Is 3 months into a new relationship too soon to declare love?

[Whereisautumn]

3 months into a new relationship. Absolutely head over heels! We have both said we are in love with each other. Already talking about moving in together next year.

We have actually known each other for 18 months prior to getting into the relationship.

My question is.... in your opinion is it all too soon? I.e expressing our love already? Or do you think sometimes if it's right you just know?

A little niggle in my head makes me think it's too good to be true and are we rushing?

Thanks ladies

I fell in love quickly with my ex husband, we got married and pregnant quickly, he turned out to be abusive and I've raised our child almost entirely on my own.
You on this thread who had this work out were lucky, you didn't have better judgement than those who ended up in bad situations.

Good point!

Well I was 34, I'm now 35 and he's 39, so lates thirties seemed applicable!

There will be a few people on this thread who say 'we told each we we loved each other after 3 days / 3 weeks / 6 week and we're still together 60 years on'.

Yes, that works for some people. There are also many, many, many, many more people who told each other they loved each other after 3 months and had fallen out by 5 months / 12 months, had moved on to someone else by then, had realied they didn't actually know each other, had realised the other one was abusive / unreliable / a cheat.

So yes, some people will 'realise' very soon.
Many, many more peopke will think they've realised that soon, but turn out to be wrong.

So just keep your wits about you. Don't commit to anything financial or legal for a good while, and certainly don't let your relationship affect your child in any way until you are much further down the line. It isn't fair to gamble with their feelings over something that you can't possibly know will last.

I knew on first date.
We said it around the 2 months mark.
Almost 5 years later and still madly in love but not living together yet.

We both have kids in secondary school with exams etc and didn't want to disrupt their lives. Once they leave school in another year and we are clear where everyone studying/working we will buy a house together.

Trust your gut and don't rush too quickly

I met my husband in the March we got married in the July
we are still happily married 25 years later
he was only supposed to be a one night stand 😂

Dunno if you realise, but you are on multiple threads being really sarcastic/pointlessly unkind on your responses. It’s as if you think you are perfect, or you’re dreadful at putting your thoughts into words. Just letting you know so you can choose to either continue being really awful to people asking genuine questions/having real problems, OR continue coming across as a bit of a thunderc*nt. Just try typing a response as if the person is in front of you and deserving of a human interaction, not a sneery one liner. Or ignore this message and I’ll just pray you don’t have kids because someone with so little empathy would be a dreadful parent.

Don’t engage. This poster is DESPERATE for OP interactions.

3 months to say I love you and to be discussing living together at an appropriate time is not mad. Good luck OP!

Similar story with me
Knew him through work for a few years
Fell head over heels and thought he had too
15 months later he totally pulled the rug. Ghosted me . Massively blind sided me and I'll forever have my guard up about these things now .

We got engaged after 6 weeks and that was 30 years ago - so no, I don’t think it’s always too soon.

I moved in with DH after about a month! We lied to our parents and said we had been dating for 6 months. We knew each other beforehand as we worked together and declared love very very early. When you know you know! Just celebrated 16 years of marriage and 19 years together!

I was going to say no, it's not too early.

But with a child involved then yes I think it is, especially for meeting the parents new partner and possibly living together.

We met in March, got engaged in August, were married in October, all in the same year. That was 27 years ago

calm down!

I knew my partner prior to us getting together through work but we moved in together after a few weeks and told each other we loved each other. Been together four years and getting married next year

My husband and I both officially ‘fell’ and said ‘I love you’ about three months in. We were kid free though and had been spending every day (outside work hours) together. We continued to spend every day together until moving in 7 months after meeting! The move was seamless… Have been together 11 years and married for 9. Expecting baby number 3 now- very happy!

I agree it’s different if you’re a parent because existing child‘s stability needs to come first - so no rushing moving in, married, or babies!

Because you should be treading more carefully in that case.

It’s too early to know for sure, because you don’t fully know each other.

two Weeks to say we loved each other
moved in around the 2 month mark
happily married for years

We got engaged after 4 months and married a year later. Been married almost 10 years now.

Depends on the circs, we were 35/40
and had no kids so low risk. Wouldn’t advise it to a 20 year old or where one party has kids though.

I have children. Met a man, madly in love within a month, moved in together after 4 months, engaged at 6. Now married and have a beautiful girl of our own. Never been happier, still love each other now as we did back then. And I don’t regret a minute. If I came on and asked mumsnet, I would have missed the love of my life,

When you say "I love you" doesn't matter. It really doesn't. There is no fixed emotion you can point to and say that right there is love, people experience it differently and want different things from it. If you feel what you feel after a few months it's no problem. I actually find the longer drawn out ones chime less with my own experience. If I don't know whether I'm in love after three or four months then I don't really see what I'll discover after another five months. But I also think you can fall in love and out of love, and that something can be real love even if it lasts a short time. So yes, I don't think it matters.

What does matter is keeping stability for children. Do not move in with a man you've only known for a short time if the child is yours. If the child is his and you want to start your own family I can see how it might be different.

If it's really true that you would have 'missed' him then he's not the love of your life. Why wouldn't he have waited?

We'd said it and moved in together by 3 months, we had known each other 3 years. We've been together over 10 years now.

Thank you very much 😊 love your username!

Me and my now DH said it around 4 months in BUT we only saw each once a week for 2 years, 3 months is way too soon to be talking about moving in with a child involved.