Dp didn’t post me

[Lilas94]

Looking for some ops on this situation.

dp is very private with his personal life. He uses social media every day, mainly for work purposes, but his account has everyone he has ever known on there and even though it’s for business he posts himself all the time and clients etc.

we recently went on a Christmas Day out with the kids. I saw that he posted many videos from this day out, videos of the kids having fun, picture of himself with the kids, videos of some of the performers including one act where a man and woman were wrapped around eachother in a sensual way and he put the quote ‘this could be us’ when he posted it.

now, baring in mind I was there the entire time, there is not one little ounce of me in any of the videos or photos. He took photos of me with the dc but only uploaded his own with them. Some of the videos of the kids I was sitting right next to them but you can’t see that at all in the videos.

his excuse is always ‘private life is a happy life’ but the fact he’s posting the kids means he’s not ‘that’ private and he’s chosen to not include even a hair strand of mine in any of it. The quote about ‘this could be us’ even as a joke hints that he could be single imo.. If I saw another man post a video of a man and woman performing wrapped around each others bodies with the quote ‘this could be us’ it would just lead me to believe he’s single.

what do you think? Aibu/am I reaching too far?

Sorry to say @Lilas94 your partner is trying to impress someone else about what a great single dad he is.
If he wanted to keep things private he’d have a locked account or wouldn’t post at all. Blocking you only makes his account private to you. He doesn’t want anyone to know he’s married.

happy divorced dad vibes to post them as if mum wasn't there with them

Hi op I would feel exactly the same if I saw that caption.

However I'm very private when it comes to my husband and kids. I only post pics of them on my what's app status because its only friends and family that can see. Same for hubby.

Buy if I saw that I would be fuming.

’this could be us’ is a popular meme caption for those who are confused. You use it with a weird, interesting or funny image of a ‘couple’ or something similar to a couple.

i am happily married and used ‘this could be us’ as a joke in my stories when i saw a creepy bride and groom doll at a museum.

other uses:

picture of two pigeons sharing a chip
posh and becks sat on their awful wedding thrones
tony Blair and Gordon brown sharing an ice cream

etc

’this could be us’ doesn’t mean he has a secret girlfriend it’s targeted to- BUT based on his other behaviour, he definitely doesn’t want you on his socials and is enjoying pretending that you don’t exist.

I think the photos of him with his children send out the message (genuine or fake) ladies, I'm a great Dad. And the omission of a mother in the scene sends out the message ''there's space for a romantic partner in my life''.

He ''ll no doubt argue that this was not the message though.

@stillplentyofjunkinthetrunk yes, that's much more succinct. The whole thing sends out HAPPY DIVORCED DAD energy

Wow. He’s not even trying to hide the real red flags.

So much wrong with this. Reminds me of ex-dh. That didn’t end well. Sorry OP but I suspect he’s hiding something.

The fact that he has you blocked on his public social media page, but posts the kids is massive alarm bells.

Has he EVER posted a picture of you?

As the saying goes - if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck.... it might be a very rare rabbit - but its much more likely to be a duck.

Hugs OP I've just caught my husband cheating so I have some understanding of where you are at the moment.

Good luck xx

I know many people who don’t post partners for various reasons, so that wouldn’t bother me.

This could be us though - that’s a message to someone who is not you. Is there anything else that seems out of order?

So many red flags OP, you are definitely not overreacting. This is hugely off! And are you ok with him blasting your kids all over social media?

What is his business that he is posting so much for? Is he a personal trainer or some other self employed role where he wants to position himself to a certain audience (sexually available women or women who like the idea of a potentially sexually available PT?)?

Or is it crypto and he is painting a picture of this effortless, aspirational life (and conveniently eliding the woman who makes it all actually happen)?

No she won't.

He posts a photo of people wrapped around each other with the caption “this could be us”
He posts multiple photos of himself and the kids but none of you
He wouldn’t let you follow him on Instagram
He actually *blocked” you on Instagram.
None of this is normal for a married man.

Sorry but “this could be us” is aimed at someone else and he’s either in a relationship with them already, or wants to be.

Posting zero photos of your wife isn’t keeping your private life private (your children are part of your private life not your professional life) - it’s pretending you’re single. I’m sorry @Lilas94, this is awful. “This could be us” on a platform you’re not allowed to see is a very clear message.

I find it very weird that he won't let you access his instagram page. That would set off plenty of alarm bells for me.

I would wonder who it was directed to as well.

I doubt he would put a comment like that to someone else when his wife can see all his posts.

Can't you just tag yourself in with a comment like "you dopey git, 20yrs on this is what we are always like"

Suspicious as fuck. You either don’t fit his carefully curated online presence, or he is courting the attention of someone else / making out he is single. I’m sorry, neither are great. Have you asked him why?

He posts on instagram much more than anywhere else BECAUSE you're not connected there, he feels safer posting content you can't see. The privacy argument doesn't hold up, I ask my husband if he's happy for me to post certain photos with him on first but the fact he isn't even mentioning that you exist...

Exactly. He’s portraying himself as a divorced dad - a good father to his kids, but available for a relationship. He could even be seeing someone else already.

Time to get your Colleen Rooney on a make a fake instagram profile and follow him …. That is gross , absurd and so very very wrong

Who will the OP get in trouble with? The Instagram police? Meta's military wing? That charming chap from Catfish?

Pish.

Sorry OP. He’s taking you for an absolute mug. I cannot BELIEVE he actually has you blocked !!! And fed you bullshit that it’s cos he wants a private life but then NONE of his life on social media is private apart from his wife???!! Man is a cheat sorry. A female attention seeking egomaniac cheat. Totally wrote that with some woman in mind too. I’m so sorry. Ugh. I can’t believe you’ve accepted this for so long. Like someone else said- he’s always going to lie & deny- so I would be tempted to create false account too, an attractive photo of random woman follow him & flirt & see if he flirts back or more. Orrr add him then reveal yourself as his wife and write alllll over his posts romantic stuff and see how he reacts. Ugh what a slimy creep.

Yep really suspicious. I'll put my hard hat on and say that I was in an affair situation once and we left 'coded' messages to each other on social media because we were no contact at weekends and holidays etc so this is exactly the type of thing we would have done, which is why I would be suspicious.