How I feel about men in my 60's.

[Gettingbysomehow]

I don't feel I am half a person waiting for the other half to fulfill me. i am a whole person and don't need anyone else.
I've been married and divorced three times, all of my husbands drained me and marriage never sat easy on my shoulders, and this is why.
It's only taken me 60 years to realise this.
Anyone else feel the same?

Not at all. Scandinavian women report that their own men do far more than British women report, but that does not seem to change whether their men are British or Scandinavian. My British girlfriends and women housemates would say I could not cook and did not clean, the Scandinavian girlfriends and wives would report I am a very good good and very house trained. That is largely in the eye of the beholder.

Tell us. I;m genuinely interested

I actually am a carer for the elderly!!!!

I'm not wiping anyone's arse that doesn't pay me lol.

I think the poster that mentioned evolution is right. I used to watch Mad Men about 15 years ago and had thoughts of Jon Hamm shagging me senseless. I'm now in my fifties, currently watching Fargo season 5, starring Mr Hamm and he is just leaving me cold. Looks like a sad, boring middle aged bloke that I wouldn't look twice at!

I had to look twice to make sure I hadn’t written this; it’s exactly my situation and how I feel.

I'm not 60 for a while yet but I totally agree with you. I'm married for a second time to an absolute waste of space and as soon as I'm able to get him out I will and there will never ever be a third husband!
I wish I'd have worked it out after the first husband!

The 'mad' cat ladies we all saw and heard about in our youths, were so much more intelligent then we ever gave them credit for!

Well I for one am still very happy to be shagged senseless by DH and still have many thoughts about it most days, not sure what that has to do with it, but Jon Hamm never did anything for me anyway!

Agree the lots of you. I’m 58, been married for 35 years and if anything happened to dh I wouldn’t replace him. My dh is one of the good ones but my god I find most men quite ridiculous and bloody annoying.

Am divorcing ExH now. It wasn't a great marriage. I can't be arsed to think about another partner. I have a child who needs me and elderly parents to oversee. I used base my value on being able to find some (anyone!), get married and have a kid. Now I realise that was a mistake. I have really got to know myself recently, good and bad. If any bloke showed an interest they'd have to work bloody hard to just get a date! I really don't have the energy to give part of myself to someone again. It's exhausting.

I turned 60 last year and I'm likely to be widowed in the next year or two as my husband is terminally ill. It hasn't been a great marriage as he's been emotionally and financially abusive.

Once he's passed I'll definitely not look for someone else. I've found the older I get, the less tolerant I am. I don't want to put up with someone else snoring, farting, hogging the remote, wanting a nurse/ housekeeper.

Men, in my experience, seem to want a woman younger than themselves, and I have no desire to be with someone 10+ years older than me at this stage of my life. I'll have a little dog for company and will be quite content on my own.

And witches. I daresay many a married women would secretly love the ability to wave a wand and turn her husband into a cat.

I hope your divorce goes through as ok as is possible.
I was like you, just wanted to get married and have a family and didn't see my worth outside of that. I wouldn't want to entertain any man in the future when I eventually get shot of this one!

You've literally spelled out in your post, how they could have been part of the problem (bad choices). So yes.

@AInightingale amen sista 😂😂🙌🙌

Good for you, I'm firmly in the cat camp!

The older I get, the more I like the idea of a women only commune.

I go away with a few girlfriends each year, have done for years, when the dc were young, and now without the dc. There is never any hassle, the bins get emptied without hassle, we take turns in cooking and cleaning without being asked, I can sit and read my book in peace, no one gets the hump if I go to bed early or if I want to listen to cheesy music.

Me and my friends say we will all sell our houses and buy a big old mansion to live in like the golden girls.

In a long happy marriage cannot imagine being bothered ever again if I was alone. Jane McDonald has her bf now living with her, thought that was a fab idea.

Joining! Just turned 50 divorced but kids father is now a friend; relationship of 4.5 years ended with manchild 14 years younger I took a leap of faith (went out with a bang 🤣) a week before my birthday (Oct just gone). I was SO miserable!
Then as soon as new year passed I remembered how cool my life was before I got with him and is with just me and my kids in it. Eat what I like, realise I neglected the kids all of that time (not neglected but focus is now wholly on them), not having to decide what ‘we’ll’ eat / I’ll cook. Was trying to buy a ‘family’ home with him - thank FUCK that didn’t happen. Somethings happen for a reason?
Saving about £300 a month - ruddy cocklodger. He wouldn’t even buy bog roll and he used a LOT. He’d actually save a poo up and go in mine when he got here - WTAF!??
Feel really stupid but life goes on will not be making the same mistake. Given me a new focus in work, applying for promotions. House is now on the market I’m doing it solo.
Negatively I felt up to NY (abandonment most likely) has given me a proper kick up the arse.
And fuck him. His loss. And fuck all of them… (Sorry nice guys reading!) 😂

Great thread.

No @Outliers you're massively finger pointing at the wrong people.

When lovely intelligent women are love bombed and hoodwinked into a relationship by an initially charming (and possibly abusive) bastard, it is not the women who are the problem at the end of the day...

Tell me, if you found out your DH was having an affair tomorrow, would you 'look inward' and acknowledge you were part of the problem, or would you say he was a lying cheating bastard and you wish you'd never made the bad choice in marrying him?
Hindsight is a wonderful thing eh!?

Hey ho..

How do you feel about managing by yourself if you are ill though or have an accident? (Especially if you have no kids).

I'm in a long term relationship, not living together and tolerate DP's whinging and sexual demands - I'm 60 and have gone off sex.

I had an accident last autumn and he was helpful to have around. How do you manage without a partner if you get diagnosed with something nasty and need emotional support? To be honest, this is probably the major thing stopping me ending my relationship. I feel vulnerable with no family but I love my freedom and own space.

hoodwinked once I understand, even twice I get it happens. 3 divorces indicates a lack of discernment.

If I ever hit 3 marriages I'll come back to this thread to correct myself

Absolutely!! Everything i was going to say