THOUGHTS ON PARTNER WATCHING PORN

[Chantelle2019]

What is everyone's thoughts on your partner watching porn even though you do not agree with it?

We have GOT to get this messaging away from young girls. It's so damaging and self serving. It's by far and away one of the more vile things men have used to convince women to act against their own interest, second only to "submission is your natural state, you'll be happier if you let me 'lead' you."

You forgot to add: We should stop girls driving cars because it's dangerous. Drinking alcohol and smoking. This "fantasy land" does exists. Welcome to Afghanistan!

This.

I assume the poster is a man, sick of the uptick in men on MN derailing these kind of threads in this kind of way.

I have a big issue with lying about it and hiding it - and then trying to make out that you aren't interested in it and think it's awful (I've experienced this with my H) and he still doesn't know that I know it's multiple times a week- most days- I've always been able to access the logs on our router. To be frank I'm beyond giving a shit- but the lying pisses me off- and it's an almighty turn off too on my part.- I find it hugely disrespectful and I know plenty of other women do too-

Umm, well, obviously what you suggest is misogynistic, as you're not mentioning the beauty of the male form: the male gaze is itself misogynistic because it inherently others and denies the subjectivity of the female.

No, because the fact that some somen willingly support and take an active part in objectification of women doesn't make it at all acceptable to objectify women.

I personally do not know what there is to agree or not agree with? I consider it a private issue. Unless there's some reason to be concerned.. like it's effecting my sex life with someone or I think they have some kind of addiction to it, or I think it's effecting the way they treat me etc.. then I'd have a discussion about it.
But other than that I'd consider it invasive to ask.
But it's important for people in a relationship to be on the same page. If your partner not watching porn is important to you then you should find someone who shares that view.
I do think it's unreasonable to find a partner who does not share that view then try and force it on them though.
If a partner asked me to stop watching porn I'd end the relationship tbh because I'd consider that invasive and controlling. (Unless it was for the reasons I discussed earlier but it wouldn't be for me because I do not really watch a lot of porn and it doesn't interfere with my sex life whatsoever)

Telling women not to drive is just another way for men to control where we go. ALL of that is about CONTROL. It's about pushing us down and treating us like property.

My question wasn't meant to antagonise, merely determine the grounds on which people objected. It's not a big sample, but it seems fairly evenly split between those who objects because of jealousy/potential infidelity, objectification, or 'provenance' of the girls.

Sad to say, objectification is a huge money earner for women, something that men can't even scratch the surface of in terms of parallel careers. Do you see it differently to athletes and singers etc? These too are people cashing in on physical attributes that others weren't given. Those girls on Only Fans make sometimes millions... they are free to stop at any time.

I'm not actually conveying my own opinions here, simply curious about your views.

I don't see it as similar to athletics or singing, because neither of those have as their basis the misogynistic objectification of one sex by the other; nor is the purpose of athletics or singing the sexual gratification of one sex at the expense of the other.

I don’t see the problem and watch it myself💕

Umm, well, obviously what you suggest is misogynistic, as you're not mentioning the beauty of the male form: the male gaze is itself misogynistic because it inherently others and denies the subjectivity of the female.

Absolutely brilliant logic: To admire women's beauty is somehow misogynistic and to admire men's beauty is somehow misandristic. So if you watch beautiful people making love you have to somehow hate both of them.
I do try to understand this quasi-religious views of misogynistic objectification and every time the picture of Taliban comes to mind. Let's hide women behind vale so that other people can't judge her.
The whole idea of feminism is to give women power to decide her fate. It's not for you or me to judge the girls who decide to have a career in the adult film industry.

Making love ? 😂😂😂😂

Love the idea that men watch porn to admire the true beauty of the female form! 🤣🤣🤣

@Martin83 " It's not for you or me to judge the girls who decide to have a career in the adult film industry"

Absolutely it isn't. It is for you and me to judge the appalling, exploitative, dangerous industry though.

Oh, and they aren't "making love" you sweet naive fool!

But it is so beautiful love making!
The gagging, strangulations, gaping anus - now tell me that is not female beauty to the core!
And slapping and hitting, my gosh, there’s a female form in it’s natural state!
Female empowerment, don’t you talubans tell women what they can and can not do 😡🤬

So you obviously watch PORN yourself then ?.

Yes, that's what men become addicted to, the beauty. That's why you can see them all lined up for hours each week at the uffezi gallery, gawping at the Birth of Venus, just wishing it was acceptable to show their true appreciation by dropping their keks and having a wank. Thanks Botticelli 👍

No, I certainly do not.

Then how do you know so much about it ?.

What kind of question is this? Are you aware that people have a great amount of knowledge on all sorts of things outside of their own experience? That entire shelves are filled in academic libraries on porn, on it's form, ethics, industrial practices etc? Outside of that there's the mass media and, brace for it, talking to people.

I expect that there's a great number of things that I consume that others might not but still happen to know far more than I do about it.

This is a really individual thing and my own view is that if you are in a committed relationship then ok- providing you are both on the same page, are both ok with it and it's all out in the open , not hidden and that everyone knows it's not just images of nudes/ semi nude people .

The thing is I think many women are blissfully unaware (or in some cases don't care anyway) of exactly what is out there being viewed, the fact that to make it pay most of the big sites are full of constant adverts for hookers, free hookup sites, webcam sites , gambling and other such stuff and that most content offered is extremely hardcore and some dubious but very viewed sites offering 'real life' uploads - (and no guarantee people are always aware of being filmed or uploaded)

If your partner watches it then these sites have massive 'tracking' cookies whether they private browse or not and will have a spam box full of and texts from people offering 'services'

So what are you saying, that this person's comments were based on academic study or just hearsay?.

I read and listen to everything from feminism, human trafficking, human rights, news to interviews from former sex workers. Those things get explicit.
I’ve also listen to women who have partners that have lost themselves into porn.

Or in the content of the mass media, books, documentaries, newspapers, or podcasts or in commons debates, whatever, there's a whole world out there.

Yes, it’s not exactly a secret anymore how vile, abusive and misogynystic the industry is.

Porn watchers can tell themselves what ever they have to to, and pretend like they are good people, but reality is they are part of the problem.