How I feel about men in my 60's.

[Gettingbysomehow]

I don't feel I am half a person waiting for the other half to fulfill me. i am a whole person and don't need anyone else.
I've been married and divorced three times, all of my husbands drained me and marriage never sat easy on my shoulders, and this is why.
It's only taken me 60 years to realise this.
Anyone else feel the same?

Yes me. I'm approaching 60 and had one marriage and one long term relationship.

I really can't be bothered with men any more as I found when dating that most men were just looking for a "nurse with a purse"

It's odd but I honestly don't think men want an equal relationship with a woman. they seem to think that women are a resource for them to use.

I love being single though.

Not me ... but I had a similar conversation with my mum yesterday. She just turned 60. Has been married once, and has had a few live in partners since. But she has now been single for 6or so years and has said to me a couple of times how she just can't be bothered with men anymore at all. She has been treated badly by almost every man she has been with. So I don't blame either of you for feeling that way. I think it's wonderful that you realise you don't need a man to be whole.

I’m 55 and had a really good 23 year relationship with my son’s dad. We never married but lived together as equal partners from a few months in.
Our split was because we just grew in different directions as we got older. We’re still really amicable now

I had a rebound relationship for 2.5 years which in retrospect was a mistake but it happens.

Ive been single since the first lockdown 4 years ago and I absolutely love my peace and quiet. I tried OLD but no one floated my boat and I’ve come off for now. Even if I met someone, I’d want a pretty laid back arrangement as long as it was exclusive but no pressure to live in each others pockets or blend families. I certainly don’t want to cohabit ever again, I like my own space too much.

For me, friendships have been much more of a priority. I’ve concentrated on making great girl friends and making a good social life. I have plenty of nights out, weekends away and holidays - so I don’t feel my life is missing a man right now.

I'm 56 and have arrived at the same conclusion. After 3 long relationships (married x 2 and 1 x cohabiting ) I've finally achieved peace. I'm not sure a man would bring anything to my life now unless they were a bit handy around the house.

Cannot be arsed.

If it’s true that men tend to go for younger women, any man interested in me would probably be looking for a carer, or certainly have health issues. I’m not getting involved with anyone just to become their carer.

Also I like my own company, travelling by myself, doing what I want.

That’s the theme with my and my 50/60 something single friends. We are used to doing what we want when we want and it would take someone really special to want to change our lifestyles.

As we get older I definitely think men get more out of relationships than we do

63 here and reached the same conclusion. Married three times, kids all adults, and I regularly get 'hit on' by men despite my looking like a dehydrated Gollum. I just think 'seriously? You must be desperate, mate'.

I just cannot be bothered with the whole 'appealing to the male gaze' shit any more, and could not give less of a stuff about men in general. It's actually very freeing.

I've felt like this since my mid thirties.

Heavens yes. Divorced three times myself. Aged 60 now. Been feeling better alone since my late 40s!

I cannot for the life of me fathom why people bother with relationships. Except for raising children I guess.

61 here, one 30 year marriage and one 5 year relationship (ongoing).

I never liked being married but I think it was a good setting for bringing up my three DC. Now that's done, I won't marry again. I've paid off my mortgage and enjoy my independence.

My DP is 55, he's a love and really looks after me - tea in bed, nice suppers, great sex, and huge support through ongoing issues with my DC, and the illness and death of my DF last year. I would be fine without him, but he does add a warmth which I appreciate. I don't think it will last though, as he wants to move in and that is NOT what I want (he knows this). We trundle on, and I'm thankful for him, but in time I will be single again and that is fine.

Agree. If anything happened to dh I wouldn't bother with men at all, I have some lovely male friends I've known all my life so I know there are of course good ones out there, but I'd never date one again. I'd just get a couple more cats or something, cats are awesome.

Same here, married 3 times, now widow at 59.
cant imagine sharing my house with a man again; really enjoying the space and doing whatever whenever.
agree with a previous poster that men usually want a younger woman; therefore I’m suspicious of men interested in me that they’re looking for a carer as they get older.

I have a good friend of mine who's in her late 60s and she said the same. She had a look at dating, but the men her age wanted women in their 20-30s!!! She found it hilarious, as well as kind of gross. The ones who wanted a woman her age she said she reckoned it was just as you said, a nurse with a purse. No thanks.

As a youngish 55 - I still go to day raves, house music events etc - I was getting messages from men in 10/20 years older. One was actually 79 - a year younger than my dad.

I just thought ‘bless you for trying but come on’

That’s quite gross

I love having no man around. I'm as free as a bird.
I had a 20 yr happy marriage, husband died, and I've dated on and off past 10 yrs, but l would be very reluctant to go back to that way of life now.
I like this stage in my life of just looking after me. I'm not anti men and some of my friends are in happy, loving relationships, but this way of life really suits me.

I'm 60 & been very happily married for 20 years but if my husband died tomorrow I'd never want to date or live with another man. I love doing my own thing. And would also get at least 3 more cats.

I'm in my early 30s and feel exactly the same. An older woman told me that I must be getting to the age where men will be looking at/whistling at/chatting up my daughter rather than me, she said it like I would be jealous of my (child) daughter getting male attention. I told her I've never been happier or more comfortable than since I became invisible to men and it makes me incredibly sad and worried for my daughter who is getting to the age where she won't be.

“despite my looking like a dehydrated Gollum.”

😂

I describe it as having hit the 'sweet spot' in my life. My parents are gone, do don't require care, my children are adult and independent home owners. I'm fit and healthy and enjoy travel and doing things. So many men post 60 (actually post 40, if I'm being honest) just seem to want to sit and eat in front of the TV.

I'll stick to my dog from now on.

I honestly found in my OLD days that most men my age look far older and less well presented than the women.
There were very few men within 5 years either side that I would have looked twice at.

I agree men decline pretty fast as they get older. In general of course.

Even if they are the same age as their woman they end up looking like their dad going by facebook photos!

They would look better if they kept the weight off plus dyed their hair. Just my view. I still would not hanker after one though!

I feel like this and I'm in my late 40s, 1 husband down! (And several other boyfriends) Never again.

I surroubd myself with female friends and am much happier and peaceful for it.

Men are like drugs, they give you highs but ultimately take more than they give!

That's my (vast) experience at least.

I’m 64. Marriages 1 and 3 were draining, I am a whole person and couldn’t contemplate all that again.
I feel very positive about my life now and thoroughly enjoy the company of men, I just don’t want to be half of a couple. I date some lovely men, and they feel the same way.

I think there’s a lot to be said for being alone and doing as you please. Men (in my experience) are total letdowns