Is 3 months into a new relationship too soon to declare love?

[Whereisautumn]

3 months into a new relationship. Absolutely head over heels! We have both said we are in love with each other. Already talking about moving in together next year.

We have actually known each other for 18 months prior to getting into the relationship.

My question is.... in your opinion is it all too soon? I.e expressing our love already? Or do you think sometimes if it's right you just know?

A little niggle in my head makes me think it's too good to be true and are we rushing?

Thanks ladies

I sent a text message to the wrong number, moved in together after two months and ended up getting married

No way that's amazing!!

@Whereisautumn we also have 3 lovely children.

But .......I left him ten years ago after 15 years together 😁

my husband told he loved me from the first day 😝 we have been married 21 years, 3 children and very happy. I also moved in with him after a week so 🤣

My husband told me he loved me after three months. My response (I was taken aback) was to offer him a biscuit 😂. I think I said “In that case you can have a biscuit” and handed him the box.

He moved in with me about 5 months later. I was 25 and he was 27.

These stories are heartwarming ladies 😍

I was married three months after I met mine so no, I don't think it's too soon but it probably is if you're sensible.

Been married 25 years now. Half my life.

Would have been very very different if I'd had any children when we met. It changes things so much. You have responsibilities that must take priority over romance and you can't make rash decisions.

Threads like these always amaze me because everyone 'just knew' that they'd met 'the one'. With respect, surely everyone 'just knows' when they decide to move in, get married, have kids - what percentage of these relationships fail? Definitely more than than 50%. I'd never felt such intense feelings for a man in my life before I met my ex - I felt like I loved him within 2 weeks. I 'knew', so I moved in with him within 6 months. Yet I was a shell of my former self when I left the relationship - has taken me 3 years to recover

Stories of 50 year marriages after a whirlwind romance are lovely and heartwarming but you've got to acknowledge that these people were likely just lucky - their love working out was luck, rather than some higher power of knowing. Everyone 'knows' - but sadly far more people turn out to be wrong than right.

If there's kids involved, take it as slowly as you can. You'll lose nothing by taking it slow, but there's potential to cause a lot of damage by rushing!

My dh proposed after 6 months, we married 18 months later and we've been married for almost 25 years. We told each other we loved each other pretty quickly, a few weeks in. When your know, you know.

I think relationships moving on quickly and fast engagements etc are fine but not if children are involved.

My now ex H moved in with me after 6 weeks and we were together 5 months when we bought a house together. We were together 25 years.

My friend met a man at her 21st who told her it was love at first at sight and she was the woman he was going to marry. They’re now mid 50’s, 2 adult kids and still going strong.

There’s no right or wrong. No one can predict the future but if it feels right go for it

We said I love you on new years eve- we met on 30 November! That was in 2010, we bought a house in 2012, married 2016, still together (and emigrated in 2018).

For every 'if worked out for us' there is a 'he was love bombing me I didn't realise he was a narcissist'

Only time will tell but enjoy being in love and don't sign away your home just yet

*I can echo your statement in that we are both late thirties and have
been married before. So we aren't two lovestruck teens going into it
with no idea of real life.

I'm so glad it worked out for you!*

No you arn't love struck teens, you are middle aged love stuck divorcees, one with a child, who I should imagine is affected by the loss of one of his or her parents.

Couples don't normally go headlong after 3 months into I love you's and we're moving in together at the earliest possible time, when you're on your second go. You sound like a woman who can't wait for the dust to settle after two previous unions have ended.

These idyllic reponses from posters are generally younger single first loves you are hearing from who have made the grade but you are in a different situation and have responsibilities namely the child in this, it does seem like you have fallen hard , but maybe add in a little caution to this love affair.

Previous posters are just telling you to be grounded as there is a child involved, that's sensible.

It very possibly could be too good to be true. Impossible to know.

I assume you haven't had your first argument yet? You won't know how he deals with conflict and it could be a nightmare. Healthy communication and conflict resolution is a complete dealbreaker for me and it's impossible to know what that would be like until it happens.

Also do you know how he deals with stress? Some people can't/don't deal with stress very well at all and let it kill their relationships.

A few people have mentioned love bombing which is a possibility too.

So basically yeah at this point it's literally impossible to know if it's all too good to be true because it's the fun early stages of it. I wouldn't be rushing to move in together especially when there's a child involved until you really, really know him.

Which one of you has the child ?

We got engaged after 3 months. Still married ten years later.
Do what feels right.
It's not only three months really tho as you have known this man nearly 2 years really.

I think when there are children involved you have to be a lot more careful.

Everyone who moves fast 'just knows' and 'it feels right'
Very few people rush a relationship thinking this won't last or they aren't the one...
having a feeling about someone doesn't mean the relationship will last OR that they are a good person. It's very easy to fall in love, more difficult to stay there. It's easy to be in love when nothing has been tested by adversity.

We moved in together after 6 weeks.

It's a bit different if you are older and have responsibilities like children.

But certainly in my heady days no, not at all. Although true love develops over time.

Everyone deserves some fun and someone who cares about them.

Said it after a month. He decided to marry me on our second date.

We are a year in. He is my person and I have never doubted it for a moment.

I have a child though and we won't be getting married/ living together any time soon.

Maybe in 2 years? Maybe longer? Not entirely sure, just not any time soon.

I agree with this.

I stayed over at my DHs house on the first date & never left lol. These whirlwind romances do exist & can work.

I agree. These threads predictably bring out those people who have been spectacularly reckless and impulsive in their relationship choices, and got away with it! It's bit like posting "I played Russian Roulette and I lived to tell the tale - it never did me any harm so it's clearly a harmless game!"

However, if you've been with this guy a few months and you feel you love him then tell him. Love is a feeling at the end of the day, and that's how you feel. People make far too big a deal of being "in love" in my opinion, and often seem to believe that "being in love" equates with "everlasting future bliss", with the belief that if it doesn't lead to that then it can't have been "love". That's nonsense in my opinion.

It's perfectly natural to feel in love with someone after a few months - in fact, if you don't that could be a warning sign! However, the fact you feel in love doesn't mean you shouldn't be cautious in your decision making - in fact, because of the distorting impact of the "love hormones" it's even more important that you do engage your brain! The fact you've said that you don't plan to move in until next summer (assuming all continues as is) shows that you're doing this, and is good and healthy, unlike some posters who moved in on the day they met and married within a fortnight - that's not a sign of "true love", it's a sign of insane recklessness!