Is 3 months into a new relationship too soon to declare love?

[Whereisautumn]

3 months into a new relationship. Absolutely head over heels! We have both said we are in love with each other. Already talking about moving in together next year.

We have actually known each other for 18 months prior to getting into the relationship.

My question is.... in your opinion is it all too soon? I.e expressing our love already? Or do you think sometimes if it's right you just know?

A little niggle in my head makes me think it's too good to be true and are we rushing?

Thanks ladies

I had my first date with my husband on 12/27. I'm pretty sure we said the "L" word in January. We were engaged after dating 10 weeks. We've been married 26 years! Here's another one: my brother and SIL met in early September. They moved in together the first weekend they met. They were married three months later. They have been married 50+ years!

Thank you, this is lovely to read!!

Fantastic!

I despair with responses on here.

'We both have really poor boundaries, buy luckily it worked out!'

Aye OK. Stop it.
It's not cute. It's terrifying.

You don't see the replies from the women who became statistics on here. Because you know, they're dead.

Like seriously I'm happy for those who it luckily worked out for but please don't encourage people to think its ok to move in with someone they've just met!

The reason I asked why is I wondered if you had a follow up story to your question. The 'please tell me' made it sound like there was and it was a bad one 😱

I completely understand your comment, however by moving in next year I didn't mean January for example. But we thought perhaps over the Summer time when we will have been together a year or so.

We have met each others families too.

My husband and I said I love you after 2 weeks. Moved in together after 2 months. Got married within 2 years. When you know you know

Love these comments! Thank you!

DH and I were engaged within 5 months of our first date, and that was over 30 years ago. We just knew.

However, there were no children involved. Personally I don't think it's helpful for people with children to get too involved too quickly. One of my friends is lovely, but an incurable romantic. She has had 3 men in the last 4 years who have been "The One" and has introduced them to her kids, been introduced to their kids, and then it all goes horribly wrong. She's devastated but so are her (primary aged) dc.

All these we knew and moved in together after after X number of weeks etc is fine if you were single and didn’t have kids but if you have recently come out of a marriage or long relationship and have a child then it is very relevant.

A little niggle in my head makes me think it's too good to be true and are we rushing?

Why the rush? I had a fairytale romance, he said he loved me around 3 months in. I knew him for a year before through work. One child between us. I had a niggle that it was too good to be true as it honestly felt the best relationship ever.. compatibility was so high. All was good until I made a financial commitment, living together then the mask fell. I see why I got into that position but I now always, always trust my instinct. The signs were there but I didn't know the red flags...we appeared perfect together, until we weren't.

3 months after I'd met DH he moved in 'for lockdown'.

3.5 years later he is now DH and I'm 11 weeks pregnant.

That said, we had no prior kids involved and wouldn't have moved at the pace without the lockdown situation. He kept his own flat on for several months before we made it 'official' by him giving it up.

Talking about Moving In is not Moving in!!

We got together and I had children. He moved in 11 months later, we got married a year and a half after that and had a child together about 6months after that.

People may say it’s quick? But my children are extremely settled, happy and we have a good 50:50 co-parent relationship with my DC dad who lives 5 min walk away. Everyone gets along. It’s brilliant.

Obviously not the case for everyone

Btw. I didn’t have any ‘niggles’ though ( and I overthink everything!) And if I did things may have been different I

Actually I had bloody good boundaries in place hence making sure that the person I was letting into mine (and the kids) lives was in it for the long haul… we met and married within a year. And that was 16 years ago- my instincts were correct and I have absolutely no regrets. As a more mature person I knew what I wanted and so did he…

Sorry to hear this, how did his behaviour change towards you when you lived together?

My partner and I both said it after 10 days. I must admit I panicked thinking I'd lost my marbles but I still love him. More than I did then.

Me and my husband said it probably about 3/4 months in and I actually moved in at 7 months (although we had no children). Happily married for 5 years (together for 8) and still head over heels!

I can echo your statement in that we are both late thirties and have been married before. So we aren't two lovestruck teens going into it with no idea of real life.

I'm so glad it worked out for you!

Sorry to probably be a bit of an arse but...marrying someone you've known a year is not exactly good boundaries.

You maybe have excellent instincts and trusted them, fair enough. It worked out, brilliant.
But someone with excellent boundaries would have said 'you know what, I like him, but it's too soon to be marrying him because at 1 year in, chances are, all I've seen is him on his best behaviour. What's the rush?'.

Maybe thats a bit unfair as I know when we are older it's more common to marry a bit sooner than younger couples would. But a year...

Your instincts might be excellent but I dunno about those boundaries lol.

It doesn't really matter when you say I love you does it 🤷🏻 I don't know when any of my friends said it to their partners and they don't know about me. But moving in together especially with children involved I think needs to be talked about later than a mere 12 weeks of dating. You're still very much in the honeymoon phase in the first year, and surely if it's 'meant to be' holding out for another couple of years to move in won't make much difference?

you’ve aged! on your other thread a fortnight ago you are I am in my early thirties 😂

Us
Just celebrated our silver.

Do you know anyone who this did not work out for?

I can think of about 5 people (including me) off the top of my head. No lasting damage in my case, we were in our twenties, no kids, but I still from time to time wonder why he stopped talking my calls when it was all going so well.

Great it worked out for you but you were lucky.

there’s hundred, thousands… of threads where blended families are shit shows and it transpires that everything everything moved at lightening speed in the beginning and now there’s the consequences

That is why i hoped no children involved. especially as you are talking about moving in next year (which could even be 5 weeks away!)