How I feel about men in my 60's.

[Gettingbysomehow]

I don't feel I am half a person waiting for the other half to fulfill me. i am a whole person and don't need anyone else.
I've been married and divorced three times, all of my husbands drained me and marriage never sat easy on my shoulders, and this is why.
It's only taken me 60 years to realise this.
Anyone else feel the same?

So agree with you! Especially the 'nurse with a purse'! I will be borrowing this phrase!

Could have written this.

Unfortunately I still get the side-eye from some friends when I try and explain it.

I've said this before on here so apologies if you've heard it before.

I was sitting in the garden of a local coffee shop waiting for a friend. Group of ladies in late 60s/70s at a nearby table. I heard them sympathising with one of the women about the death of her husband. I think she got tired of it in the end and said, "There are positives." Stunned silence and she said, "If I don't want to cook I can just have a boiled egg." Sort of sums it up but I did like her style, she really moved the conversation on.

The "3 marriages" thing is irrelevant really.

Think of how many casual relationships and short term live in partners other people have.

Those of you making comments about 3 marriages, add up how many relationships YOU'VE had. I'll bet it's more than 3. Not that it matters!

How many failed relationships have you had then?

Not really. My one and only marriage started young and lasted 20 years 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I came out as single about 7 years ago. I’m mid 50s now & couldn’t be happier.

I have a friend same age & she puts huge effort into ‘trying to meet the one’. She meets lots of Ones. Each to their own.

Yes, I've also got a friend approaching 60 who is FOREVER trawling through online dating sites, getting her hair done, getting her car washed and driving up and down the motorway to go and meet random men.

God, I just couldn't be doing that.

It is a great phrase!
I am happily married and healthy. Were I to be widowed I would certainly not want another relationship. That would be me for life.
I would imagine the ones that are out there (male and female) are the ones who are used to being looked after by their spouses. And in the case of men, they are more likely to have fallen ill or lost their job leading to divorce.

I've been married three times. Two of them I kicked out because their behaviour degenerated to the 'I don't need to lift a finger, that's what I have a wife for'. And the other one ended because he decided to go off and chase another woman. So I don't really think I need to examine myself too closely, but I do need to look VERY carefully at men professing to want a relationship.

Agree that most men prioritise their friendships with other men. Would be nice to have a really companionable relationship with a bloke you like talking to and who takes a genuine interest in what you think and feel, but do straight men like that exist in any great number?

I agree with so many of you on here, some of the posts I could have written myself!
I am 64 and have been married for 35 years. I love my DH and don't want him not to be around, but if he were gone I know for certain I would never marry again.

And I think I too would get more cats

men on the other hand often can’t bear to be single, has anyone else noticed that? They need to be in a relationship, preferably living with that person. And widowed men often move on to the next woman fairly swiftly….

Marriages 2, live in longterm partner 1, loads of boyfriends in my youth. Nothing since lockdown four years ago.
I'm exhausted by them all. Also bringing up my children pretty much alone. Two are adults now and I only have my 16 year old here. It's pretty peaceful finally, i can sort DC college and driving lessons to come and all their emotional stuff without a man demanding attention and wanting so much from me.
I also can't afford to date,couples always seem to be going places and out for meals and on my salary I just can't. So a win win man free future for me.

Totally. A man at work lost his wife suddenly after 30 years of marriage in Sept 2022. By March 2023 he was living with his new partner who even more bizarrely was the widow of another guy at work who passed away in Oct 2022.

Well I haven't been divorced or had a serious relationship end. I don't think this makes me better than anyone on this thread. I could always divorce or sadly be widowed prematurely.

While i'm no relationship expert by any stretch, anyone with 3+ divorces will have to accept that they are the common denominator. Just my humble opinion.

So he moved on a whole month faster than her. That really sums men up.

After three times it’s fair you should know what works for you or not. I’ve tried to ice skate three times and I know I’m not any good at it and have given up

I swear to it, were my wife to pass I would certainly never ever want another serious relationship.
I see as a man the reverse of what many here experience. I think there are some issues of perspective at play.
I originally logged on here for advice in a relationship where I was the only one working, I did all the housework and cooking (she ordered dinner and got her own lunch when I was at work as her contribution) and there was no sex as she did not want it. I was told it was my fault for exploiting her for her wages and housework and using her for sex.

Many of you have been married more than once, I have been married only the once and have no intention of doing that again.
I have dabbled on old since separating some 12 yrs ago but never with the intention of introducing someone in to the lives of my then young teenagers.
I met someone 18 months ago and part of the appeal was that he works a few hundred miles away for part of the month. Like many of you on this thread I like my own space and the freedom to please myself.
He is kind and caring and would do anything for me, which deep down would include moving in together and even getting married. He knows my feelings on the matter and I think he goes along with what I want just to keep me, for now at least.
At 62 I see no reason at this stage in my life to tie myself by marriage to someone, that is not the only way to show commitment.

I realise that I am writing as a young boy in my 40s. That twenty years makes a massive difference. Please, ignore my previous posts.

Late sixties, on second marriage, plus a few other temporaries, over time.
Like another poster, I only want to murder him around 10% of the time.
That's actually quite good.

As well as DH, I have close platonic male friends but I find that even the best of men are so demanding of women's time and attention, never quite appreciate the woman's lot and have so little “personhood” in comparison to my women friends.
And getting to that point generally took years of training.
And how do you find the decent ones, amongst the mass of entitlement, misogyny and sexism?
Can't be arsed.

I'm heading towards my late ish 60's and have been single since my partner died - we were both 50. I had also been married and divorced., prior to meeting my partner. I do not want some man hanging around, wanting cups of tea, wanting to come shopping with me, discussions about what to have for dinner, and hogging the remote. I'm not interested in having to fit in with a 'new' family, and i'm definitely not introducing some random into mine. I've gone way past wanting to compromise, and I'm simply not doing it. Being single is glorious, and its staying that way.

Unfortunately my experience too and I'm only 47.
I'd love a relationship where we cherish each other as equals but there aren't any men out there who want this. Only a few at least 10 years older who fit the descriptions given above.
I feel really sad about it but I'm not going to settle for an unattractive older man who wants a nurse/purse.

That's ridiculous!