Dp said this / kids bathing

[Etlas79]

Looking for some opinions on this

the dc ages 5 & 6 both shower once a day. Dp would like them to shower twice a day. I showered them yesterday evening, fresh clothes and haven’t left the house since. It’s 2pm and we are heading out to take them swimming, I was going to shower them this morning but instead just did the usual brush teeth and wash faces as they are going to be showering after swimming anyway. I don’t see the point showering them now then again in 3 hours.

dp has got very annoyed about this, even though I tried to explain why. He told me ‘you’re just a dirty white woman with no culture or tradition’ … basically calling me dirty for not showering them this morning.

Is this dirty? How often do you shower your dc? Considering mine are still so young and we haven’t left the house since they showered last night, I just didn’t see the point when they will shower after swimming again? Should I be showering them twice a day?

obviously what dp has said has upset me too

Uh, sounds like he has a MH problem around cleanliness/hygiene. Kids absolutely don't need 2 showers per day, that would be damaging for their skin.

Is it a cultural thing? Considering what he called you I’m guessing he is not a white man?

You were clean enough for him to have children with!! What an absolute joker

What a horrible thing for him to say!

Your kids are not dirty and your dp sounds horrible

Also, not abnormal washing habits. Sounds fine.

The way your DP speaks to you is disrespectful and disgusting. Your kids are not dirty.

Um I bath mine every 2/3 days unless they're really dirty. Kids don't sweat like adults do. He sounds unhinged and is going to give them issues too.

There's so many things wrong with your post.

1. Showering a 5/6 ye old every day is already at the top end of normal. I think mine showered/bathed every other day at that age.

2, it is completely unacceptable for your husband to speak to you in such a horrible manner.

1. If he wants to shower them more, then he can do it can't he.

1. Your response to him being a complete arsehole should not be to question yourself. Stand up for yourself.

Once a day is plenty . Very other day would be fine . In fact i believe we shower too much in some ways for our skin.

Is he normally abusive or is this the first time?

And Racist.

Are you ok OP?

I wouldn’t say it’s a cultural thing as he is not very cultural himself. I believe it comes down to he is quite ocd and with cleanliness. He showers twice per day himself, but only once if he has been home all day.

I feel as though he used the ‘white and no culture’ comment as a bluff just to go along with the narrative that we sometimes hear. I mean, I don’t see how he could say ‘no tradition’ in regards to showering, his own family members don’t shower twice a day either…

Your husband sound like a bit of a prick. I’m hoping he’s got some redeeming features when he speak to you like that? And that aside, once a day is verging on too much.

I’m very upset at the comments he made. I’m quite used to him calling me dirty, it’s causing me one issues actually - I even put a new goal on my New Year’s resolution to be extra clean! I’m very clean myself but he has just made me feel bad with his comments.

I think it’s horrible that he’s picked on my skin colour like that, I would never do that to him

Your husband calls you dirty?

What the fuck? He is supposed to be the one who loves you most in the world op.

i'm guessing he's from a hot country? i live in middle east now and it's normal to shower twice a day because of heat and dust. It's really not good for kids to wash so much. i don't bath my baby everyday! it's really bad for skin. teenagers shower daily, sometimes every other day.

Your husband sounds like a nasty bullying piece of shit. How dare he call you dirty?!

Your bloke is ridiculous and insulting. Racism works both ways

Do you have your own money etc? I am very concerned about you being trapped with this man.

What?! Are they his kids?

You 100 percent don't have to tolerate this OP. You deserve to live free from abuse. Can you ask him to leave? Would he go?

My 6 yo showers once a week.
It was once a fortnight over the holidays. He's not getting that dirty so...

Not acceptable! My 8 year old showers every other day, more if he has been to forest school or is visibly muddy! But if he showers more his skin gets dry. I would seriously consider if this is a relationship that needs to continue, he can't talk to you like that!

Ours get washed when they are dirty, smelly or after swimming, so about twice a week, they don't need more. Your partner is vile, is this all he does like this or is it more common.

op, my exh used to call me racists names, its given my kids a complex about their identity as they're mixed race. my biggest regret is not leaving sooner, dont be me.