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Original poster

Dp didn’t post me

219 replies

Lilas94 · 24/12/2023 10:21

Looking for some ops on this situation.

dp is very private with his personal life. He uses social media every day, mainly for work purposes, but his account has everyone he has ever known on there and even though it’s for business he posts himself all the time and clients etc.

we recently went on a Christmas Day out with the kids. I saw that he posted many videos from this day out, videos of the kids having fun, picture of himself with the kids, videos of some of the performers including one act where a man and woman were wrapped around eachother in a sensual way and he put the quote ‘this could be us’ when he posted it.

now, baring in mind I was there the entire time, there is not one little ounce of me in any of the videos or photos. He took photos of me with the dc but only uploaded his own with them. Some of the videos of the kids I was sitting right next to them but you can’t see that at all in the videos.

his excuse is always ‘private life is a happy life’ but the fact he’s posting the kids means he’s not ‘that’ private and he’s chosen to not include even a hair strand of mine in any of it. The quote about ‘this could be us’ even as a joke hints that he could be single imo.. If I saw another man post a video of a man and woman performing wrapped around each others bodies with the quote ‘this could be us’ it would just lead me to believe he’s single.

what do you think? Aibu/am I reaching too far?

OP posts:
puttyinboots · 24/12/2023 12:43

He has you blocked?!! 😱 that is not ok

Original poster
Lilas94 · 24/12/2023 12:46

he brought home 2 packs of fish on Friday after work, I had just assumed he bought them as he came home with shopping (this was the day of our outing). This morning he has asked me to cook the fish for him, I had seen that both packs are from M&S (which we never shop there). I did begin to wonder where the closest M&S is to his work that he could have possibly gone in to buy these random 2 packs of fish, didn’t add up. I then realised that one of the packs has been half eaten already, a pack of salmon that actually is meant to be eaten raw but he told me it needs to be cooked. I asked him, you have already eaten half of it so surely you’d know how it needs to be cooked? The look on his face instantly proved to me that he had not bought it himself as he clearly didn’t realise one pack had been half eaten. I then questioned if another woman has given it to him and he told me the open pack was taken from work when they were clearing out the fridge and he bought the other pack… why would he go out of his way to buy 1 random pack of fish that he never eats anyway?

I then questioned him on the social media issue. I asked why he’s hiding me and asked about the ‘this could be us’ and told him that would not be appropriate if I had done that. He denies hiding me, told me if he was hiding me we wouldn’t go out together and then got annoyed and told me I have ruined the day and has stropped off to the bedroom….

For me I really do not want to waste any more years in this type of situation. It’s coming into a new year and although I brush this issue aside, I don’t want it to continue. We have been together 8 years

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 24/12/2023 12:46

I also don’t have Instagram but even when I did he wouldn’t let me follow his page, he had my account blocked and his reasoning has always been private life happy life.

More red flags than a Chinese military parade.

topnoddy · 24/12/2023 12:46

Why would you want to post stuff with your kids in full stop if it's all going to be there for all and sundry to see ?

Seaside3 · 24/12/2023 12:49

Sorry, but this is a man having an affair.

SamW98 · 24/12/2023 12:53

He’s cheating and his stroppy response proves he’s lying to you.

Youre right in not wanting to continue living like this. Sending love and strength to you ❤️

Howbizarre22 · 24/12/2023 12:54

OP the reason he got angry & stropped off is: guilty af. He wouldn’t be angry if he was innocent- he’d be reassuring you. He’s annoyed you’re onto him and he knows he’s doing wrong. He must think you’re stupid. You can do so much better- he can’t be trusted and doesn’t seem to care about your feelings either. He cares more about his image to all his followers and appearing single than he does you.

SoreAndTired1 · 24/12/2023 13:00

Lilas94 · 24/12/2023 12:46

he brought home 2 packs of fish on Friday after work, I had just assumed he bought them as he came home with shopping (this was the day of our outing). This morning he has asked me to cook the fish for him, I had seen that both packs are from M&S (which we never shop there). I did begin to wonder where the closest M&S is to his work that he could have possibly gone in to buy these random 2 packs of fish, didn’t add up. I then realised that one of the packs has been half eaten already, a pack of salmon that actually is meant to be eaten raw but he told me it needs to be cooked. I asked him, you have already eaten half of it so surely you’d know how it needs to be cooked? The look on his face instantly proved to me that he had not bought it himself as he clearly didn’t realise one pack had been half eaten. I then questioned if another woman has given it to him and he told me the open pack was taken from work when they were clearing out the fridge and he bought the other pack… why would he go out of his way to buy 1 random pack of fish that he never eats anyway?

I then questioned him on the social media issue. I asked why he’s hiding me and asked about the ‘this could be us’ and told him that would not be appropriate if I had done that. He denies hiding me, told me if he was hiding me we wouldn’t go out together and then got annoyed and told me I have ruined the day and has stropped off to the bedroom….

For me I really do not want to waste any more years in this type of situation. It’s coming into a new year and although I brush this issue aside, I don’t want it to continue. We have been together 8 years

He blocks you from following you.

Think about that. A man that you have been in a relationship with, for 8 years, blocks you.

He has another family/woman OP, and you know it. Sorry. I'd leave before Christmas. I wouldn't want to spend Christmas Day with a man who lies to your face, gaslights you, and isn't proud to show you off on social media (where he is certainly not 'private' about his life is he).

FictionalCharacter · 24/12/2023 13:00

Lilas94 · 24/12/2023 12:46

he brought home 2 packs of fish on Friday after work, I had just assumed he bought them as he came home with shopping (this was the day of our outing). This morning he has asked me to cook the fish for him, I had seen that both packs are from M&S (which we never shop there). I did begin to wonder where the closest M&S is to his work that he could have possibly gone in to buy these random 2 packs of fish, didn’t add up. I then realised that one of the packs has been half eaten already, a pack of salmon that actually is meant to be eaten raw but he told me it needs to be cooked. I asked him, you have already eaten half of it so surely you’d know how it needs to be cooked? The look on his face instantly proved to me that he had not bought it himself as he clearly didn’t realise one pack had been half eaten. I then questioned if another woman has given it to him and he told me the open pack was taken from work when they were clearing out the fridge and he bought the other pack… why would he go out of his way to buy 1 random pack of fish that he never eats anyway?

I then questioned him on the social media issue. I asked why he’s hiding me and asked about the ‘this could be us’ and told him that would not be appropriate if I had done that. He denies hiding me, told me if he was hiding me we wouldn’t go out together and then got annoyed and told me I have ruined the day and has stropped off to the bedroom….

For me I really do not want to waste any more years in this type of situation. It’s coming into a new year and although I brush this issue aside, I don’t want it to continue. We have been together 8 years

He tried bullshitting you, he knew he was lying, so he’s making you the bad guy for “ruining the day”. Sorry OP, he’s 100% guilty.

Loubelou14 · 24/12/2023 13:03

Can you add a comment to say love you so much or something to play him at his game? 😂

2023usernameNew · 24/12/2023 13:04

I would dare him to post a picture of the two of you or the family together and write a loving caption.

Clementine1513 · 24/12/2023 13:06

I’m so sorry OP but this man is purposely omitting you from the life he portrays on social media. He is curating a “super single dad” image and the “this could be us” sounds targeted to someone specific. He is gaslighting you with this “private life” BS and blocking you from his Insta account. You deserve much better than this.

It would be hard for him to be the amazing single dad he portrays if you sent him to his parents for christmas…

MILTOBE · 24/12/2023 13:12

They always storm off to the bedroom or bathroom - they need somewhere private so they can send their girlfriend a warning message not to text, then delete all their messages and photos.

You should expect him back in soon telling you that you can check his phone if you like.

Confused
Gymnopedie · 24/12/2023 13:14

then got annoyed and told me I have ruined the day and has stropped off to the bedroom….

Classic DARVO - deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. The standard technique for cheaters.

YoBeaches · 24/12/2023 13:14

Yeah, something very not right here. He has become overly confident in his ability to get away with stuff and you have sniffed him out.

Even if he is t having an affair yet. He wants to. Stomping off to the bedroom is classic, and gaslighting you.

Make a plan.

Olika · 24/12/2023 13:18

There is definitely something going on. The fish thing is just too weird again. He must be having an affair.

Ramalangadingdong · 24/12/2023 13:18

MidnightMeltdown · 24/12/2023 10:44

It is a bit odd, but if he was trying to attract someone surely he wouldn't post pictures of his kids either?

It depends on the other person. For some people it's a sign that a man can commit and that he is a good future prospect in terms of being a family man. It's one of the reasons affairs can happen - the other woman feels that she's found her perfect man...if only he wasn't married to......(fill in the gap)

VanityDiesHard · 24/12/2023 13:18

This man is not only venal but also stupid. The fish situation beggars belief and makes me think that he actually wants to be caught.

raindropsonatinroof · 24/12/2023 13:19

MILTOBE · 24/12/2023 13:12

They always storm off to the bedroom or bathroom - they need somewhere private so they can send their girlfriend a warning message not to text, then delete all their messages and photos.

You should expect him back in soon telling you that you can check his phone if you like.

Confused

Exactly this. They are tediously predictable

FictionalCharacter · 24/12/2023 13:22

MILTOBE · 24/12/2023 13:12

They always storm off to the bedroom or bathroom - they need somewhere private so they can send their girlfriend a warning message not to text, then delete all their messages and photos.

You should expect him back in soon telling you that you can check his phone if you like.

Confused

Spot on.
The fish saga shows how brazen he is, but tbh if my husband brought home packs of fish and asked me to cook them for him (not for us or as a family meal) he’d be having a lovely relaxing salmon face mask.

SamW98 · 24/12/2023 13:22

I then questioned him on the social media issue. I asked why he’s hiding me and asked about the ‘this could be us’ and told him that would not be appropriate if I had done that. He denies hiding me, told me if he was hiding me we wouldn’t go out together and then got annoyed and told me I have ruined the day and has stropped off to the bedroom….

in other words ‘oh shit you’ve caught me out lying and I can’t think on my feet of another lie to cover my arse so I’ll gaslight you and hide away to buy myself some time to come up with a cover story

raindropsonatinroof · 24/12/2023 13:24

It is a bit odd, but if he was trying to attract someone surely he wouldn't post pictures of his kids either?

You can't hide the fact you have kids- in fact, he could use that to his advantage "see what a caring wonderful father I am doing all this with the kids on my own- see? just see how caring and loving I am and I'm doing it all alone" tiny violin music blah blah blah.

Just look at how people react to a single dad taking their kids out: "aw he's SUCH a great dad", - they fall over themselves gushing about single dads, notice how noone ever says that about single mums.

3luckystars · 24/12/2023 13:26

He has a secret life.

ToughLoveLDN · 24/12/2023 13:29

You need to make a FINSTA (fake insta). Follow him. Look at every single post he posts and see which women like/comment. There’s your answer. He may not have cheated but he’s definitely talking to someone. Stories like that are always for someone in particular

Angelsrose · 24/12/2023 13:31

Sadly I think your partner considers himself a single man. The social media thing is very concerning and definitely looks like he is hiding something. Let him cook his own fish. Sounds like you're convenient for him at the moment.

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