Boyfriend asked me to make a decision on our relationship "before Q4"

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Regular on this board but NCed because I don't want this post to be associated with my regular posting history. I am in real need of advice.

I have been dating my boyfriend for 1.5 years. He is 36 and I am 28. We don't live together. We've had our ups and downs, but recently we were getting into a lot of silly arguments and misunderstandings. I felt he wasn't making an effort to understand my point of view, he didn't express his feelings, and didn't prioritize our relationship over other commitments.

This culminated into an argument a few days ago, which for me was the straw that broke the camel's back. I told him that I needed to take some space away from him to think about whether our relationship is sustainable. I thought that a bit of space was going to give us both time to reflect on our feelings. In the moment he agreed to my request.

However, the next day he told me that from October onwards his job was going to be stressful and therefore "he would appreciate if I could let him know what I want to do with our relationship before the beginning of Q4".

I am floored. I feel like he is treating me like an annoying colleague and that this reaction shows that he doesn't love me and he doesn't care whether we stay together or not.

Am I overreacting or is this as bad as I think it is?

Thanks

It’s as bad as you think it is. Leave

What is Q4?

Sorry Q4 means the fourth quarter in corporate lingo, as in the last quarter of the year.

I think it's a fair question

What a twit. He doesn't see you as equal thats for sure.

I kind of get his point. He doesn't want to be kept hanging around

Make the decision already! The person you want him to be isn’t waiting around the corner.

You’re only 18 months in and you’ve already had ups and downs, lots of arguments and misunderstandings and a desire for space. This is not a relationship to fight for. The right relationship will feel a lot easier. This is not the guy for you.

This.

He is just using different language, yes it's clumsy, language to u in my opinion.

Reply that after the latest update concerning his busy life and Q4 you will be terminating the relationship in Q3 and looking for another partner who puts work into his relationship and doesn’t speak business lingo when discussing said relationship.

😂 what a prick. It’s not the question, it’s the ‘Q4’ bullshit. You’re well rid OP, he’s told you how he sees you.

Just for clarity, I am not questioning the timeline per se, I am questioning the cold, business-like attitude he is displaying when talking about our relationship.

He really is an idiot, isn't he?

What is Q4 ?

1.5 years & not getting on.
Sounds like hard work.
It is about what you both would like to do. Time to say what you both want in a relationship and see if you want the same . If you don't want the same then it is time you both agreed to call it a day.

Anyone who uses “Q4” outside of work is a knob

"Before Q4" would put me right off. It's like he sees you as a work project. You can do better OP!

What is he going to do when Q4 arrives if you have failed to clarify?

Perhaps the best approach is to send a memo to say you're seeking a mutually agreed termination of the contract.

I think it sounds like time to move on.

I think you can deliver on this one ahead of schedule.

I can see what he's talking about though - he told you from October onwards is busy, then said please let him know before Q4. He's been pretty upfront which I think is a good thing! You've asked for space which can be very open ended, he's had to put a time on it because he knows from October onwards he won't be able to deal with workplace stress and home stress.

Also to all the posters talking about corporate lingo, I'd bloody love to be able to switch it off but everything is Q this P that 😂 it's hard to turn it off, especially if he's thinking about this in conjunction with a hectic year end coming up!

Regarding the relationship, I think at 18 months it should still be easy, not having ups and downs + breaking up to decide what's right. Sounds like a lot of hard work for something that isn't tip top?

Just split already. It's not working out. You're flogging a dead horse.

Reach out and LTB in Q3 - ahead of schedule.

I'm with this one.
It just sounds like you two aren't really right for each other.

Omg the corporate bollocks would have me dumping him immediately! Reach out, touch base and dump this tedious shit.

Tell him you're submitting your resignation and he can accept a sick note citing "the ick" as a major contributory factor, to cover your notice period. Wanker.