THOUGHTS ON PARTNER WATCHING PORN

[Chantelle2019]

What is everyone's thoughts on your partner watching porn even though you do not agree with it?

Personally I don't care. But you framed the question as what would I think if I did care - I think that as long as he did it away from me and I didn't have to see or know about it, then I could live with that.

Similar to someone not sticking to a vegetarian diet when their vegetarian partner is not around, I guess.

It's a deal breaker for me. Same with drugs. If you are getting your rocks off with a product forged in an industry which drips with extreme levels of exploitation and violence then I've got no truck with that.

No, they don't

It may be 'legal' but how do you know whether the 'actors' are being exploited or not?

@Nanny0gg - You don’t know. But likewise you don’t know in mainstream films and media etc, hence the Me Too movement.

We can only hope that where there is a problem, it is called out..

I'm not entirely sure that trafficked women are ever able to 'call it out'...

@Nanny0gg Films from big named American studios etc with American actors, Northern European actors or British actors I believe are unlikely to be trafficked. I know it can happen, I am not naive enough to believe it is not possible, but the same can apply to the clothes you are wearing or some of the food in your fridge.

I'm female. I watch it all the time. DH knows and isn't bothered. Don't know if DH watches it, he's s too shy to tell me. Don't have a problem if he does watch it. I don't watch it to see cock/blokes

It would be an absolute deal breaker for me. I wouldn't want to share my life with someone who got off on watching potentially abused and/or exploited women.

@DatingDinosaur "Let them get on with it. Stops them pawing at me when I'm not in the mood."

Well, he's be out the door before we even got as far as the porn!

I wouldn't have a relationship with someone who did that. It's misogynistic so beyond vile.

Possibly if it were feminist porn and we watched it together, though it's not my thing so that's unlikely to happen (just imagining if it were ever possible, perhaps if we both felt our sex life needed aid one day and thought that might help, though I can't see it myself).

They really don't. It's not only sad that you think that, but it supports and enables misogyny by perpetuating sexist myths. Very insulting to men who find porn objectifying, misogynistic and exploitative and who have ethical principles they stick to, too.

Deal breaker for me. I don’t want a man in my life who gets his cheapies banging off to imagery that is misogynist at best.

I would be more concerned if my partner read the Daily Mail!

Is there any logical connection between misogyny and pornography I can't see any. To admire the beauty of female form and observe the wonders of human evolution that's a true feminism to me.

This. I was in a relationship for 25 year and he repeatedly hid porn from me, when caught he would say i wont watch anymore...on 3 occasions. He knew about my view on pornography, trafficking, abuse and all that's linked.
The issue was he broke my trust and lied everytime about it. He also started to have ED...linked to porn usage.. and didn't want sex. My daughter found history on his p.c when DGS wanted to show her something on net. i never went through his phone or anything, it was found accidentally. That's where i ended it, cant have grandson around that. When discovered i did look in his laptop, he was going on for hours at a time, and even when i was away helping mum with her partners funeral. I was distraught.
Everyone is different, but i wont tolerate porn in my house or from anyone im with now..if i find theyre using, i will end it the first time i discover, because theyll know thats my boundary from outset.
Incompatibility... He wants to, other person doesnt. No one is right, but it would be a mismatch relationship if you both disagree. Its the lies that kill the trust, therefore the relationship

This allover!

and observe the wonders of human evolution that's a true feminism to me

🤣🤣🤣 Yeah that's the true epitome of female human evolution, all played out there on screen, right? Emerging from the primordial soup, through all the permutations until homo erectus, eventually homosapien just revealed for the consumer while they wank off watching other people fucking.

I don't think porn has any part in a relationship. For example I wouldn't want my husband to either be getting his kicks to porn or using porn to wind him self up sexually and them using me as his flesh light

Agreed. You were specific and clear, and he broke your trust. It's not about the porn. It's about the lying. If it were about smoking, and a partner were lying and hiding the fact that they were smoking, people wouldn't call the one objecting to it a prude or anything like that. He knew it was a boundary for you and he broke it. No matter what someone thinks of porn, everyone is allowed to have a say in how they are treated.

If you find a woman dumb enough to believe that you are watching porn to "admire the beauty of the female form," please ensure she is not driving or doing anything that requires critical thought. She will hurt herself. 😂

'You should have a gangbang with me and my friends. We love to admire the female form. That's feminism, allowing yourself to be used like a sex toy."

And now I can see why only few women consider themselves to be a feminist.
Absolutely pathetic.

This post is about trust. The topic which I don't want to go into.
However I don't understand why people say pornography is mysogynistic. In what way? You admire female beauty the same way you watch ballet. In the raw and natural form.
The same way you admire woman's intellect when you watch Margaret Thatchers interviews. Or women's charisma when you see Julia Robert's laugh.

Is it not about evolution anymore? 😢

Surely it depends how important it is to you?

Are you clear what your reasons are? If you know why you disagree with it you can know how much it matters for you.

Also, how far in to the relationship are you? Is this a 10 year relationship and you have bee ok with it for years? Or is this someone who you have been with for a few months and you have always had an issue with it? If it is the latter perhaps you should end things if this is going to be a point of friction for you?