Partner says if he can’t smoke weed NYE I cannot have a drink

[emilycurtisxx]

Long story short partner smokes regularly. Won’t tell me how much but I assume few times a week. Gets snappy when he doesn’t smoke.
he compares his weed smoking to me drinking (I only drink when we are socialising never at home)
problem is now, when we socialise I use alcohol to bring me out my shell a bit, and also we are ALWAYS around his friends his family so it helps me feel more comfortable. I’ve told him to quit the weed and he says he will for me even though he doesn’t think there is anything wrong with it because it’s “natural” and “legal in some states in the USA” (I don’t think this will happen) but only when I move in with him.
we had a compromise of him only smoking on the weekends, but it’s every single weekend and a bit annoying. Also when we go out with his friends/family he gets a “free pass” almost because he says if I’m drinking then he’s smoking.
what do I even say to this? Is he fair?
he is basically saying once he “quits” I am never allowed to have a social drink again when out with his friends…

The rates are rising and its happening quicker.
https://www.priorygroup.com/media-centre/cannabis-use-fuelling-rise-in-psychosis-among-young-adults-says-top-priory-expert

I think unless he is dropping all his responsibilities to smoke weed you are being unreasonable.

His weed smoking might not be ideal but you can't force someone to quit smoking it, and you definitely you can't decide your substance is fine but his is not.

If you don't like the weed smoking then end the relationship, that would be completely reasonable, or if you don't want that then refuse to he around him when he is stoned that would be reasonable but trying to tell him what he can and can not smoke and when he can and can not smoke it is unreasonable.

I neither drink alcohol nor smoke weed, but knowing what I know now of life, I would much rather have a relationship with a weed user than a drinker, as in my experience weed has a much less deleterious impact on behaviour, and is also a lot less physically addictive.

From what you describe OP neither you nor the boyfriend currently use your drug of choice to an excessive degree, but both are reliant on it in certain situations and unwilling to quit.

If you insist he quits his drug of choice I would argue he has every right to insist you quit yours too. My partner automatically quit alcohol to support me when I decided I needed to quit for my health - I didn't even have to ask him to - it's an obvious thing to do for someone you love, because unless alcohol is a big part of your life, why should quitting be a major deal?

To best honest you sound incompatible with him and not that keen on each other anyway. I would call it a day.

In my experience this website attracts a disproportionately large amount of drinkers for some reason - often ones who appear to be in a lot of denial about their drinking. There is also often a conflation on here by many posters of morality and legality. Therefore I think it is no surprise a lot of replies are telling you that you are in the right and your boyfriend is a terrible man. But if you think it through logically, does that argument really make sense?

Good luck whatever you decide.

I was on the train earlier so IDK if my post went through, but weed does effect people, both in the short and long term.