Well that can only mean one thing, can't it

[furbys]

Married, two kids, still on maternity leave with the second. I thought we were good.

On Sunday I saw a WhatsApp message on my husbands phone, number saved as a boys name, picture very much a woman, no previous texts just one message from my husband saying "Furbys will be in with the baby asleep by 9.30. Don't text before then. I promise I'll phone tonight xxx"

Total fluke that I saw it, the baby had grabbed his phone when he was on his play mat and it was open on that message. I somehow instantly knew exactly what I'd just read and clicked off when I heard my husband coming back into the room. He snatched it off the mat so quickly. I didn't have a chance to check his phone again for days as he hasn't had it out his sight but he did today and I checked and the message isn't there now.

Well thats fucking that then isn't it? I've said nothing, to be honest I'm trying to not even think about it, but I know what I've found

I'm so sorry 😟what a bastard!

This will most likely go one of two ways - he'll be full of remorse or he'll try to convince you that you imagined it.

Put you and your baby first, get your ducks in a row and decide what you want to do before facing it with him would be my advice ❤

I’m so sorry this has happened to you, OP. Are you going to try to catch him out? It may be difficult. Would it be best to just ask him openly who this person is?

If this w oils dnd your marriage, it may be best to speak to a solicitor and make all necessary preparations before confronting him.

If this w oils dnd your marriage

If this would end your marriage

PUT THE WHOLE MAN IN THE BIN

I don't know what to do. I want him to have the balls to say it to my face. He's said himself so many times that he doesn't understand why people would cheat, surely the second you're so much as tempted that's when you know it's over and you'd just end it. The absolute hypocrite.

He acted put out when I said I wasn't staying up for the countdown, the baby isn't sleeping well and I'd said I'd go in with them and try and get a bit more sleep because I'm running on empty. He acts put out to me then goes and tells some other bloody woman yay she's going to bed early I promise I'll phone you.

I'm so angry.

I’m so sorry that’s really shit. It’s a pity you didn’t get a pic because he is going to gaslight you and say he doesn’t know what you are talking about and you must be crazy etc. That’s what most men do, deny it altogether. The smart thing to do is to get your ducks in a row regarding money/joint account etc. Is the house in both your names? Are you stable financially? What a dickhead…

I'd of become a stubborn bastard that evening and hung about till gone midnight- while watching him like a hawk.
Up to you whether you want to tip him off before getting ducks in a row or not.
Solicitor ASAP, get all the advice you can. Actually, I'd probably be the kind of bitch that would tell everyone else I know who could offer me support before a DH, conspire to leave behind his back ( as he's been conspiring) then drop a divorce notice on him one day, out of the blue, see how he likes that.

I’m sorry OP.
Agree with PP get advice and all financials lined up before you start any discussions with him.

Have you been tempted to stay up later to irritate them both? Or sneak downstairs about 10pm to try and listen in?

💐

He’s acting put upon because that’s what they do op. Easier to demonise you etc

Oh me too! No way would he have kept that promise with me around.

Once it was out in the open I’d also be mega pushing him to move out to be with her. Take the fun out of it all.

This is what I would do. I would take every opportunity to pretend like you was giving him alone time when he lease expects it and sneakily listening in and then opposite when he expects to be alone, like not going bed early etc etc

What a total git.
Some proof would be helpful. Agree with previous- get your ducks in a row.

I couldn't sleep a wink and did keep going and standing in the hall to see if I could hear him but all I heard all night was the tv and him going outside for around half an hour so pretty obvious he made the call outside.

Yes I expect he will fully try and gaslight me and pretend it hasn't happened, honestly I'm struggling to find the energy to bring it up because I am so tired with two small barely sleeping children I just have no fight in me to have him lie and try and confuse me. I just don't want to have to hear his pathetic excuses.

Read these threads on here so many times, I just fucking hate men

What a twat.

Do you guys own your home? Do you work?

It doesn't matter what he says, you tell him you know, and kick him out.

Sorry this has happened to you. Did you make a mental note of the name he’d saved the number under? Can you check again under that name? I’d get ducks in a row then ask him calmly how long has he been having an affair with *Bob?

What a pathetic mess he is.

I'm so sorry.
Leave him now, before your youngest child remembers having daddy at home. Much easier on the kids if you split now. Don't drag it on would be my advise xx

He will make it your fault. You don’t show him enough attention, or have sex enough. You drove him to another woman with your behaviour. Don’t entertain it, just cut him off and say fuck you, stop making excuses, take responsibility for your own actions. I honestly think I’d pack a bag and tell him to get out and go to her. Bet it won’t be half as exciting then…

What a selfish dickhead, I'm so sorry OP. He really doesn't deserve you.

Nothing useful to add except to say that I wish you all the best and if you do kick him out, make sure he is doing his share with the children. You don't necessarily need to fight him - just resolutely tell him to Fuck Off.

So sorry OP. You are doing the right thing buying yourself some time while you get things sorted.

I’d get up to all sorts of childish shit. Locking the door when he’s on a call, shouting to him out of the windows if he’s in the garden, sneaking into the lounge when he’s outside etc. But your way is classier.

💐

Urgh. I’m so sorry OP.

Why don’t people just have the balls to leave if they’re not happy. Why put someone through all this sneaky shit? It’s pathetic.

I hope you manage to summon some strength to get through this ok 💐

Don't let him fool you into questioning yourself. You know what you saw. Good luck

You don’t need him to confirm or deny.

You don’t need to listen to his bullshit. You know what you saw.

You just say “I know what you’ve been doing, our marriage is over and I want you to leave”. That’s it, on repeat.

What’s the housing situation?

Shame if the baby puked on his phone and broke it...

Agree it would be devastating...