Am I wrong? Wanting a timeline for engagement?

[Stephopp]

So me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years.
He is about to move in with me into my apartment (that I own)
A few days ago I mentioned getting engaged, I said to him that by this time next year I would like a decision on if he saw us getting married or not, as he had said recently he wasn't sure if he did until we lived together.

I thought that a year living together would be a fair time to decide either way. As I'm 26 and he is 29 and we have both said we want kids

He was really upset that I put a timeline on it and said I was putting a massive amount of pressure on him. That maybe he couldn't get a ring in that time and it's impossible to know how long it will take him to decide.

Made me feel awful,he said I'm desperate because of my age and I need to relax.

The thing Is before he has always seemed to be really keen on getting engaged, saying it would be my turn soon whenever friends got engaged.
He even said before that we could be engaged within a year, but when I mentioned that he said i took it too literally and he didn't mean exactly a year.

I asked him if he could give me a vague timeline and he said it's silly to do that because it's impossible for him to know how long it will take.
He needs to see what it's like living together and then he'll decide

He made me seem really crazy and desperate for asking, I didn't think so at first but after every he's said maybe he is right and I need to calm down about it?
Am I wrong for wanting a vague timeline at least?

My view on these type of threads is normally very robust, I have short shrift for men’s dithering and excuses about romantic proposals, expensive weddings etc. and I definitely think having children outside marriage is foolish.

But I don’t know with this one. It doesn't seem unreasonable to want to try living together first and you are only 26 so you are not right up against the clock just yet. He was moving into yours so no financial entanglement, which is something I would also avoid without a proper commitment.

So you could have let him move in and given it the one year anyway, then if at the end no engagement then he moves out. I am not quite sure what you wanted him to do right now that he didn’t and meant you had to split up. I assume this is usually a good relationship as you wanted to marry him, so I think you were hasty to be honest.

As to his reaction, well I think he is just playing it cool.

Muchof - he has said some really hurtful things though, and clearly isn’t particularly bothered about the op - why would she waste time with him? I’m guessing he isn’t great in other ways.

My point is that I thought she was hasty. What happened and what he said after being dumped is somewhat moot, the decision was not based upon that. OP clearly thought he was the man she wanted to marry.

The thing is he has dropped heavy hints and then backed off the idea of marriage. That is an alarm bell.
As PP said, the OP has effectively proposed and the man has said no.