Is 3 months into a new relationship too soon to declare love?

[Whereisautumn]

3 months into a new relationship. Absolutely head over heels! We have both said we are in love with each other. Already talking about moving in together next year.

We have actually known each other for 18 months prior to getting into the relationship.

My question is.... in your opinion is it all too soon? I.e expressing our love already? Or do you think sometimes if it's right you just know?

A little niggle in my head makes me think it's too good to be true and are we rushing?

Thanks ladies

[Afteropening]

please say neither have children?

[IsGoodIsDon]

I probably shouldn’t share but I moved in with my now DH after about 3 weeks, we said I love you’s very early on. And on Monday we are celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary and been together 17 years. Sometimes you just know.

I always tell my kids not to do what I did though!

[Whereisautumn]

@Afteropening

please say neither have children?

Why?

[Whereisautumn]

@IsGoodIsDon

I probably shouldn’t share but I moved in with my now DH after about 3 weeks, we said I love you’s very early on. And on Monday we are celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary and been together 17 years. Sometimes you just know.

I always tell my kids not to do what I did though!

Aww this is lovely! Thank you for sharing that, it has reassured me!

[Pinkbonbon]

I mean when you say you've 'known' eachother... in what way?

I mean if he was a mate that you saw weekly for 18 months before dating the thats different from him having been an acquaintance that you saw at the occasional party.

If its the former then I don't necessarily think 3 months is too soon. Because you've actually known him far longer.

If it's more like 'knew of and spoke too occasionally' before we got together then that's different.

[misssunshine4040]

Probably because you are in the hormone crazed and from what you have said so far,, may not be thinking rationally.
Your children might end up entangled by having a new adult move in that may not work out

[Welshexplorer36]

My partner and I told each other we loved each other after 4 months, and did feel it sooner! We’re still together and it’s going well, been together 20 months now

[DaughterNo2]

@Whereisautumn

Why?

So you do have children then🤷‍♀️

[girlyjim]

We said it after 3 weeks and been together 10 years in February.😊

[Whereisautumn]

To clarify to those who asked. There is one child involved, who also is familiar to the other one of us in the relationship.

[MidnightOnceMore]

@Whereisautumn

Why?

Because you are already talking about moving in which is potentially very unsettling for children if it goes tits up.

[Fizzadora]

Another one at 3 weeks here. That was in 1979 and we were 19 and had only just met. We just knew.
Still together. He's just cooked a lovely tea.

[Whereisautumn]

@girlyjim

We said it after 3 weeks and been together 10 years in February.😊

This is lovely!! Congratulations!

[Whereisautumn]

@Fizzadora

Another one at 3 weeks here. That was in 1979 and we were 19 and had only just met. We just knew.
Still together. He's just cooked a lovely tea.

Love this, it made me smile!

[Afteropening]

@Whereisautumn

Why?

oh dear

are you seriously asking whether it’s relevant if you have children or not and your talking about moving in together next year?

[Neveraga1n]

We said I love you before 3 months, we have now been together 22 years.

[Spacerader]

OP, it doesn't matter what others think. Do what feels right.

But if it makes yoh feel better me and my dh told each other we lived each ither after a month. We moved in togther after 4/5 months. We have been tigther almost 8 years and got married recently, and has been the easiest and most fulfilling relationship I have ever had. We both had two children each as well.

[Afteropening]

@DaughterNo2

So you do have children then🤷‍♀️

i really bloody hope not

[Simonjt]

We had both told we loved each other around the three month mark (oddly enough this didn’t cause my son to explode). A marriage. a second child and a move abroad later, we’re very happy and still very much love each other.

[Pinkbonbon]

Yeah I'd hold off on living together.

Give it another year and then maybe revisit that.
If there's a kid then you can't just jump in together so fast.

Also a word of caution (hopefully not relevant but just incase). 1 to 4 men in 100 are paedophiles. And a study online also found that 1 in 5 mean have been shown to have the capacity for paedophilic tendencies under 'certain circumstances' (what those are, who knows, was just some online thing but - fuuuuuuck!).

Apparently it's common on the dark web for thrm to encourage eachother to wait a whole year of grooming the mother before getting into anything kid related. So just be aware, if it's you that has the child.

Also...single dads commonly love bomb women because they're looking for a live in nanny.

No need to be blending households any time soon. If its real, why rush anything? Just have fun with it.

[PhoenixH7]

I was in a relationship with a guy for a year. He's currently with a new girlfriend he left me for, completely heartbroken and so alone.

We were together only 6 weeks before we said I love you, he said it first.

He kept our relationship a secret from everyone apart from a couple of friends and unless he lied his mum knew too bur I only met 1 friend once.
He was the perfect boyfriend at the start, not romantic which suited me but he was sweet, caring and supportive. As was throughout the whole relationship. He claimed to have depression, which I'm or sure now was true and he was going through a lot of stress woth his ex fiance, who je also allegedly cheated on, which was the reason she left him. He talked about her every day but I supported him. She only left him 3 months before he met me and we started our relationship very quickly. 3 months into the relationship he told me that between his ex fiance leaving and meeting me, he had already been casually sleeping with another woman. It suddenly got to a point where he would only come and see me once a week amd turned up late, unless we had plans which was either rare or he cancelled them last minute and on occasions just didn't turn up. He'd disappear for weeks, once it was 5 weeks and stopped talking to me. He always said he couldn't commit to much time with me and it wasn't fair on me but he stayed with me and was always out with his friends. If I got upset, he'd either ignore me or kick off. 2 weeks before he left, we had a great night out, took photos together and were so happy, so I thought. A week later was the same. 3 days before he left he was texting me but not much, told.me he loved me and he'll be back with me before I know it, we even had plans. The next day he was meant to come over but kicked off at me over text for no reason, ignored me completely for 2 days and then told me over text it was over. I've done found out all his friends told another woman he was single and they started to date behind my back, now they're together evey single day and happy. She still claims he was single and I never existed. So while they're happy and he gets away with cheating and treating me like dirt, I'm completely broken, with no support network and ststruggling i sit alone every day and wonder what it was I did so wrong and why I wasn't good enough. I wonder if he was emotionally abusing me with the way he was and how he kept snapping at me and if he is a narcissist, or if I'm just overthinking and overreacting.

Saying I love you very early can be a warning sign, one I now know I should have noticed. However, it's not always that way. My ex clearly neber loved me and he said it for his own personal gain but for me it was very real. If you truly feel that you and he are in love then it's not too soon and I hope it works out for you both.

[Kangarude]

I moved in with my now DH 8 weeks after meeting him. I had 1 DC. We have been together for 34 years. Sometimes you just know.

[itsmyp4rty]

It is very soon to say I love you, it's even sooner to be planning moving in together when there's a child involved. Knowing each other for 18 months beforehand makes it better but how well did you get to know each other over that 18 months? If it was only online or you barely saw/spoke to each other then it doesn't count for much. If you were really good friends and live nearby and saw a lot of each other then that's a bit different.

[BecauseTheWorld]

DH and I had moved in together by 3 months. Horses for courses.

[BecauseTheWorld]

Eta: no children involved we were in our 20s and my dog had already accepted him as one of our own.