THOUGHTS ON PARTNER WATCHING PORN

[Chantelle2019]

What is everyone's thoughts on your partner watching porn even though you do not agree with it?

if you don't agree, you don't agree and it's not OK. I don't mind as long as it doesn't affect our relationship, I do it to

If a partner told me that they didn’t agree with porn and they expected me to not watch it, I’d genuinely laugh. I’d still watch it because it’s my choice, my eyes and my own body!

If you don’t agree with porn then you can’t stop someone else from watching it. You can decide how to react so as pp say, if it’s a deal breaker then I guess you end the relationship and move on. No amount of talking to them or getting them to see your viewpoint would work I don’t think

I didn't mind my ex watching it.

But it slowly started impacting our sex life as he almost wanted me to recreate it for him and it got really uncomfortable. We couldn't just have nice sex as he was demanding and coercive about it. His requests became more and more extreme and he then started to strangle me during sex. The ex before me said the same.

He is now with someone a fraction of his age and it gives me shivers to think of what he is doing to her.
My ex probably has an addiction, which most men won't.

I guess it's like most things...everything in moderation.

Do you not agree with it in general or do you specifically not want him watching it, OP?

I don't like the mainstream industry, I don't like watching porn because I find it ugly and icky and it doesn't do anything for me but I also don't mind that DH watches it sometimes. I don't feel it has anything to do with me or our relationship much.

I have a few thoughts on it.

If you specified at the start you were anti-porn and it was a dealbreaker and they lied and said they didn't watch it then that's a huge betrayal.

I don't think it's as straight forward if the person always watched porn, wasn't aware it was a dealbreaker and then later in the relationship it causes issues because you don't want them watching it *

If I had a partner who tried to make out I was some kind of morally disgusting pervert because I watched porn I'd be furious.

If he said it was a dealbreaker at the start and I lied and said I didn't watch it then I wouldn't/couldn't be furious because I would have betrayed him.

*It's different if the porn is an addiction or causing death grip etc or influencing the sex negatively. Of course it can affect sex negatively if porn use affects a persons body image/self esteem but often that is a you issue rather than a them issue.

Also it does depend on the type of porn watched. I would be disgusted by anyone watching rough porn with barely legal girls etc.There was a netflix show called 'hot girls wanted' which documented this and it would break your heart.

i couldn't give a flying shit. its our 21st anniversary next year and got 3 kids. I just don't put importance in such unimportant things. Men do it...some women do it...no big deal.

jesus 🤪

Did you type this with a straight face?

I watch porn, but to say you don't see any logical connection between misogyny and pornography is nonsensical, do you have a working brain? A huge amount of is incredibly misogynistic as you well know so don't talk shit 😆

No one (except you apparently) watches porn to observe the wonders of human evolution 😂😂

Im not even going to go into it...its too long and not got evergy today .Look up negative effects porn vs positive.

I'm curious, would your view change if he watched porn from a legitimate source?.. I.e. where women chose their profession and were paid properly with unions etc etc?

@C1N1C "I'm curious, would your view change if he watched porn from a legitimate source?.. I.e. where women chose their profession and were paid properly with unions etc etc?"
It's a bit of an academic question because I don't believe such a product exists. But I suppose I wouldn't mind. Although I'd probably think it was a bit pathetic.

@C1N1C Actually, I think I would mind. I don't think porn is good for individuals or for society.

This might come as a shock to many me being male, but I'm very much against porn,at the end of the day that is someone's daughter or son,and the sites today well some of the well known sites the treatment of women and young girls in some cases leaves a lot to be desired a big no from me

how would you know if you are against it and don't watch it?

Because of highly published campaigns in the media that's how I know

@jolaylasofia "how would you know if you are against it and don't watch it?"

Oh, don't be silly.

However I don't understand why people say pornography is mysogynistic. In what way? You admire female beauty the same way you watch ballet. In the raw and natural form.

Even mainstream porn sites are littered - on their main page - with videos that feature rough, degrading sex .... and tonnes of anal - which raises unrealistic expectation/pressure on women. And loads of incest scenarios.

None of these are positive for women and girls.

You seem to be on some delightful utopian porn site that I've never encountered.

the same way you watch ballet

Pmsl.

Endless dicks going in and out of orifices - porn is generally so incredibly penetration focussed - ..... The same as a form of dance that incredibly skilled dancers train for years to be able to do, to music by talented composers, choreographed by skilful professionals; it's one the the most refined expressions of humanity .... while porn expresses the baseness of humanity. Are you taking the piss, that's all I can think of.

Doesn't bother me. I watch it. He watches it.

A fact is a fact.

I'm not a "cool wife" but I genuinely wouldn't mind if it was an occasional thing. If they watched it obsessively and it interfered in our relationship then I wouldn't like it.

ohhh that truth telling fountain of knowledge "the media" 🤭

I would agree with you the internet age has created some very low quality pornography. Some of which is catered for extremely weird fantasies and fetishes. The golden age where films were made with skilful acting and big budgets are gone. But to deny pornographic expression natural human beauty is being totally blind.

Over the past 175 years women have fought for the right to use her body the way she sees fit. And to deny her this basic right is a misogyny in the purest form.

🙄

"Being used as a c%# dumpster is empowering."

We have GOT to get this messaging away from young girls. It's so damaging and self serving. It's by far and away one of the more vile things men have used to convince women to act against their own interest, second only to "submission is your natural state, you'll be happier if you let me 'lead' you." 🙄