Dp didn’t post me

[Lilas94]

Looking for some ops on this situation.

dp is very private with his personal life. He uses social media every day, mainly for work purposes, but his account has everyone he has ever known on there and even though it’s for business he posts himself all the time and clients etc.

we recently went on a Christmas Day out with the kids. I saw that he posted many videos from this day out, videos of the kids having fun, picture of himself with the kids, videos of some of the performers including one act where a man and woman were wrapped around eachother in a sensual way and he put the quote ‘this could be us’ when he posted it.

now, baring in mind I was there the entire time, there is not one little ounce of me in any of the videos or photos. He took photos of me with the dc but only uploaded his own with them. Some of the videos of the kids I was sitting right next to them but you can’t see that at all in the videos.

his excuse is always ‘private life is a happy life’ but the fact he’s posting the kids means he’s not ‘that’ private and he’s chosen to not include even a hair strand of mine in any of it. The quote about ‘this could be us’ even as a joke hints that he could be single imo.. If I saw another man post a video of a man and woman performing wrapped around each others bodies with the quote ‘this could be us’ it would just lead me to believe he’s single.

what do you think? Aibu/am I reaching too far?

He denies hiding me, told me if he was hiding me we wouldn’t go out together and then got annoyed and told me I have ruined the day and has stropped off to the bedroom….

This is called DARVO. Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.

He denies doing what you've literally seen with your own eyes. Attacks you with bullshit argument and says he's annoyed. Then acts like he is the victim and you're the one in the wrong for challenging him.

End it, OP. What can he possibly do to make you want to stay with him? He's pretending you don't exist, pretending he's a single dad, blocking you from his social media, quite possibly having an affair, and when you challenge him, he DARVOs you and shuts the conversation down.

There's nothing left to say, surely? You need to think now about how you get out of the relationship quickly and safely.

This makes me think of so many threads on here where the OP is in a relationship with a man who is supposedly separated from his wife but they're still living together while the house sells blah blah blah and the OP is almost always complaining that the 'ex' is controlling and the bloke has to hide their relationship/do whatever the 'ex' says or she'll delay the divorce/steal all his money/stop him seeing the kids etc etc only it's never true, the bloke is always lying and the OP is unknowingly the other woman.

I'm sorry OP but it doesn't look good

Seems a bit fishy to me - if you pardon the pun.

What a disgusting man. Lying, deflecting and gaslighting his partner then storming off in a guilty strop blaming OP never mind using his children to project the super dad image to impress another woman. I bet he has told her he's separated or single to hook her in.

I would set up an open Instagram account OP, even under a nickname and if he accepts you, post a suitable comment relating to that comment of his. Make sure you post pics of the two of you together last weekend so who ever is viewing the account sees them.

Personally I would just bin the creep or rapidly get my ducks in a row.

So very sorry.

I was blocked from my husband's instagram account.

Even when I was not blocked I wasn't ever in pictures. It was just him and our children.

He looked every inch the single doting dad.

It was so that he got more attention from women.

He then went on to post pictures of him and a colleague. About what a catch she was.

A mutual friend sent screenshots in the end after seeing what was going on.

24 years down the pan.

Gut instinct is usually right unfortunately

I'm not a LTB type but walk away. He is hypocritical with his explanations and I would not tolerate this. The fact you would need to force his hand to include you would be a step too far and too late IMO

Men are generally very easy to understand. It's quite simple - he's not proud of you. He thinks he can do better and get someone hotter than you. Also, concerning his weird comment, he's either trying to make you jealous for some reason or the comment is meant for another woman. Don't let him gaslight you.

sounds dodgy-i dont post about my dh but hes not blocked and follows me and vie versa

Major red flag

What a horrible brazen bastard!
You're better off without such a shit in your life ❤️.

Wow, what an utter dick head. Not only is he clearly having an affair, he's not even trying to hide it.

There's only one option for me. Pack his bags and kick him out. So sorry OP, but let's be honest, your life will improve dramatically once you get rid of this stinking pile of man turd.

He needs to go now and you need to make plans re seeking legal advice re all aspects of separation and divorce. Knowledge here is power.

OP, you know in your heart he's either having an affair or wanting one, or may even want to leave completely. None of this behaviour is acceptable or can be rationalised.

I think the fish story suggests there is an OW and she thinks he is single - hence sending him home with half eaten fish! He must be stupid (or think you're stupid) not to have the sense to bin it on his way home.

Create new Instagram account

Put up a picture of you and him and tag him.

Label it like ' another year with DP, merry Xmas'

See what he does

Yep.

Agree with PP he is busy warning OW and sanitising his phone…

If this was me I’d think he wants this from
someone on his friends list and that message is to her . He is telling them you and him aren’t good and hence no pics of you .

Possibly an emotional affair too?
Op keep your thoughts to yourself for now and dig deeper .
Sotry hut your dh is got as hell abs a Lier.

Oh dear. He sounds a charmer. Kick him out

Read the updates . Emotional actor looking for more .
He will be the type of man messing around all the time by sounds of it sorry op.
Happy life for him not having any of his women on sm as then it’s hard for him to get caught . Certainly not. Happy life for you.
These sneaks never change . Make your plans im the new year and don’t listen to anymore of his lies or let him convince you to stay.

He’s a twerp! I’m more pissed at the fact he’s trying to take you for an idiot and then gaslighting you, coming up with illogical excuses/reasons, etc.

This is the part that always gets me with men that cheat. If you going to do it, at least piss off and go with the the other person and don’t make the persons life that you are cheating on miserable in the process! What they are doing is bad enough but no, they still want to make out YOU are being the crazy irrational one.

We can all see he’s up to no good in one way or another, please leave him 💐

Sorry op, but my instincts would tell me something is definitely off here. I would have to do some low key investigations before confrontations though. Good luck and trust your gut x

I'm so sorry OP, what your DP is doing is really not good. Major red flags there. I'd say he is either having or wants an affair and that's why he is trying to hide you. I'd keep the peace over Xmas for the sake of the kids, but please line your ducks up and be prepared to go solo, because that is what he's planning. Due to the fact that you say he's never tagged you and shared pics with you on it I'd say his affair is ongoing and has been going on for a while. I'm sorry but you need to prepare yourself for big changes.

I think he has a whole other life I'm so sorry OP. Dump him. You deserve better.

'this could be us' is a direct message to a significant other. What else could he mean by that? I hope you find the strength to leave him, he sounds fucking horrible

I agree with posters advising you NOT to create a new unblocked account to post on his account. It'll just make you look crazy and won't make him value you more. He'd just be angry, so what's the point!

It can be hard to know how to react when you're trying to piece together what's going on and what it is that you're supposed to be reacting to.

But in this situation I'd ask yourself what would you do if he sat you down and said (verbally) ''look @Lilas94 I don't value you, I'm not proud of you, I think I can do better, I'm not scared of losing you, I'm basically making that clear to hundreds of people on SM, some of whom know you too, and I don't care that that's humiliating for you. The bottom line is, I've one eye out elsewhere but I'll string you along until I am recognised as the Sexy Alpha Male I believe I am, ok?''. If he said that, what would you do next.

I wouldn't bother getting a fake account to urinate around him like he's a lamp post and you're a dog. He's not worth urinating around.