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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Just slapped my OH around the face before with finishing him

210 replies

lemonbabe · 29/08/2023 21:44

…and now I’m feeling dreadful😥Very long story short … together 7 years, blended family, 2 teenagers each. Years of me trying to instil some form of normality here since he has never educated his kids in any way, shape or form. Every time there’s been a problem with the kids he goes into complete denial and if I persist he just loses it with me. We had an argument yesterday ( I had a go at my 18 year old for leaving a messy sink load of pots, eating his dinner in his newly-decorated bedroom at midnight, and (very probably) smoking in there to boot. OH said I create stress and a bad atmosphere when I have a go at the kids. I said I had to get out, meaning go for a walk to think about more pleasant things … I said to him that it would’ve been nice to have had some parental support from him whilst I ranted for 10 minutes whilst he turned mute. He the lost it completely and started yelling at me in the street as I left to go for a walk. Things got worse tonight because he refuses to talk -lost it again when I tried to mention the state of our relationship. He turned around and said ‘yeah and my daughter went to her mothers yesterday because of you shouting’. That was the red flag to the bull for me I’m afraid. I slapped his face and told him I was done with him. He said ´ok’

OP posts:
GoodNightsSleep · 31/08/2023 09:17

It’s worrying to read that many posters believe that giving a slap to a partner is a justified part of a relationship. Domestic violence is a serious issue in this country and the only way to tackle this is to have zero tolerance to it.

Excusing violence by saying that the perpetrators must have been provoked or had some justification makes some level of violence acceptable. Low levels of violence such as giving a slap are deemed acceptable according to some posters, and if this view remains widespread, we will never fully address the issue, as perpetrators will feel that their actions are acceptable in a relationship.

GilbertMarkham · 31/08/2023 09:35

It’s worrying to read that many posters believe that giving a slap to a partner is a justified part of a relationship.

No-one said that.

FrippEnos · 31/08/2023 11:40

GilbertMarkham

If you think that posters that do not agree with you are "screeching" maybe you should step away from the thread as it seems to be triggering you.

Naominumbers · 31/08/2023 11:45

Hi OP. It is important that you end this relationship. It's completely toxic and has now resulted in you physically assaulting someone. Whatever he said, nothing justifies you hitting him. Split up and then try and work on yourself. You have anger issues and you may need help with these.

Victoriavictoryvince · 31/08/2023 13:08

Op has long gone I think, I would have.

Calling · 31/08/2023 13:19

OP, I think that you have suffered from abuse for a long time, and you need to leave for the sake of the children as well as for yourself.

AbraKedavra · 31/08/2023 14:42

GoodNightsSleep · 31/08/2023 09:17

It’s worrying to read that many posters believe that giving a slap to a partner is a justified part of a relationship. Domestic violence is a serious issue in this country and the only way to tackle this is to have zero tolerance to it.

Excusing violence by saying that the perpetrators must have been provoked or had some justification makes some level of violence acceptable. Low levels of violence such as giving a slap are deemed acceptable according to some posters, and if this view remains widespread, we will never fully address the issue, as perpetrators will feel that their actions are acceptable in a relationship.

I think some posters are failing to understand the distinction between justifying something ahead of time and giving mitigation post facto.

It's never okay to be violent just as it's never okay to verbally abuse. But when someone strikes out in self defence, so to speak, to stop the other party wiping the floor with them, they cannot be condemned in the same way as someone being violent unprovoked.

GilbertMarkham · 31/08/2023 14:47

FrippEnos · 31/08/2023 11:40

GilbertMarkham

If you think that posters that do not agree with you are "screeching" maybe you should step away from the thread as it seems to be triggering you.

Oh do bore off with the passive aggessive orders.

You're beyond clichéd.

You've just hit two clichéd manipulative statements used repeatedly on this forum by ppl lacking originality and imagination, and in one post, congratulations.

SoupDragon · 31/08/2023 15:05

Oh do bore off with the passive aggessive orders.

Somewhat ironic...

FrippEnos · 31/08/2023 17:08

GilbertMarkham · 31/08/2023 14:47

Oh do bore off with the passive aggessive orders.

You're beyond clichéd.

You've just hit two clichéd manipulative statements used repeatedly on this forum by ppl lacking originality and imagination, and in one post, congratulations.

Show quote history

I think that you missed the word maybe.
but if you are happy to continue to put yourself under this stress feel free.

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