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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband hasn’t come home!

698 replies

Worried00 · 07/09/2023 05:20

My husband went to play darts last night as he does every Wednesday. I’ve woken up at 4.30am and he isn’t home!!!
I’ve tried calling him and WhatsApping him- no answer and no reply. He hasn’t read my messages.
his darts team are his old work mates who I have no contact information for.
im worried sick. What do I do!? Do I call the police? Do I call hospitals !? Help, I feel sick

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
PeopleAreWeird · 07/09/2023 05:22

Has he any form for this kind of thing?

PickledPurplePickle · 07/09/2023 05:22

What time would he normally be home?

Do you have any way of tracing his phone?

BorrowedThyme · 07/09/2023 05:25

what time would you expect him home?

HettySunshine · 07/09/2023 05:27

Does he have work today? Could he be really drunk somewhere? At a friend's place?

NameChangeEmbarressed · 07/09/2023 05:27

Is he home yet OP?

Original poster
Worried00 · 07/09/2023 05:29

he usually comes home about midnight.
no I have no way of tracking his phone.
he drives to darts and doesn’t drink so I’m worried he has had an accident! If he was in the car he would receive my calls via the Bluetooth.

he has done this once or twice maybe but a long time ago when we were younger and that was when he was out drinking on nights out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worried00 · 07/09/2023 05:30

Yes he has work today he should be waking up for work in one hour !
he still isn’t home

OP posts:
isthismylifenow · 07/09/2023 05:30

I'm sorry OP. This is incredibly stressful.

Does he have his location set on his phone?

MsChatterbox · 07/09/2023 05:31

Do you know if he's set up to find my phone by any chance?

BorrowedThyme · 07/09/2023 05:31

do you have children? What do you have to do today?

In your position I wouldn't worry yet, I would try and get some more sleep. What time should he start work? If he isn't home by then can you ring work and see if he is there?

Original poster
Worried00 · 07/09/2023 05:32

isthismylifenow · 07/09/2023 05:30

I'm sorry OP. This is incredibly stressful.

Does he have his location set on his phone?

I have no idea! How do I check this??
I don’t even know if I have my live location set up on my phone….

OP posts:
Original poster
Worried00 · 07/09/2023 05:33

BorrowedThyme · 07/09/2023 05:31

do you have children? What do you have to do today?

In your position I wouldn't worry yet, I would try and get some more sleep. What time should he start work? If he isn't home by then can you ring work and see if he is there?

Yes 2 young children. Today I’ll be getting them up and ready for school, dropping them off to school then going to work myself.

if hubby gets home as he took my bloody car last night as his car has no aircon!

OP posts:
isthismylifenow · 07/09/2023 05:35

Worried00 · 07/09/2023 05:32

I have no idea! How do I check this??
I don’t even know if I have my live location set up on my phone….

Show quote history

I thinking more than likely he hasn't then as it's something you need to set.

Do you have DC that you need to get off to school today? Focus on this and you getting ready for the day. If you still haven't heard from him by the time he should be at work, then I would phone his work place.

WandaWonder · 07/09/2023 05:40

He is a grown up, sure something may have happened but more likely staying somewhere there is being concerned and treating him a like a child just carry on like normal

NCgoingdry · 07/09/2023 05:41

Can you contact the people he was out with last night?

It's not normal to not come home if you're sober and driving and have a family and work to get up for in the morning.

WunWun · 07/09/2023 05:44

If he didn't get drink and is driving I would call the police, personally. I would ask about accidents.

NameChangeEmbarressed · 07/09/2023 05:44

I might be tempted to contact the non emergency police line just to tell them. When he left, where he was going, what he was wearing, car reg number and his mobile no.

How has his mental health been recently? Your relationship?

The not coming home would worry me for so many reasons especially if he doesn't have form for it

BorrowedThyme · 07/09/2023 05:49

I don't think you can reasonably call the police because a grown man is 5 hours late home from socialising- 99% of the time in such a case it will be nothing at all to worry about

Myneighboursarewankers · 07/09/2023 05:49

Hope he comes home soon!!

MuthaBacon · 07/09/2023 05:50

Agree with pp about getting children to school and phoning his workplace. If no joy by then, phone the police on 101. You don't have to wait 24 hours or anything.

Please try not to panic, there's most likely a simple explanation eg he decided to have a drink, got a bit pissed and stayed at a mate's/car broke down/phone not charged etc etc. Of course he should have let you know, but you can deal with that later x

WunWun · 07/09/2023 05:50

You can absolutely call the non emergency police number if a man who doesn't drink, is driving a car add working the next day doesn't come home and you're concerned about car accidents

Debini · 07/09/2023 05:52

I would ring the non emergency line too, I hope he turns up soon OP x

Susieb2023 · 07/09/2023 05:57

I’d definitely phone the police. He wasn’t expected to drink, was driving home and hasn’t arrived. Have no idea why anyone would suggest you leave it. Even ‘grown men’ can have accidents and need help.

Try not to worry too much but do call the police on 101.

Twistyripple · 07/09/2023 06:02

I'd definitely be calling 101.

I understand what others are saying about the grown man 5 hours late side of things but if this is totally out of character I'd be concerned too.

Do you have the contact info of who he went out with? Could you message them and ask if he left to set off home?

C1N1C · 07/09/2023 06:03

How far away was the event?