Dating Thread 243

[VenturingOut80]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I've just agreed to an impromptu coffee this afternoon with a new iron 😱😁

@Slothmomma Lucky you, Congrats! Whatever happens it will be more fun that Sunday TV.

Back on the apps and seems the pickings are rather slim but I’m no quitter.

Finny thing is that one of first people who popped up was Mr GA and I actually noticed that his profile was rather economical with the truth which did make me wonder if actually the flags were there to begin with.

Got a couple of chats going but at mo seems the same old faces coming up on repeat.

Couple of chats going but no one grabbing me so far.

Quick scan around the site this morning - usual messages from scammers - going to give up on it I think

I've been on tinder about a month now. Paid to see likes and the majority are over 40 miles away.
Some are 1000s of miles away.

In the first week, I had about 20 matches. But only 2 bothered to chat. One was Mr Disappearing, who has disappeared. The other decided, after one date, that he had too many committments to date.

Since that 1st week I've had zero matches, zero chats.
Trying to believe it's them not me, but it's not easy.

Just had an email from POF after briefly reactivating my account saying I’ve been reported for a violation of their rules and my account is suspended whilst an investigation is underway - WTF??

I get that. I find it difficult sometimes to believe it’s not me. I get a lot of matches and a few short chats but very few lead to dates and I start to wonder if I’m doing something wrong.

SamW98
Hope you get your POF account back. They do seem to look at problems & deal with them. I put up a new photo & for some reason that violated the guidelines.

It didn't & I got my account back. Unlike tinder that just bans you forever for no reason.

I've been doing OLD since 2017. I've watched all my friends get lots of dates aind partners. I'm the only one still single.

I try for a month or two & get nowhere, give up for a few months, then try again.
I've even let my friends use my profile to see if they can get some matches /chats for me.
Nothing!
When my tinder subscription runs out then I'm done. I just feel I have the wrong face/personality for OLD.

I think that’s pretty common really, men seem to be targeted a lot by scammers on dating sites

TBH - i think that’s just how it is, everyone thinks they will find mr or mrs perfect with the next swipe

Well today's iron was much better than I expected and I really enjoyed our coffee date which turned into 3 hours! I found him extremely attractive with lovely eyes and he made me laugh loads. He's said he'd love to see me again and I'm definitely up for that so hoping we can get something in diary 😁

Lovely Slothmomma Sounds like a great date!

I heard back from yesterday's date, he asked to meet I said we are looking for different things. He sent this huge message which started with 'Well I'm not technically single'...

Christ. & there was me thinking that he was a lovely guy!!!

NellyTheCake I'm sorry you are finding it so tough. I'm sure you are lovely but I know that's small comfort

Does anybody know if, if you havn't paid for Bumble, can you still chat to your Speed dating matches?

@NervesOfCotton

Yes anyone you match with on the speed dating goes into your normal messages do you can chat as normal.

Thank you SamW I thought so but just wanted to check!
I've paid but reported this guy earlier for insisting that we can't chat after & that it will have to be through FB

@Slothmomma What a lovely update 😊 Waiting to hear what's next.

I'm gonna take the advice and focus on myself. So thank you all, once again. Thankfully I'm quite active in a sport and train about 5 times a week, so that keeps me busy.

A question for you all - cuffing season is around the corner and it seems as if old "flirts" are appearing all of a sudden. I think there are three old flirts (things that just didn't go anywhere about a year ago!), that suddenly let me know that they exist again. How do you deal with that?

Ignore. unless you're looking for NSA winter warmth.

Someone from 3 years ago popped up and wanted to start a netflix and chill convo as if we met last week. I am in a relationship anyways but even if not, I thought cheeky how far have you gone back in your rolodex and how many people have said no, before you come to me?

Slothmomma

ah that’s nice to see
when I read it was so impromptu I had for some reason a vibe it would go well

Thanks all. I had no expectations at all really but had swiped as liked his bio although his pictures were a bit ropey- not in an unattractive way but as in he hasn't got a clue how to take a decent photo kind of way 😄 anyway he was much more attractive in flesh.

I have one concern and that is that I may not be available enough for him as I have young teens and he has a fully grown adult but we will see I guess

Hello I’m new here and new to OLD I’m getting fed up

super weird that he felt the need to send a long message that began with “I’m not single” when it sounds like you were basically letting him down gently and saying you didn’t want a second date. Why couldn’t he say ok thanks and move on 🙄

welcome! What apps have you been on? Any dates yet?

Backagain I so wasn't expecting that!
Strange guy indeed. No idea what the rest of that message said but I pity whoever meets him next!

Honeybu Are you ok? It's sooo tough out there, in the strange world of OLD!

I’m on tinder since June only 4 dates and chats that gets no where 😞

@Slothmomma Glad you enjoyed your afternoon, hope you meet again.
ps, TV was poor. Wish I had gone out for a walk.

@Slothmomma your date sounds promising! Will you see him again soon?
@NervesOfCotton - can't believe the 'I'm not technically single' message. WTF?

A little update from me on Mr Beard. I'm smitten, well and truly. My kids were away with their Dad for a couple of days so we basically spent the entire weekend together. We got takeaway, went to the cinema, went out for a meal, DTD (a lot!), played a board game. Had some deep chats. I have never felt so attracted to someone in my life. He's so considerate and affectionate (two things that have been severely lacking in my life of late). Our weekend dates kind of merged into one, but I guess you could say we're on date 7 I think. He's gone to visit his folks for the night but he said he'll facetime me later.

I'll be honest, I'm terrified of messing this up.