I get this Saturday. I have been having doubts for a long time but because I have PMDD it is hard to see things clearly.
My DP puts every issue down to PMDD - he first tried to convince me I have BPD but I have started therapy and they have said no way. The thing is any issue I have, he says it's just hell week.
Anyway that's just some context on why I have let this drag on to this point.
But the wedding is racing closer and I don't know if I can do it. I had to take a diazepam last night things were making me so anxious.
Basically I was unwell on Friday so we didn't have sex. Then on Saturday I didn't really feel like it because he had been snappy all day. He even mentioned himself he had been agitated, that point is absolutely denied now though.
SO I didn't really want to but I knew if I said no again then he would be a nightmare and I wouldn't''t get any sleep. so we got started and he said I wasn't kissing him back enough and rolled away from me. I start to go to sleep and he comes back over to try again. (This is what I mean by not getting any sleep, this can potentially go on for hours with him "trying to stop himself, or having bad thoughts") so I try again but I still wasn't enthusiastic enough and he starts complaining I never want sex. I had enough so this time I said no and meant it and went to sleep ignoring him.
The next day he wakes up in a foul mood, ignores me when I tried to cuddle him, grunted at me when I said good morning and told me how mad he is about last night.
On and on the mood went - so I said - just go home and have a wank I can't bear this.
So he starts taking all of his things. I ask what aren't you staying tonight? To which he replies - I would rather stay home and wank then risk a third night of no sex.
Gosh sorry this is long!
Anyway we have been arguing since, he is saying it's all my PMDD and me wanting to call off the wedding is a typical over reaction. He denies saying about staying home to wank. He DID say it. I know he did and he knows he did.
He blocked me on whatsapp and now to add insult to injury he is saying I am talking to someone else because I have been online a lot.
I presume he means facebook because if I don't close down the tab it stays online which he knows because he has accused me of this before.
All our friends and family are so excited, they have gone to a lot of expense and effort for our wedding but I feel sick at the thought of it.