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Original poster

I am going to ask this guy if he's actually sexually attracted to me. Does this sound ok?

376 replies

CandyLollipopw · 15/09/2023 07:47

I've been having sex with this guy for a year now. We've been friends with benefits but I don't know if he's actually sexually attracted to my body type. I see where he follows models on social media. This is why I'd like to ask him if he is sexually attracted to women with my body type. Or if he is only attracted to models and skinny women.

Even if we are only friends with benefits I still think it's important that both people are sexually attracted to each other because it's physical and we see each other naked. And I don't see anything wrong with a woman wanting to know that I man who sees her naked is sexually attracted to her.

I am going to say this to him...

I'd like to talk to you about something but I don't want you to think I'm trying to start drama or that I'm trying to argue. I want clarity about something. (Are you sexually attracted to women who have my type of body? Or are you only attracted to models and skinny women).
^^
Then I'll tell him why I'm asking because I am sexually attracted to him and I enjoy having sex with him. And I want the feelings to be mutual.

OP posts:
QueenBitch666 · 15/09/2023 13:06

Troll alert 🤣
Surely no one is this dense?!

Fairymother · 15/09/2023 14:08

CandyLollipopw · 15/09/2023 07:59

So me asking him if he's actually attracted to me is a problem? I think FWB are supposed to be sexually attracted to each other. Any woman in her right mind would want a man to like her physically if he sees her naked it's common sense.

Edited

If he wasnt sexually attracted to you then he wouldnt have sex with you over such a long period of time.
Just because he follows skinny models, doesnt mean hes not attracted to you! People can be attracted to several body types. I know i am. Ive had tall partners and short, gym freaks and the softer type. I was attracted to all of them 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hont1986 · 15/09/2023 14:16

"I don't want you to think I'm trying to start drama or that I'm trying to argue"

This is when red flags start flying and alarms start going off in a man's mind😂

sportychick101 · 15/09/2023 14:50

This is quite worrying. I've reported this.

Original poster
CandyLollipopw · 15/09/2023 14:53

Was it ever requested that there should be an attraction at the beginning of the FWB? Is this a serious question? I said we matched on a dating app. Do men on dating apps find women attractive?

OP posts:
Original poster
CandyLollipopw · 15/09/2023 14:59

You said there is nothing wrong with being FWB. But then say I've wasted my time. I don't see the issue with being FWB. If I wanted to be in a relationship I would be. He said he doesn't want to date and doesn't have the time. And that he's not on a dating site anymore. I'm still on dating apps and I do talk to other men. So If I want to be in a relationship I'll meet the other guy I've been talking to.

OP posts:
Janieforever · 15/09/2023 15:02

HungryWisdom · 15/09/2023 12:50

You’ve really got your knickers in a twist over this, haven’t you?!

Just bin him off and find someone else to have sex with. Problem solved.

Are you obese?

I think as this has all kicked off in the ops head as he follows “skinny chicks and models” on insta then it’s likely a weight related insecurity and a significant one at that.

op my husband follows miley Cyrus on insta. I doubt it’s solely due to her musical ability. At no point does it occur to me he likes small blondes so can’t find me attractive. I’m a tall brunette. I find it amusing not that I ever really think about it much.

I wonder if part of your insecurity is not just your own negative feelings on your body, but because he doesn’t wish to be in a relationship with you and it’s just sex for him.

fwb is nearly always problematic, because often one person wants more. And clings on offering up the sex in the hope one day it maybe more or they are just happy to get the crumbs and a bit desperate to be with that person or anyone really.

is that what’s happened, seeing who he follows has triggered or confirmed your negative feelings on your own body , and you’ve now decided that’s why he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you?

marymungoNminge · 15/09/2023 15:03

You're talking to other men on dating apps but you've got a bee in your bonnet about who he has on his Instagram!?

Dear Lord 😂😂😂

Janieforever · 15/09/2023 15:03

CandyLollipopw · 15/09/2023 14:59

You said there is nothing wrong with being FWB. But then say I've wasted my time. I don't see the issue with being FWB. If I wanted to be in a relationship I would be. He said he doesn't want to date and doesn't have the time. And that he's not on a dating site anymore. I'm still on dating apps and I do talk to other men. So If I want to be in a relationship I'll meet the other guy I've been talking to.

I think you want to be in a relationship with him.

Original poster
CandyLollipopw · 15/09/2023 15:05

Well, if you had people tell you how you weren't attractive and how no guy would want you then maybe you'd understand. My ex of seven years told me I no one would want me because of how I looked. Growing up my own dad even told me that no man would want me. Because men like picking women up during sex.

So yeah I thought this guy was different because he made it seem like he was attracted to me. But then after seeing his social media I found out I was wrong. a

OP posts:
Original poster
CandyLollipopw · 15/09/2023 15:08

And you would do this for an entire year? Yeah ok.

OP posts:
Screwballs · 15/09/2023 15:08

CandyLollipopw · 15/09/2023 15:05

Well, if you had people tell you how you weren't attractive and how no guy would want you then maybe you'd understand. My ex of seven years told me I no one would want me because of how I looked. Growing up my own dad even told me that no man would want me. Because men like picking women up during sex.

So yeah I thought this guy was different because he made it seem like he was attracted to me. But then after seeing his social media I found out I was wrong. a

So you accept this is 100% your issue. Why dont you work on that and leave the poor bloke the hell alone.

Fullspectrum · 15/09/2023 15:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

marymungoNminge · 15/09/2023 15:15

CandyLollipopw · 15/09/2023 15:05

Well, if you had people tell you how you weren't attractive and how no guy would want you then maybe you'd understand. My ex of seven years told me I no one would want me because of how I looked. Growing up my own dad even told me that no man would want me. Because men like picking women up during sex.

So yeah I thought this guy was different because he made it seem like he was attracted to me. But then after seeing his social media I found out I was wrong. a

You need to change therapists OP and work on this. It's put you into a very irrational could of judgement on this situation. Everyone on here is saying that you are wrong about this but somehow you can't or won't see it.

Original poster
CandyLollipopw · 15/09/2023 15:15

If he's having sex with other women then he's definitely a liar. Because when we first started seeing each other. He told me he doesn't like having more than one sexual partner at a time.

OP posts:
Original poster
CandyLollipopw · 15/09/2023 15:17

Yes, I have had another relationship with my ex who told me no one would want me because of how I looked I mentioned that before.

OP posts:
AliOlis · 15/09/2023 15:18

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

No, and despite reports they're happy to let it run. Shameful.

Original poster
CandyLollipopw · 15/09/2023 15:25

So because a woman is fat that means she's desperate and can't say no? Yeah, I have no problem with attracting men. I decided to have sex with this guy because it legit seemed like he was attracted to me. When he saw my profile I remember him saying something like wow. And even on the first date, he was giving off sexual innuendo It seemed like he was attracted to me.
So having sex with him wasn't out of desperation or because I can't attract men.

I even told him recently I have options so yeah sleeping with him isn't out of desperation it's because I'm actually sexually attracted to him. He's the one who is insecure (he actually said this) and doesn't believe I have orgasms when we have sex.

OP posts:
Oblomov23 · 15/09/2023 15:27

I've reported this thread now.

Original poster
CandyLollipopw · 15/09/2023 15:27

I am trying to work on it I'm trying to be more healthy for myself. Hence the reason why I've started working out and trying to eat more healthily.

OP posts:
Alargeoneplease89 · 15/09/2023 15:29

QueenBitch666 · 15/09/2023 13:06

Troll alert 🤣
Surely no one is this dense?!

I know, right 😂

Original poster
CandyLollipopw · 15/09/2023 15:29

I don't know why people are reporting this thread I'm not trolling this is a real and legit situation.

OP posts:
AliOlis · 15/09/2023 15:30

Oblomov23 · 15/09/2023 15:27

I've reported this thread now.

Already done multiple times and been ignored.

Fullspectrum · 15/09/2023 15:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

AuntieEsther · 15/09/2023 15:34

CandyLollipopw · 15/09/2023 15:17

Yes, I have had another relationship with my ex who told me no one would want me because of how I looked I mentioned that before.

And yet you're offended when people tel you you need to work on your self esteem?

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