Dp said this / kids bathing

[Etlas79]

Looking for some opinions on this

the dc ages 5 & 6 both shower once a day. Dp would like them to shower twice a day. I showered them yesterday evening, fresh clothes and haven’t left the house since. It’s 2pm and we are heading out to take them swimming, I was going to shower them this morning but instead just did the usual brush teeth and wash faces as they are going to be showering after swimming anyway. I don’t see the point showering them now then again in 3 hours.

dp has got very annoyed about this, even though I tried to explain why. He told me ‘you’re just a dirty white woman with no culture or tradition’ … basically calling me dirty for not showering them this morning.

Is this dirty? How often do you shower your dc? Considering mine are still so young and we haven’t left the house since they showered last night, I just didn’t see the point when they will shower after swimming again? Should I be showering them twice a day?

obviously what dp has said has upset me too

It’s bad for their skin to shower even daily, 2/3 times a week is ample for a child- unless been in the mud etc!

My oldest DC got eczema when he was 3 as a result of having a bath once a day. We had to cut the baths down. Maybe a bath is more drying to the skin than a shower, but two showers a day would surely be drying and would quite possibly cause skin problems.

OP, your DH is being completely unreasonable and there is no way he should speak to you like that.

It’s very likely to damage your half-white children if they hear him make racist comments to you.

Yes but apparently only white people can be racist, didn't you know? 😒

At their ages I bathed/showered once a week, as did my children. I assume they wash their hands regularly?

Well yes, some people who have decided to believe in a minority belief system around race do try to impose this divisive idea onto others but anyone with half a brain cell knows it is complete crap.

Your husband is a racist fuck.

Your kids are half white and his racism will affect them too.

Instead of fannying around with New Year's resolutions, pandering to his demands for you all to shower excessively (which is not good for your children's skin), you need to think about the actual issue at hand and how you are going to protect yourself and your children from this abusive man.

Once a day is enough BUT.....going swimming, most pools require everyone to shower BEFORE swimming. I'd like to think that everyone I was sharing a pool with had showered beforehand, it's basic hygiene.

He told me ‘you’re just a dirty white woman with no culture or tradition’

1. What does your skin colour have to do with how often you bathe?
2. He's a racist motherfucker.
3. If my husband spoke to me like that I'd divorce him before he'd finished the fucking sentence!
4. He sounds batshit!

Does he actually have ocd? Big difference between having it or not. Regardless he shouldn't be treating you and the children like this. Of course you are clean. If it is ocd he needs help as it will get worse. Being terrified of germs and illness with ocd is debilitating.

Yes but unfortunately there are way too many people with only half a brain cell

My teenager showers at least every other day but my 9 year old only a couple of times a week unless dirty. If he was going swimming there’s no way I’d bother showering him just to do it again in a couple of hours. It’s just creating a job.

If it’s his tradition why isn’t he washing them?

He’s an abusive dickhead and I bet this isn’t the only way he’s abusive.

He sounds horrid

His racist comments to you are appalling.

Oh dear, he better not come around to my house, my DC have a bath once a week.
Why is your DH being racist ? He chose to marry you.

Dirty white woman!? Your H sounds racist!

He doesn’t need to talk to anyone about it- he can do it himself!

in middle east and asian countries "white british/ european" have a reputation or stereotype of not washing and being smelly/dirty. Mostly because they don't wash after going to the toilet i think. I've lived in ME for over 10 years and heard the stereotype so many times. Also heard it from cab driver and barber relatives in the uk

Racism is generally accepted to mean power + prejudice. Your husband is prejudiced and bigoted (and abusive).

Those who push 'anti-white racism' as a concept are often also keen to downplay evidence of widespread (even if unconscious) racism towards minorities, and its impacts.

People can't accept that they can be arseholes in some respects but not others, ime.

Abusive prick. It's not normal to be spoken to like that, op.

And yes it's absolutely fine not to shower children twice a day.
Unless my children have been out playing in parks or have dirty finger nails etc, our general rule is to bath every second night.

Plenty of doctors and dermatologists say showering every day is bad for the skin. I have friends with eczema and other skin issues who have reduced showering to twice a week and seen their skin improve. Personally, although I have got into the habit of once daily showering, I think I would be better showering twice weekly with added daily washing of certain isolated body bits that do get whiffy after 24 hours (sorry if TMI).

It’s no surprise me to read he is NOT your husband and hasn’t married you.

He sounds controlling and misogynistic and like he doesn’t respect women.

what religion is he / where is he from?

twice a day is terrible for children’s skin btw….

I’d be looking for a locksmith or a new flat on rightmove not making New Year’s resolutions to wash more….

But apart from that, your DP is abusive.

@blacksax well there are thousands of countries on this Earth and all are not the same. I can comment on where I have lived only.

Pools require that before you go in you use the showers there. Often these are at the side of the pool and you can see how much lip service or otherwise that is paid to.