to switch off. That in turn would put me on edge and not fair on dh.

Fair play to those who can jet off on actual holidays without their toddlers!

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 13/01/2024 19:55

We had no family help and had some lovely weekends in the New Forest, with discount rates etc. By the time we compared it to cost of babysitters, taxis home and meals out, it really wasn't much more at the time and it was a great change of scene and a chance to spend some family time together playing with them in the day and a chance to have a nice dinner without worrying about taxis etc. The kids were worn out so it was worth it

But as you have reliable parents to help, maybe it's worth seeing how you feel nearer the time.

Bernadinetta · 13/01/2024 19:59

What would you not be able to relax about?
You either trust your parents or you don’t.

TwilightSkies · 13/01/2024 20:03

How are you going to cope when your child goes to school? It’s healthy to let them bond and enjoy time with other people.
You sound stubborn and a bit uptight tbh.
Kinda rude not to use the voucher!

OverTheGrip · 13/01/2024 20:04

@milkonesugar35

Why don’t you want to leave DS?
I find it really difficult to understand why you won’t go away for just one night.

Frasers · 13/01/2024 20:05

I never left mine either op, unless with my husband, just take your chikd with you and have a family night away, not sure I could be arsed driving all that way to come back.