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Original poster

I don't like what I heard

184 replies

Fassbender2020 · 28/09/2023 17:12

My partner and father of my children had a female friend over today. I've been suspecious of them before but he assured me nothing was going on and he'd never leave our children

Anyway, today I was having a nap and overheard something I didn't like. She asked him why he was being weird hugging her differently here and he said what do you mean and she said you aren't hugging me properly like we normally do, you're giving me weird one arm hugs, and sitting away from her and what's wrong with you. It was jokey tone wise but it was obvious she sounded genuine confused. He just got flustered and said nothing and then it just went quiet.

I don't know what to think. Well maybe I do but what does anyone else think?

OP posts:
Nuttyroche · 28/09/2023 17:18

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Nuttyroche · 28/09/2023 17:18

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Original poster
Fassbender2020 · 28/09/2023 17:18

That's not very nice to find it funny?

OP posts:
Specso · 28/09/2023 17:18

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Was just about to type the exact same thing but you beat me to it.

Original poster
Fassbender2020 · 28/09/2023 17:21

Yes, id been up with our 9 month old so me and the baby had a nap. I'm on maternity leave

I said I had suspicions, not have. Then heard that

I came here for support so that seems cruel to laugh at me

OP posts:
Nuttyroche · 28/09/2023 17:22

When he said she was coming over

did you ask why?

Nuttyroche · 28/09/2023 17:23

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Specso · 28/09/2023 17:24

It’s not funny, just a little odd to decide to take a nap when your partner is in the other room with a woman you have suspicions about.

Why are you suspicious about her? If it’s for a valid reason and you’ve previously discussed it with him and then he has her over and is hugging her etc in your house then he’s being disrespectful.

Regardless of whether it’s shady or not, if you don’t trust him then it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.

Milliondollars · 28/09/2023 17:25

I think you should tell him what you overheard and ask him for an explanation.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 28/09/2023 17:31

You're going to have to have it out with him and tell him what you've heard - prepare yourself for the conversation and don't be fobbed off if you're not satisfied with his response.

In my opinion, spidey senses are rarely wrong especially if you've had cause for concern before, with the same woman.

Original poster
Fassbender2020 · 28/09/2023 17:34

I have but it's been a couple of years. She's perfectly nice to me and makes conversation whenever I've seen her and shes good to the children

I just don't understand why he would hug her differently at our house than anywhere else

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 28/09/2023 17:40

He assured me nothing was going on and he'd never leave our children

What about you?

It sounds like a weird convo. All you can do is ask him. and/or her.

Original poster
Fassbender2020 · 28/09/2023 17:46

I just need a few hours to think it over I think. When I brought it up a few years ago he said she was his best friend and nothing was going on

He's absolutely lovely to me and couldn't do more so I don't want to argue if I don't have to. I also don't know what he'd say if I did ask as he didn't reply to her why either. I'd probably just get a I don't know what she means. So that would be useless?

OP posts:
Seaoftroubles · 28/09/2023 17:46

Really OP? Why is he hugging her at all, let alone differently? If you already had your suspicions l am surprised you left them alone together and went off for a nap, even if you did feel tired.
It seems an odd thing to do when you have a visitor.

NeedTheSeaside · 28/09/2023 17:47

I just don't understand why he would hug her differently at our house than anywhere else

yes you do, you just dont want to believe it!

I'm sorry he's being such as arse, now it's up to you whether to tell him
to fuck off or not.

SisterMichaelsHabit · 28/09/2023 17:48

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Do you have any advice ever for anyone because I've noticed you all over MN just trying to pick holes in OPs repeatedly.

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 28/09/2023 17:49

Why are they hugging in the middle of the day in the middle of your house??

And then talking about it loudly enough for you to hear?

This is a bit mad.

I wouldn't put up with this (if genuine)

Original poster
Fassbender2020 · 28/09/2023 17:49

As I said, I haD suspicions, not have. Until that weird conversation I heard

He's hugging her because she's his friend, I don't care about that, just the difference. It should be the same here or wherever else

OP posts:
SisterMichaelsHabit · 28/09/2023 17:49

OP it sounds like he has quite an affectionate relationship with her usually and maybe he was trying to tone it down in front of you. Whether that's something to worry about or not depends on how you feel about the situation. I'd talk to him if I were you and see what he says.

Nuttyroche · 28/09/2023 17:49

SisterMichaelsHabit · 28/09/2023 17:48

Do you have any advice ever for anyone because I've noticed you all over MN just trying to pick holes in OPs repeatedly.

Show quote history

What thread are you referring to?!

MariePaperRoses · 28/09/2023 17:49

Why didn't you leap out of bed and run in the room and ask them about these 'hugs'?

threecupsofteaminimum · 28/09/2023 17:50

Playing devils avocado here but could she have said that knowing it was within earshot on purpose?

Cheeesus · 28/09/2023 17:50

Crikey, how much do they need to hug?

Original poster
Fassbender2020 · 28/09/2023 17:51

Why are people laughing about me and saying if genuine?? It's really upsetting. I'm on maternity leave and I'm tired and vulnerable. I went to sleep on the sofa with our baby. I don't understand what is weird about this but if you don't like my post, please just leave me alone and nit upset me more

OP posts:
Nuttyroche · 28/09/2023 17:51

Even the fact that he invited someone over who his partner in the past has been so worried about that he’s had to reassure her that he won’t leave their children…. Speaks volumes about his character