Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating Thread 243

1000 replies

VenturingOut80 · 27/09/2023 08:55

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

  1. Develop a thick skin.
  2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  4. Trust your gut instinct.
  5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  6. Know your worth.
  7. If it's not fun, stop.
  8. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

OP posts:
Original poster
VenturingOut80 · 27/09/2023 09:00

@qqq82 I hope you don't me starting a new thread? I can't see that a new one has been created since 242 filled up.

OP posts:
Original poster
VenturingOut80 · 27/09/2023 09:01

@Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse
@NellyTheCake
@Birthdayblu
@NervesOfCotton
@GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife

OP posts:
NervesOfCotton · 27/09/2023 09:07

Thank you VenturingOutSmile

I was just looking to see if there was a new thread.

NervesOfCotton · 27/09/2023 09:20

So I'll get straight into it. My date for today randomly unmatched me yesterday. Last night I got chatting to a new one & he made a joke about having the next few days off work, if I wanted to meet.

So I said 'I know you are joking but I'm free tomorrow (didn't tell him why) so do you want to just do it?'... So we are meeting at 10 at my favourite park, for a walk.

I'm nervous but also exited.

Original poster
VenturingOut80 · 27/09/2023 09:30

@NervesOfCotton that is truly shit to unmatch and not say anything. Better off without him. How exciting about the last minute arrangement though, let us know how it goes.

OP posts:
NervesOfCotton · 27/09/2023 09:41

Thank you VenturingOut, I did a bit of the 'What did I say? Why did he unmatch me?' to myself, & then I managed to squash those thoughts & move on, QuicklyGrin

I've never been this impulsive with arranging a date before!

NellyTheCake · 27/09/2023 09:47

I had date 2 with Mr Disappearing last night. He was more relaxed and chatty. I feel I got to know him a bit better.
But it was still quite awkward. Especially at the end. We both kind of just goodbye and went out seperate ways.

I did message him later to say I had a good time. And we've agreed to meet again. But I've discovered he works most weekends so that could be an issue.

He's nice and normal (for a change!) but not sure I can see him as more than a friend.

NellyTheCake · 27/09/2023 09:49

NervesOfCotton Spontaneous date! How exciting.
Hope it goes well

Original poster
VenturingOut80 · 27/09/2023 10:13

@NellyTheCake are you attracted to him? He sounds shy so maybe you need to be a bit more direct with him (if you want to be). I think knowing how to end a date is super awkward. When I met Mr Dull he leaned in like he was going to kiss me and I practically fell over backwards to get away, waved and walked off :) That was an awkward moment but it didn't matter as I didn't want to see him again.

OP posts:
Thisisworsethananticpated · 27/09/2023 11:02

Placemarking

I like the lack of a jaunty title too

simple ,bold

no reference to 🍂

alloalloo · 27/09/2023 11:16

I've name changed and missed reading the thread for a bit. I met someone through OLD and we've been together now about eight months and it's going well but I'm very insecure and have no self esteem, so really struggling with that. I wish there was a workbook to gain some self confidence!

Anyway I'm looking forward to reading how everyone is doing.

Mollymolloy · 27/09/2023 11:29

Morning all….. advice needed please…
So, date no 4 with Mr C. I went to his last night with the mutual intent on DTD. I had been to his place before but, when I got there, he was really cagey, which I put down to nerves.
After a lovely evening, we went upstairs and the assumption was that we would have unprotected sex. He was sorely mistaken!
He said that he didn’t think that he needed a condom as he had ‘been done’. He also said that he started giving blood a few years ago (I also give blood but, for different reasons) so that he could check that he didn’t have any ‘nasties’. It seemed very odd as his house is absolutely spotless and had a shower before we went to bed. He seemed ultra health conscious.
Being that he was supposedly in an 8 year relationship previously, I can’t see the need to give blood so that he could get ‘checked out’. He has also implied (but, I may be wrong) that he has been unfaithful.
We do have a lot in common otherwise but, I think that we are in major red flag territory… am I being harsh?
I have had the same stunt pulled on me before. With the same results..

Original poster
VenturingOut80 · 27/09/2023 11:57

Thisisworsethananticpated · 27/09/2023 11:02

Placemarking

I like the lack of a jaunty title too

simple ,bold

no reference to 🍂

Sorry, I haven't made one before. Can we edit the title and make it jaunty??

OP posts:
Original poster
VenturingOut80 · 27/09/2023 11:59

Mollymolloy · 27/09/2023 11:29

Morning all….. advice needed please…
So, date no 4 with Mr C. I went to his last night with the mutual intent on DTD. I had been to his place before but, when I got there, he was really cagey, which I put down to nerves.
After a lovely evening, we went upstairs and the assumption was that we would have unprotected sex. He was sorely mistaken!
He said that he didn’t think that he needed a condom as he had ‘been done’. He also said that he started giving blood a few years ago (I also give blood but, for different reasons) so that he could check that he didn’t have any ‘nasties’. It seemed very odd as his house is absolutely spotless and had a shower before we went to bed. He seemed ultra health conscious.
Being that he was supposedly in an 8 year relationship previously, I can’t see the need to give blood so that he could get ‘checked out’. He has also implied (but, I may be wrong) that he has been unfaithful.
We do have a lot in common otherwise but, I think that we are in major red flag territory… am I being harsh?
I have had the same stunt pulled on me before. With the same results..

Oh that's not good! No way should he have assumed.

OP posts:
NellyTheCake · 27/09/2023 12:11

Mollymolloy They don't check for sti's when you give blood.
Happy to be corrected on this but I've been giving blood for years and always read the booklet.

Even if they did test then arguing about wearing a condom would be a huge red flag for me. Shows a lack of respect and understanding.

Mollymolloy · 27/09/2023 12:14

Thanks @NellyTheCake . I realised that they don’t test for sti’s but, feel that it is a bit late if you give blood and they find you have a serious disease. He did make me feel that I was being irrational by not going ahead.

GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife · 27/09/2023 12:21

@Mollymolloy either condoms or (my preference) proper STD tests, showing each other the results, and whichever it is, NO QUIBBLING ABOUT IT.

None of this ‘oh I thought it would be ok, I thought you wouldn’t mind, the last one didn’t mind’ business.

I guess condoms are better from a financial point of view, plus you don’t know if you’re a good bedroom match etc at first. But, no test = no oral.

Mollymolloy · 27/09/2023 12:25

Thanks @GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife, this is the second time this has happened and I have questioned myself. I grew up in the 80’s when they frightened the bejesus out of you about unprotected sex.
What is it with blokes on OLD??

LuckyLinda3 · 27/09/2023 12:31

Thanks @VenturingOut80 for new thread
Sorry about your date today @NervesOfCotton but loving your style, you go girl! Keep us updated.

Loopylooni · 27/09/2023 12:35

following!

Thisisworsethananticpated · 27/09/2023 12:39

I don’t understand why men are so blasé about STD

maybe it’s because a festering sore on a Willy is less painful than on a vagina ?

anyway you have your boundary and that’s that !

Bowbobobo · 27/09/2023 12:45

Following, still seeing Mr B, I’m getting bored sadly so I feel I need to keep my hand in!

ManAboutTown · 27/09/2023 12:46

Really feel for the ladies who have had a tough time OLD - unfortunately it's the same for us blokes.

There are a lot of women who are just fronts for scams - trying to get pictures from you through Gmail or WhatsApp is a big one - presumably these can be used for things like credit card cloning.

Other women appear to be escorts.

The site I have been on has certainly some genuine women but its hard weeding through the crap

Mollymolloy · 27/09/2023 12:51

Sorry to hear that OLD is tough all round @ManAboutTown. Genuine people seem to be thin on the ground.

GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife · 27/09/2023 12:55

We should all date each other!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In
This thread is not accepting new messages.