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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Aibu to be upset about this, did he overreact?

215 replies

bandmdrama · 02/11/2023 00:04

Boyfriend of six months. I drove 10 miles earlier to pick him up and then another 6 miles to the car garage so he could pick his car up after being repaired. Afterwards he said he needed to go into b and m next door so I went in with him and picked up a couple of items that came to around 4 pound. When we were at the checkout I said oh can I just put these on yours as it's quicker. He said loudly where other people could hear that he is not a sugar daddy and he might as well have got an Uber as I was supposed to be saving him money by giving him a lift. I was embarrassed so I quickly left but I challenged him about it outside and said that he tried to embarrass me in public. He called me again on the way home and ranted to me that I had just seen him pay a large car repair bill and I should have more compassion and money doesn't grow on trees. By this point I was upset and I just said I would transfer him the four pound but he wouldn't accept that and then said it had been a joke. I feel so humiliated and upset and I'm seriously considering dumping him as surely this is likely to just be the start of his meanness?

OP posts:
Missymooo322133 · 02/11/2023 00:09

Yea major red flag. He could have paid the measley 4 quid at the very least. Bad enough he didn't offer petrol out of principle. This is a selfish man and he's shown you who he is, so do what you need to.

Seren00090 · 02/11/2023 00:10

In the bin!

fourplusfour · 02/11/2023 00:13

Another vote for bin him

PointlessAddiction · 02/11/2023 00:13

Jesus, over £4 when you’d done him a favour. Get rid!

larkstar · 02/11/2023 00:16

Have you seen how he treats his mother? Sounds like a spoiled teenager not an adult man.

blacksax · 02/11/2023 00:16

Shithead alert. Tight as a crab's arse as well.

Dump him.

RamblinRosie · 02/11/2023 00:17

You feel humiliated… he’s an asshole. You are worth more !

Mrsgreen100 · 02/11/2023 00:17

Dump his sorry arse NOW

AutumnFroglets · 02/11/2023 00:17

He expects you to run around after him.
He expects not to reciprocate.
He was spiteful and nasty.

Has he thanked you for the lift yet? I doubt it. Get rid of him OP otherwise your life will continue with you being upset and humiliated constantly. You saw the real him.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/11/2023 00:18

You would have to be a world-class idiot to ever speak to this fuckwit again. His mask has slipped, and I really hope you're not daft enough to stick around for more abuse. End that shit with a text, block him, and never look back.

blacksax · 02/11/2023 00:18

I'd have got in the car & driven off without him. Ungrateful bastard.

scaredofff · 02/11/2023 00:18

He's waving that red flag right in your face

MsDogLady · 02/11/2023 00:49

@bandmdrama, you did him a favor and were repaid with utter contempt. He got a buzz from humiliating you in public and continued in private. He’s taking you for a fool by trying to pass off his despicable behavior as a joke.

Sticking with this pig would be a form of self-harm.

thatwassociopathic · 02/11/2023 01:15

The last guy I went out with was an asshole but if the bill was £400 we'd have been arguing about him trying to pay it not the other way around. Please run you deserve and can get better

RantyAnty · 02/11/2023 01:20

Dump the mean tight arse.

Opentooffers · 02/11/2023 01:23

Why is it your job to save him money at your expense? Answer, it isn't!
Sounds like he's struggling to pay for himself and can't afford to date really, in which case, announcing to the world that he's not your sugar daddy was a total dick move. He's tight and blames others for his own shortcomings, not your problem that he's had to pay to fix his car, that's life.

Ladyluck22 · 02/11/2023 13:20

Dump him NOW

Muminthebluecoat · 02/11/2023 13:22

Dump him and never look back!

Serious red flags, you were doing him a favour which cost you much more than £4 in fuel and saves him much more than £4 in taxis!

Even if it were a bigger sum or he couldnt afford saying what he said loudly for people To hear is a red flag in itself! A quiet "sorry i don't have funds to cover that right now" would have done.

This is a sign of things to come so end it now.

WeHaveChocIcesInTheFreezer · 02/11/2023 13:23

Yep 100% dump him.

WhereDoYouGo1 · 02/11/2023 13:26

You were doing him a big favour that was costing you! What a horrible and petty man.

MamaBear4ever · 02/11/2023 13:27

You shouldn't even have had to ask, he could have easily offered given you had just given up your time and fuel to run around after him . Red flag

Bournetilly · 02/11/2023 13:28

Yes leave him, an Uber would cost a lot more than £4.
Even if he couldn’t afford it there was no need to embarrass you like that, he could of told you quietly or paid and told you after and asked for the money back (both of these are still cheeky considering he gave you no money for petrol but at least not humiliating).

VeridicalVagabond · 02/11/2023 13:28

Ew no absolutely bin him off. You've done him a massive favour and he thanks you via public humiliation? Nope.

Anyone who does something cruel, upsetting or humiliating and then tries to pass it off as "just a joke" when you try and tell them it hurt is just a cunt, plain and simple.

I personally would Venmo him the £4 with "this is me dumping you" and then block him on everything but I'm petty.

FlapSnacks · 02/11/2023 13:28
See Ya Adele GIF by E!

I’d be gone !

Vinrouge4 · 02/11/2023 13:29

It wasn't a joke though, was it? I would transfer the £4 to make a point.