Dating Thread 243

[VenturingOut80]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Mollymolloy - truly is Molly.

I'm just a regular guy who wants to meet a regular girl about my age (late 50s) - I have a wide range of interests everything from sitting in a pub to going to Shakespeare.

The number of likes / winks / fake messages I get beggars belief

When you donate blood they test for Hiv, hepatitis and syphilis. Plenty of other nasties that you could catch from unprotected sex.

For me it's the lack of respect for your boundaries. If one of you wants to use condoms then that's what you do. You don't argue about it.

I don't think me & Mr Disappearing will be having that discussion any time soon. Two dates & we've kept each other at arms length the whole time 😄

Are you going to keep seeing Mr Disappearing, @NellyTheCake ?

You are definitely unique on the OLD scene!! @ManAboutTown It is good to know that there are some decent blokes out there!

Thanks NellyTheCake & LuckyLinda. So our quick walk round the park ended up being 4 hours, 2 hot chocs & a few snogs!

i really like him. He comes across exactly how he does online, which I find is rare. No Red flags, nothing worrying me at all. He put me totally at ease. BUT he is quite handsy & I'm not. Once he'd got over his initial nerves, He kept wanting to pull me in for a hug & a snog & I don't mind a bit of that, tucked away in a corner of the park, but I don't really like to feel like I'm 'On display' having a big PDA!

Also, it turns out that since I've not been near anybody for 6 years, I'm majorly struggling with my body & felt really uncomfortable with his arms around me (touching my fat bits!) & him wanting to look into my eyes when he's holding me (& my fat bits!)

i mean, he was totally respectful, he said that I'm 'Cute' & 'Adorable' & didn't force any of the touching. He was making me giggle a lot when I was feeling self conscious & also said 'What are you gonna do on our wedding day, still not look me in the eye?'

We are on the same wavelength. I'm not sure if the touching is an issue or not, but I'd definitely see him again

Ahhh… sounds very promising @NervesOfCotton! when are you seeing him again?

@Mollymolloy my hackles went up reading that. I dated someone who didn’t have condoms (and suggested the withdrawal method 😫). Guess what, he has a long-term STD.

The cageyness, the implications of being unfaithful, the weird AF reason for giving blood other than being entirely altruistic… yeh I don’t get a good feel from him. If you’re having sex with someone new it’s sensible and polite. Anyone on these dating streets know this.

MollyMolloy Are you going to see yours again? How are you feeling about him now?

I've got a bit of time tomorrow so we are meeting then. He's just asked me if I want to walk around the park again, he's temporarily without a car so hopefully that's just his lack of being able to think of anywhere else we can walk to, rather than him just wanting to walk round the park all the time

Thanks @Birthdayblu and @NervesOfCotton . I was shocked by the reason that he gave for giving blood. I had never even thought of that one. Obviously, he has unprotected sex regularly. I give blood because I genuinely want to help people, as do thousands of other people. Any other reasons for doing it are just wrong!

He txted this morning to see if I got home alright and if everything was ok. I left as soon as possible this morning. He has friends over now so, I will txt or call him tomorrow and just say that I don’t want to see him again. I don’t think that it will be a massive surprise!

See how it goes @NervesOfCotton. He seems very keen. Being without a car is tricky so, give him the benefit of the doubt, for now… good luck for tomorrow 🤞

@NervesOfCotton I came back to see how your date went, that's awesome!

Hi all.

Looks like I am becoming single again, after a 2.5 year relationship.

I can’t bear the thought of starting again, but I have no choice as I am mid-thirties and would like to have a baby one day. Time is not on my side.

Which apps / websites are best?

Ahh… really sorry to hear that @Crushed23. Sending hugs!

I use Bumble. I have used eHarmony. It was expensive and didn’t yield much, if it helps…

Not sure I can handle the inevitable ignored messages that come with Bumble!

Is Hinge any good?

MollyMolloy I think I'd be the same, & the same about giving blood too, I've never heard anybody use 'that' as a reason before!

Crushed I've just had my first date from Bumble but before that it's never been any good for me. I'm on one called 'Free dating' & 'Ok Cupid' but they are much the same tbh.

Thanks VenturingOut & MollyMolloy I don't drive anyway so know all of the 'good' places we can walk, I just suggested some & he said let's just do the park again... Feeling a little deflated but will see how it goes

Mollymolloy

• *I said yes to another date with Mr Disappearing. He has a lot of things that I like about him. Just not sure I really fancy him. I also need to talk to him about his expectations. I'm quite independent & not looking for someone who wants to live together in the future. He's very involved with his grandchildren & I can't see me wanting to be part of that. I like my child free life too much.

NervesOfCotton
I'm glad your date went well. Hope date 2 is good as well

Thanks NellyTheCake I'm glad your 2nd date wasn't too bad. It's awkward when you aren't sure if you fancy them or not isn't it.

Mr Disappearing has decided he's going to disappear. I asked how often he worked weekends and he decided that because he works every weekend, that it wasn't worth us continuing any further.

I'm not too bothered. I just wish he had discussed it with me because weekend working wasn't that much of a deal breaker. I just wanted to know if he ever had time off then.

Aw this is such a great update @nervesofcotton! So happy to read this.

If you are unhappy with the level of PDA put a boundary in. I hope that your level of discomfort with your body improves really soon, and 2nd date goes well (sounds like you could get dizzy!)

Thank you Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse I did text him last night & say all the touching & kissing was a bit much. He said 'I feel awful now, why didn't you say anything at the time?'

Anyway, date 2 today so we will see how it goes

Well, I had date #2 with Mr Beard on Tuesday night. Oh my, it was amazing. We talked for hours, walked to his place..... I feel like I should be ashamed of going back on date 2 but we have been talking for a couple of months so it doesn't feel like we have only just met. Serious sparks fly when he looks at me, I just couldn't resist, lol! Seeing him again at the weekend and I can't wait. Feeling seems to be mutual. He's a total novelty to me. My ex was so secretive and conversation was very superficial and on his terms regarding emotional intimacy. Mr Beard talks, freely - about his family, his job, his friends, how he feels about things. I'm rather smitten so far. Oh, and he's super fit!

Keep us posted @NervesOfCotton - good luck today

@Crushed23 I'm sorry your find yourself here. I didn't have much luck with Hinge. Bumble was ok but not much better. I never tried eHarmony, it seems very expensive. Match is meant to be good but I've not tried it.
I found my current date on Tinder of all places! I had a lot of messages from weirdos and guys just after sex. There are loads of people on there though, so I think the chances of matching are higher.

Good luck @nervesofcotton

Enjoy it!

@venturingout80 great update!

Never feel bad about DTD if it feels right! I'm pretty jealous tbh. I am on Tinder, Bumble and Hinge.
Agree that the pool is bigger on tinder. I don't very often swipe right because there are so many ropey profiles, but I've met the most people from there.
Very exciting for you!!!

Ah thanks @Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse - it's all very exciting!

From Mr C this morning…

Morning. Hope you're ok. I assume I have upset you. I apologise. It was never my intention to do so. If we don't speak again, I wish you all the best. xxx

An easy delete and block.. 🤣🤣

VenturingOut80 That's a great update!