THOUGHTS ON PARTNER WATCHING PORN

[Chantelle2019]

What is everyone's thoughts on your partner watching porn even though you do not agree with it?

I guess it depends whether it's a deal breaker for you or not?

If you don't agree with it, then you don't agree with it?

It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks - everyone will have their own thoughts and boundaries.
What matters is how YOU feel about it. If it’s something you’ve discussed with your OH and they’ve continued despite you expressing a dislike about it - the next move is up to you.
Either accept that they will choose this behaviour despite your feelings - or end the relationship.

If they'd rather upset you than go without watching it, it's a problem.

I'd leave him to his 'other' women and I'd be off...

Ive never knowingly been in this situation but it wouldn’t bother me as long as they were honest about it.

The point is you don't agree with it. If my partner didn't want me watching porn, I wouldn't; and would expect him to do the same if I had that boundary.

I don't care. What he does to his own body is none of my business and we also watch it together.

Let them get on with it. Stops them pawing at me when I'm not in the mood.

I think the why you don't agree with it is missing here? Are you against solo masterbation? Or is moral reason? If there's no actual reason and it's not excessive where it's impacting your life and relationship then I think it's not fair if it's just to impose your opinion on others so id be ok with it.

If you don’t agree with then you don’t agree with it.
Is it a deal breaker FOR YOU?

Porn is horrible, misogynystic industry.
I won’t rant too much, but for the life of me I can’t understand anyone supporting it, unless you really hate women and girls.

But anyway, what are the reasons YOU don’t like it?

Totally understand why you wpuldn’t want to be with someone who watches it, it’s a deal breaker to me. And a sign of a true misogynystic person.

If "no porn" is a standard that you want to set in a relationship, you have every right to set that parameter. If you were clear that's a dealbreaker for you, and your partner does it anyway, that denotes a lack of respect and love for you.

If you set a clear boundary, and your partner does not respect it, you are not the one responsible for breaking the trust, they are. Your choice is to live with that lack of respect and trust, or don't. Doesn't matter if it's porn or anything else.

You are allowed to have standards, and so is your partner.

Not a deal breaker for me.. as long as it wasn't affecting our sex life and it was in moderation

Nope it's a deal breaker for me.

I am not ok with him masturbating to potential rape and rape in the industry is common place. I don't really have a problem with porn if the person / people making it is definitely 100% consenting and it is bought direct from them and they are paid properly for it, but then we are in a monogamous relationship, so I would consider it cheating for him to be paying for something off another women instead of asking me whilst making me insecure about my body on the process. So basically I think ethical porn is cheating and non-ethical porn is problematic and it would give me the major ick. When we first talking about it he said he enjoyed the visual stimulation and once our relationship was long term established and I was sure I trusted him i pretty much said I was happy to provide that myself if he wanted, so tbh he has absolutely zero reason to watch it and so if I found out he was I would feel so disrespected it'd be a deal breaker for me.

I wouldn't appreciate someone watching it all the time or choosing to do it instead of being intimate, but if they wanted a quick shufty and this worked for them, I really couldn't get worked up about it.

I see it similarly to sex toys, I guess. If a partner tried to tell me off for having an afternoon wank because I was bored, I'd not be best pleased.

Im fine with it. Not really my cup of tea, but each to their own.

Rules are for others, boundaries are for yourself. Rules are restrictions you put on another person.
Boundaries are restrictions you place for yourself to keep yourself from harm.

“No porn” isn’t a rule you can set really. If someone wants to watch porn then that’s up to them. But a boundary is you saying you won’t be with someone who watches porn. Perfectly valid.

Doesn't bother me. I know my husband watches it, he's quite open about it. I think most men watch it to be honest, and if they know their girlfriend or wife doesn't like it they will just hide it from them. They will still watch it.

As long as it’s legal, non violent and not interfering with my own sex life or day to day life it would not bother me.

To dictate to someone else about what they can watch is somewhat controlling.

And yes, as a woman l’ve watched porn from time to time.

It's a very naive view. Every men watches pornography.

That’s not true though.

It's a very naive view. Every men watches pornography.

Funny how it's NAMALT for some things, but not for this.

Agree with @StarlightLady

Both my wife and I watch porn - not often, particularly, and it doesn't affect our sex life or anything else negatively. Doesn't bother either of us, not that we are in the habit of asking each other details of our respective wanks.
However you are entitled to not want to be with someone who does.

I wouldn't care