I just don’t think life is worth living when you’re single

[GoodDayGood]

Taboo subject, I know.

But I don’t like being single.
Tired of doing everything on my own, tired odäf always going home alone, tired of no one caring about me, tired of making this life alone, tired of listening people in relationships complaining about stupid little stuff, tired of celebrating couples, tired of it all.

What’s the point of anything when at the end if the day I’m alone?

@BananaSlug Definitely not the most romantic and I'm a bit of a romantic, but when you see rent in London £2000 a month, a partner would help massively. Dear God, It shouldn't come to that, when you're putting economics above the desire to find someone fabulous.

I have a partner now, but I remember when I split with my ex of over a decade, I felt this way. In that time though where I was living alone and feeling naff, I remembered how often I felt lonely when I was literally sitting next to my ex. I remembered that being with someone wouldn’t fix my issues of loneliness. It takes time but you will get to a point where your peace is so valuable to you, it will take a very special person to be allowed in to your life

That’s thing for me is that I’ve spent last few years building a brilliant social circle and really enjoying the company of likeminded friends.

Being single for a few years has given me the opportunity to discover the life I truly want without worrying about pleasing anyone rise.

I, too, feel exceptionally lonely. I’m not depressed, I have a lot going for myself but in all honesty, I don’t feel as though it would mean much to me without anyone by my side. Sad but true.

My marriage ended last year and I’m now living on my own for the first time ever. I love it!
Yes there are times I miss being in a couple, but to be honest I think I’d be content with a great FWB.
You can shape your life into what you want, perhaps just go out and some ‘fun’ and see what happens ..

I have loved being single and I have loved being in a relationship. I have hated being in a relationship, but I have never hated being single. I have felt the loneliest when I was in a relationship. It is all in your mindset, in your capacity to create and maintain, and nurture family ties and friendships, in your ability to enjoy solitude.

Learning to enjoy solitude is a crucial point.

God no, I think being single is far less hassle than a relationship. I’ve got a great social life, I don’t need a man. I dated earlier this year, first time in ages. It was nice but it caused me some upset and so I think I’d rather just stay single. I’m not short of people to go out with or on holding with. Sure sex is nice, but least you’re guaranteed to come with a wand!

I just find that so odd. Perhaps because Im an only child, ive always found being alone...comforting.

I can depend on myself. Other people are variables. I'm happy with small to moderate doses of company. Quite extroverted tbh. But men often prove to be hard work. Rather than someone to lean on I've found they tend to create trouble and strife. So relationship wise...I'd only get into something longterm if he was just right for me and had a great deal of emotional maturity. Something the general population lacks tbh, not just blokes.

I think if you hate being single then all the more reason to do it. Practice being in your own company and enjoying yourself. Other people shouldn't complete us. We have to be complete in ourselves.

@Zanatdy might have a point TBH, but I'm presuming the op is thinking about more than just coming often and sex. A wand will definitely do the trick, and I think there's a real trend now to stay single and casually have FWB'S or failing that, stock up on toys, and who can really argue!

I was widowed a couple of years ago and have gradually got used to being alone.
It's not great though. Sometimes when I've had a bad day, I just need a hug. 😔

Getting to like your own company takes time, specially if you've leaned on somebody else for validation. If ( like me) you still crave the validation, put your little triumphs and cool things that you do on social media. Put a funny spin on things, without making yourself sick with the saccharine-ness. It seems to bounce positivity back.

Everybody gets shitty times when the independent indomitableness drags. Spot where the tough points are ( hello 4am for random catastrophising, 7am for blues) and start to make strategies. Doing all the housework at 6.30am while watching back episodes of Ambulance, in the nude, is weird, but whatever gets you by!

Make yourself go and do stuff! It's bloody hard at first, but the rewards in friendships and social life are immense.

FWBs can be pretty good! You both have to be very honest about what you are though.

Life is a gift. You only get one go at it.

Here endeth the lesson... 😉

I can’t do fwb either I’m just not into casual sex and I reckon the majority of people that are happy single have a fwb so have no idea what it’s like to be totally without any intimacy at all. I’m just not cut out for casual sex though.

You can also get sick and tired of being stuck in a relationship once the novelty has worn off.

Me neither. I did it when I was younger but it doesn’t appeal at all now. It’s love and intimacy I’d like first and foremost.

It does suck BUT the flip side is that it’s far better than being stuck with someone you can’t stand and you’re stuck with them for whatever reason (usually financially, children etc).

I don’t have any family anymore either, and even when I did there was no hugging or touch. I’m so used to not being touched by anyone. It would be nice to be touched in a loving but non-sexual way.

If you're single and none of your friends are you need to make some new friends as well. The friends who move to villages and have babies have to make new friends to find people at their stage in life. You can too.

There is SO much i would be doing now if I wasn't a mum that would be so much fun. I wrote a long list recently on a post called something like what do single people (or maybe it was child free people) do on weekends, it was a mum feeling lost on the weekend her kids were with their dad. There are endless things you could be doing to enjoy your life- see more of the Uk, learn new skills, lift weights and get strong, spent a few weeks in Bali doing yoga, read books, learn to cook new recipes etc . If you prefer to do these things with people rather than alone then find some friends to do it with. And also keep dating too but don't hold your breath and think you can't have any fun till your next boyfriend appears as that could be next year or next decade

I remember feeling this so much during the pandemic (before I had may baby) months and months of not touching anyone at all

Yeah, the pandemic was particularly depressing. Irish family, not that touchy either, so a bit crap, not that family bonds are a substitute, they aren't.

Considering the amount of affairs that happen, and the emotional ones , etc personally I prefer it just to be myself

I’m very happy single and I don’t do casual sex and never had a FWB.

I miss sex but actually very little else. It would take an awful lot for me to give up my own peace

And even if I did meet someone, I never want to cohabitate again.

It sounds like you might be feeling a bit hopeless. What things in life help give you purpose? Investing in a new career, hobby, skill or a new friendship group?
Some great suggestions here, including meet up.

Allow yourself to feel lonely and bad, even frustrated or annoyed that the coupled crew have it easy (they really don't), but don't stay there too long and isolate yourself. Don't let the negative thoughts spiral. Think about what qualities you have to offer potential new friends and partners. You might be denying a group of people the chance to get to know how great you are.

Yes I said the majority not all. I also reckon time single makes a difference I was happy for the first few years.

I feel exactly the same OP. Been single for years and so tired of being told to get hobbies, do things in my own etc....I do and I have but I'm so tired of having no one to share things with. You're not meant to say it but it's miserable and I hate it.