Dp didn’t post me

[Lilas94]

Looking for some ops on this situation.

dp is very private with his personal life. He uses social media every day, mainly for work purposes, but his account has everyone he has ever known on there and even though it’s for business he posts himself all the time and clients etc.

we recently went on a Christmas Day out with the kids. I saw that he posted many videos from this day out, videos of the kids having fun, picture of himself with the kids, videos of some of the performers including one act where a man and woman were wrapped around eachother in a sensual way and he put the quote ‘this could be us’ when he posted it.

now, baring in mind I was there the entire time, there is not one little ounce of me in any of the videos or photos. He took photos of me with the dc but only uploaded his own with them. Some of the videos of the kids I was sitting right next to them but you can’t see that at all in the videos.

his excuse is always ‘private life is a happy life’ but the fact he’s posting the kids means he’s not ‘that’ private and he’s chosen to not include even a hair strand of mine in any of it. The quote about ‘this could be us’ even as a joke hints that he could be single imo.. If I saw another man post a video of a man and woman performing wrapped around each others bodies with the quote ‘this could be us’ it would just lead me to believe he’s single.

what do you think? Aibu/am I reaching too far?

"private life is a happy life"

A person who values their private life, normally does not post pictures and videos of their children on social media.

Why have you not done this already?

Put a message "hey! I was there with our kids too - where's my picture? You look like you are a single dad 😂"

If he's blocked her can she post a comment?

He's not being 'private' at all.

He is an active social media user and happily plastering himself and his DCs and his business/clients all over his social media pages.

I would be hurt, too.

You need to ask him what's really going on. Because it's not a good look from him...

He's been caught dead to rights in a lie and has gone on the offensive.

You need to kick him to the kerb. There is someone else. Clearly.

I had an ex who would not want to add me on fb even we were waiting a baby together, it feels really sad because at least in my case I felt he was ashamed of me.

I don't think he is private at all when he posts pictures of him and his sons in a business page abd the caption this could be us is aim to someone that is not you as he even blocked you! What he has to hide?

I personally don't gush over single dads at all, and wouldn't consider taking on someone with kids. I wouldn't even want a widower with kids, let alone a divorcee.

Wishing you strength OP. Stand firm in your boundaries. You have done nothing wrong. Your DP sounds self-absorbed and self-obsessed. What a turn-off.

I had a similar experience. I was pregnant and announced it via fb, tagged the ex and he deleted it immediately. Thought something was wrong with my post, so put it up again. Nope he deleted it again.

He was shagging someone else.

Obvs just my story but yours doesn't sound overly great.

She said it is an open account, I thought that meant she could comment if she can see the pics. But you maybe right - and if it is only on his story then it has probably gone, how annoying! And very sneaky of him

He's definitely curating a narrative for an audience that is not you.

I'm sorry OP, he sounds like a horrible, devious man.

Bringing salmon from an office lunchtime party is feasible, if both packs had come from there. Does seem a bit random.

It would put me on guard. I would carry on as normal, but just be alert.

I would put on every single post

"Aww it was a lovely day with our children, love you so much!"

And variations of that. On, I am not kidding, every single one. See what he does then.

Sounds like he's a cheating bastard!!

It's so so weird to not have partner on social media. What are they hiding?

If my husband blocked me on social media I’d tell him he could go get fucked to be honest.

no signs of relationships on socials isn’t a bad thing, but I’d absolutely everything else is posted about then I’d be questioning why I am the one part that’s left out.

I would genuinely believe he was cheating from the 'this could be us'. I would think he was sending a message to somebody on his social media. I've also noticed that for some reason, men love to involve their kids in affairs, new relationships and become super dad to impress the other women.

Sorry you've been made to feel so awful op.

I don't understand what he means by 'a private life, a happy life'? you seem to be the only one he's being secretive with!

This could be us

He is soooo into OLD, is my bet if not he is already talking to someone pretending to be an amazing dad.

Private life my arse.

What he means is private from OP; the one person who should know everything. Wives tend to dampen an affair.

The FINSTA idea is brilliant. It can ask the hubby who that woman was hanging around him and the kids was. His answer should tell OP all she needs to know. And proves that he is either having an affair or angling for one. (Both equally heinous.) That way he hangs himself and can't gaslight his way out.

Do a Babooska* and arrange a sexy date. Make it a special occasion as you hand over the divorce papers.

Addendum
*Kate Bush song.

''private life is a happy life''!?
Point out to him you ARE his private life - or are you actually invisible to him?
He's not very bright is he?

This is really strange and sounds like there is someone else / he is cheating.

I don’t really post photos of DH even on family days but I do post photos of the children. I would never crop him out the backgrounds though and I do post the odd photo. I don’t think this is the issue though it’s the caption, it sounds like he is directing it at someone else.

What would he say if you posted a photo of you both? Would he be ok with this and could you tag him?

Also the fish thing sounds suspicious too.

Lol. Yeah don't do any of this absolute garbage !

Why not? It’s not like strangers will see the kids online and then somehow find our their address.

Not read the whole thread but I have read the OP and a few of the OP subsequent posts.
Please let me just say having been through the most toxic relationship and subsequent divorce that extreme secrecy about apparently innocent things (they aren't innocent by the way, he just wants you to think that way) coupled with controlling behaviour (eg explaining his behaviour as "privacy") is the behaviour of someone who is going to cheat on you if they are not already.
Whatever the current situation and even if he is not cheating on you (now...) the blanking of you and the posting of the kids and/or the kids and him is at best incredibly disrespectful and is what is looks like - he wishes you did not exist.

I would be confronting him until he is totally honest with you OP.

Trust your gut… if there’s any other reason you are suspicious I expect you are right. Good luck xxxx