Don't think I can go through with Wedding

[WhereAreMyRunningShoes]

I get this Saturday. I have been having doubts for a long time but because I have PMDD it is hard to see things clearly.

My DP puts every issue down to PMDD - he first tried to convince me I have BPD but I have started therapy and they have said no way. The thing is any issue I have, he says it's just hell week.

Anyway that's just some context on why I have let this drag on to this point.

But the wedding is racing closer and I don't know if I can do it. I had to take a diazepam last night things were making me so anxious.

Basically I was unwell on Friday so we didn't have sex. Then on Saturday I didn't really feel like it because he had been snappy all day. He even mentioned himself he had been agitated, that point is absolutely denied now though.

SO I didn't really want to but I knew if I said no again then he would be a nightmare and I wouldn't''t get any sleep. so we got started and he said I wasn't kissing him back enough and rolled away from me. I start to go to sleep and he comes back over to try again. (This is what I mean by not getting any sleep, this can potentially go on for hours with him "trying to stop himself, or having bad thoughts") so I try again but I still wasn't enthusiastic enough and he starts complaining I never want sex. I had enough so this time I said no and meant it and went to sleep ignoring him.

The next day he wakes up in a foul mood, ignores me when I tried to cuddle him, grunted at me when I said good morning and told me how mad he is about last night.

On and on the mood went - so I said - just go home and have a wank I can't bear this.

So he starts taking all of his things. I ask what aren't you staying tonight? To which he replies - I would rather stay home and wank then risk a third night of no sex.

Gosh sorry this is long!

Anyway we have been arguing since, he is saying it's all my PMDD and me wanting to call off the wedding is a typical over reaction. He denies saying about staying home to wank. He DID say it. I know he did and he knows he did.

He blocked me on whatsapp and now to add insult to injury he is saying I am talking to someone else because I have been online a lot.

I presume he means facebook because if I don't close down the tab it stays online which he knows because he has accused me of this before.

All our friends and family are so excited, they have gone to a lot of expense and effort for our wedding but I feel sick at the thought of it.

This sounds awful now. It will get a hell of a lot worse when you are married and living together. Please stop the wedding for your own sanity x

Please do not marry this man not just for your sake but for your children's well-being as well.
He sounds like a absolute wanker.
Do not worry about what other people will think he is not ruining their lives.

I was told not to get married unless you couldn't believe your luck. It doesn't matter what the cause might be, if it doesn't feel right, don't get married. Speak to someone about it.

Unfortunately I think your last point is probably correct. OP I hope you feel able to come back and get support (if you want to come back of course) regardless of what's happened since your last updates. I hope you're doing OK.

OP you are feeling Ill because this man Is sexually and emotionally abusing you.
It doesn’t matter what family or anyone thinks about this guy ! Stop giving that thought power
He makes you Ill .
Listen to Your therapist and your gut

Speak to womens aid , your sister but put a stop to this farce of a wedding and put those running shoes on

Hi OP been thinking about you and hope you have stopped the wedding to save yourself and children.

Please call it off

@WhereAreMyRunningShoes please let us know how you are getting on.

There's a lot of concern here for you. Even if you do go through with it, don't feel like you can't come back and tell us.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you, as many are. You're in our thoughts lovely.

Echoing others here to say I hope you're ok @WhereAreMyRunningShoes

Hi OP how are you getting on?

I hope everything went well with telling your guests etc and that you’re feeling ok.

Never too late to stop it OP. Thinking and hoping for you.

Also thinking of you OP. No matter what you decide, we would like to hear that you are okay!

We’re all thinking of you, OP 💐

It's not too late, OP.

I hope you've decided not to marry this nasty man.

Thinking of you @WhereAreMyRunningShoes
💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

I see I'm not the only one checking in, hoping @WhereAreMyRunningShoes hasn't gone through with it!

@WhereAreMyRunningShoes

I hope you cancelled the wedding. But if not, remember that you can leave a marriage at any time for any reason.

And don't be afraid to come back for support if you need it. We have all done things we felt weren't in our best interests. And many people have gone through with weddings they knew they shouldn't, myself included.

Thinking of you @WhereAreMyRunningShoes . Please feel free to update here or make a new thread etc if you need it at some point. x

WhereAreMyRunningShoes I hope you're okay, the talk with your family went well, and you're in bed eating that wedding cake!

@WhereAreMyRunningShoes

Another post willing you to have cancelled your wedding and finished things with this man.

Please please don't marry this guy, run run away he sounds horrific, the sex bit is stomach churning, really really that's not OK, god what a vile human.

Jesus Christ!

Omg I need to know what happened

Reader, she married him.

Sadly I think her absence from this thread points to that outcome