Dp didn’t post me

[Lilas94]

Looking for some ops on this situation.

dp is very private with his personal life. He uses social media every day, mainly for work purposes, but his account has everyone he has ever known on there and even though it’s for business he posts himself all the time and clients etc.

we recently went on a Christmas Day out with the kids. I saw that he posted many videos from this day out, videos of the kids having fun, picture of himself with the kids, videos of some of the performers including one act where a man and woman were wrapped around eachother in a sensual way and he put the quote ‘this could be us’ when he posted it.

now, baring in mind I was there the entire time, there is not one little ounce of me in any of the videos or photos. He took photos of me with the dc but only uploaded his own with them. Some of the videos of the kids I was sitting right next to them but you can’t see that at all in the videos.

his excuse is always ‘private life is a happy life’ but the fact he’s posting the kids means he’s not ‘that’ private and he’s chosen to not include even a hair strand of mine in any of it. The quote about ‘this could be us’ even as a joke hints that he could be single imo.. If I saw another man post a video of a man and woman performing wrapped around each others bodies with the quote ‘this could be us’ it would just lead me to believe he’s single.

what do you think? Aibu/am I reaching too far?

Surely “He won’t let me follow him on Instagram and he’s blocked me” should be right up there in your OP as the biggest red flag. I don’t understand why you think that is in any way normal.

he is hiding you.

Unfortunately I agree.

Please re-read this to yourself. He is hiding you.

Do you have any friends or family that follow him? You could maybe have a look from their account. Something isn't right here. His behaviour is very odd.

He wouldn't need to hide his kids if he ALREADY has someone who knows he has kids but he's making out that he's out on his own with the kids.

It would be hard but I think I'd be telling him that as he appears to want to be a single dad he can be.

He wouldn't let you follow his page and forbid you liking/commenting on his pics? That alone I could not comprehend nor get past in a relationship.

I think it’s fine to create another Instagram account for this purpose. I’d be very suspicious about why he’s blocked you.

I’m not in favour of creating face accounts and such, I think you should just confront people and not play games. But there’s no way OP could get in trouble to do this to contact her own husband.

His disrespect is breathtaking. He is treating you like a fool.

He has another family or long term partner. Biggest red flag ever.

he can post pictures of your kids and you can’t see or comment on it - where is their privacy?

for me he puts me on a non restricted access to everything or Christmas morning is on his own

He is clearly hiding you and portraying himself as a single separated parent.

Get yourself a fake insta and look. However don’t spend too much time as you may not see anything but do make plans regardless to leave. He’s disrespectful.

No. Just no. This is dodgy AF. He's cheating on you or wants to. There's no other explanation. Private life is happy life my arse. He's cheating.

Private life is happy life. Yes of course - for him. Then he can do what he wants and present himself as he wants.

Sorry OP but it's time for him to go.

What's your move OP?

He has his eye on someone else. Wise up and start investigating.

You being blocked is weird. I would have a chat with him and not drop it until I get to the bottom of this all. If he is so private that there is no sign of his wife on social media then why is he posting about kids.

She should only do that if she wants to stay with him. If he's involved with someone else then she could end up looking foolish.

This is absolutely not ok.

My husband doesn’t use social media at all and would NEVER post our children on it. I post us all sometimes and he lets me tag him. But there’s no trace from his own posts of my children or me, but also my husband doesn’t post! His last post was 2020! I’d be really pissed off and weirded out if he posted all the time and never about me. The not letting you be his friend on social media is a massive red flag! ITS SO WEIRD!! What a creepy fuck!

I don’t post photos of myself or my partner and we rarely tag each other. Neither of us like being photographed. No-one looking at my or his posts would know much about our private life at all. That suits us both.

Your DP needs to decide whether his social media is private or public. Your children should not be on there if he is concerned about having a private life. Having photos of days out and performers entwined with each other is hardly that professional either if he is concerned about his business reputation.

Is he embarrassed of you in some way? It’s really horrible OP but I would straight out ask him what the issue is. Blocking you from his social media page is appalling.

Did you post about him recently? Seems familiar 🤔

I'm really sorry OP but this is just awful and must make you feel like crap. He's also a gaslighting twat with the whole "private life is a happy life".
My thought would be he is having some kind of affair (emotional or otherwise) and his SM is a charade of being single or not wanting to broadcast his relationship with you.

Due to the fact you have children and therefore a life together, I'd want to seek some kind of proof before I went nuclear, otherwise you're going to get the lying bastard version of him when confronted.

I would play the quiet happy card for now and utilise any opportunities to go through his phone. I'd be checking who his friends are on insta etc. Get the old MN ducks in a row so to speak.

Sorry but why aren't you allowed to follow his Instagram? Is this a joke? You need to have a conversation with him.

I would also sadly only read that as he’s wanting to appear single and a great dad and there’s someone he likes. If it was genuine he would immediately apologise and post you saying “oops forgot my beautiful wife who was taking the pictures”.
You can’t be very private but post on social media every day! He’s not private, he’s just got your believing that. It’s usually the other way around that’s normal, couples post themselves as adults but keep their kids off social media.