I just don’t think life is worth living when you’re single

[GoodDayGood]

Taboo subject, I know.

But I don’t like being single.
Tired of doing everything on my own, tired odäf always going home alone, tired of no one caring about me, tired of making this life alone, tired of listening people in relationships complaining about stupid little stuff, tired of celebrating couples, tired of it all.

What’s the point of anything when at the end if the day I’m alone?

Oh, @Adarajames I’m so sorry you are also feeling this way.

And sorry for a late reply, I just came back now to re-read this thread, having one of the hard days again today.

Staying alive so that my parents don’t have to bury me is something I also live with.
I think that’s an extra thing that makes me so very tired.

I sent you so many good wishes, I know they don’t do much, but thinking of you. 💐

I'm nobody's priority either but I feel differently than many of you.

Yes, you have made than very clear, many times now in fact Zenana.

Has it really not cross your mind that perhaps this isin’t the time and place?

i'm not going to suggest you're wrong to feel that way (my post should reveal just how afraid i am of being alone), but i wonder, do you have any hobbies? any task or practice you find very absorbing/stimulating that makes you feel good about yourself? do you like your work?

That's the kind of thing I'm thinking about but get snapped at for saying it. I'm single with no family at all but I don't feel in the depths of despair like some of the contributors to this thread do. I could be eaten by alsatians as Bridget Jones feared and nobody would know other than work or if for example I'd arranged to meet a friend and didn't turn up.

It's upsetting to read that people value their own lives as not much at all. All feelings are valid but you only have one life. Look at poor Elianne killed in Croydon this week for example and be grateful you have a life to live. I don't care if I get attacked for saying that either

”Attacked”?
Jesus.

Hard to believe you are that upset about this thread/what some of us are going through, since you keep reading it.
And commenting.
Quite upsetting things too.
Please don’t shame and guilt trip people for feeling what they are feeling.
Misogynystic man killed a gurl, yes.
I’m still allowed to feel lonely and the fact is Iam missing out on things, even though I’m alive.
And having to be alive means I’m still very much feeling all this pain.

So again, if your so happy being single, why taunt people who are not.

And this is not ’an attack’, just so that we’re clear.
You are the one doing that.

@GoodDayGood I've not taunted or attacked anyone. If you are unhappy with anything I've said you can report it.

You can't really compare someone being lonely to someone being killed. It's a great way of guilt
tripping the OP though.

I've lost 3 friends in 3 years (two very suddenly and one in horrific circumstances) so I'm grateful for everyday but it doesn't stop me feeling lonely or wanting someone to share my life with.

I always dreamt of having the good husband and a couple of children. I ended up with a shit husband and no children. Being alone is not how I envisioned my life would be. It's something I've never wanted, I need people around me because I get lonely.

Sorry to hear you ended up with a shit husband.

I agree, there’s just no correlation between people being murdered and being lonely. Some people actually kill themselves because of the latter. And it has shown to have negative impacts on health.

Some single people are out there going months without so much as a hug.

Try and be understanding that not everyone is OK with that. I’d go as far to say most people are not OK with that.

Everybody reacts to things differently. After my Dad died suddenly and unexpectedly I just carried on with my life, I didn’t feel sad about it much outside of the initial shock of it and the funeral. I know other people who lose a parent and fall into the depths of despair. We all react to things differently. It is perfectly valid to be single and happy, to never feel lonely about it etc but it is also valid to be single and unhappy and to feel lonely. I do not think being long-term single is a hard life for everybody, I think it is a hard life for me. Being long-term single makes my life feel worthless, but that doesn’t mean I think that anybody who is single is worthless. Is it really that hard to understand that two people could be going through the same things but feel and react differently?

I know I only have one life, and I feel sad that it is not the life I imagined for myself. I don’t know who Elianna was or why she was killed, but about 160,000 strangers to me die worldwide every day, what has that got to do with anything? I didn’t know her, I didn’t live her life, she didn’t live mine and I don’t have to be grateful for everything just because someone else is dead. I don’t have to be grateful for my life because other people die, if I’m going to compare my life to others I could just as easily pick a person who is rich with close friends and family, a loving partner and a brood of children and feel even worse about my life. I’m choosing to value my life based on my own wants and desires, not the situation of anybody else, and for me personally my life feels like it falls short of what I would want to feel happy and fulfilled. I’m not judging anybody else’s life, only my own, and I’m not comparing it to anybody else’s life, only to the life I would have chosen had I had more options.

Thanks, we live and learn. It annoys me when people say it's better being single than in a shit relationship, as I've been there so know full well how much better off I am now. But I've spent from 18 -40 with someone or other. I've been single coming up to 6 years(other than a situationship 2 years ago) and I hate it, I've never been single for this long before and I'm scared I'll never find that someone special.

I feel the OP is getting a rough ride here and it's unfair. There's another thread about someone not having any friends and the posts are so much more supportive.

I only work a few hours a week due to disabilities, but I enjoy it and feel I do the job very well and efficiently, and my line managers are all very happy and complimentary about my work; although I work remotely and so have never met any of them in person.

I volunteer for homeless charities and in search and rescue as well as other ad hoc causes, so my life has worth in that way, and I’m not suicidal or depressed (well ok, I have antidepressants so that is somewhat to do with not being actively depressed at this point in life generally) and would sort of count as absorbing hobbies. I also have craft based hobbies working with glass and ceramics, so my life isn’t empty in that way, although much of the above are singular activities I suppose. I just don’t see life going on for the longer term / entirely alone when my parents are gone

@Adarajames amazing that you volunteer, i've been thinking of doing that.

It annoys me when people say it's better being single than in a shit relationship

Unreasonable. People can say what they believe to be true. It really is better to be alone than with someone who is detrimental to your happiness.

@StopStartStop totally agree!

So just to be clear... feeling completely alone doesn't mean that you don't have a life full of things to do. I have music, art, heaps of friends, yet I am mid 50s alone. I have had many relationships and still had the hobbies and interests I have now, but I also had someone and the same person to hear about them and as again someone has said to do nothing with.

Nobody would really do nothing with someone though would they? You'd sit on the sofa and talk or watch TV or both be reading a book. Is that what's meant?

Yes, rather than going out to the cinema/pub/meal/country walk/Spa day or whatever. You don't usually invite friends round to wat h TV or read a book.

Yep, or literally just being comfortable without doing much at all. I used to think that couples who sat silently or just spoke about the food in a restaurant at dinner had nothing to say, but actually it could also be they are happy being together without saying...