Boyfriend said I need to start behaving before he proposes

[LouLo2121]

My boyfriend has made this comment a few times ‘that I need to start behaving’ before he proposes (we’ve been together 3 years, lived together for 1.5).

for some context, I'm very respectful towards him, I cook clean, doing all the washing and go 50/50 with most things money wise, he also lives in my house.

i do get emotional and sometimes say mean things in the heat of the moment. Me ‘behaving’ means getting less emotional and not calling him out on anything.

do I really need to be with someone that wants me to ‘behave’ in order for him to propose?

sorry hes living in your house and you do the majority and yet YOU need to learn how to behave?? Errr okay then id say get the fuck out of my house

Take him to the front door, open it, apply boot to his arse, close door. Don't do his packing and change the locks.

Then ask yourself why you're even questioning this.

Good grief, I think I'd struggle to stop laughing - the cheek of it.

Eventually I'd catch my breath and tell him to get to fuck.

At least in the old days, these sexist men would bring the money home if nothing else. This modern breed of wants the cooking done, cleaning done, no backchat or emotional labour and wants her bringing home the money and providing him with a roof over his head.

Come on, OP. You can’t seriously think the future looks rosy with this bloke? Chuck him back and find another who has joined us in the 21st century. Or, enjoy your house and your money on your own!!!

🤔

the other thread from the op

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4804657-boyfriends-best-mate

for some context, I'm very respectful towards him

Does that involve scurrying around making his life as pleasant as possible to keep him sweet because you're afraid of what he'll do if you don't, by any chance?

Yea! Same bloke

Tell him he needs to behave
Stop with the Emotional manipulation for a start

I make his life as easy as possible, but I’m not scared of him in anyway

Off he fucks OP. My ex did this kind of control and it got a lot worse.

Eugh!! Get rid!

He sounds like a cock lodger for a start. But he's also trying to train you into accepting all of his shitty behaviour, by dangling a carrot, if you "behave"? Disgusting.

You can do a lot better than him. Being single would also be better.

A good seeing to? What's it mean?

Ask him to leave.

Being completely emotionless about this - your behaviour is not that of someone he wants to marry and commit too, so you aren’t going to work long term. While you are with him neither of you will find someone else you are both better matched too. Best all round for you to split up.

however, I think he wants you to think he is worth “winning” so you are so busy being grateful he’s finally lowered his standards to marry you, you miss sorting a prenup so he doesn’t get a share of your house when you come to your senses and dump him.

Oh and you don't have to be physically scared of him. Thats why he's using the dangling carrot method to control rather then fear. Its very manipulative.

Well this is my first ever ‘leave the bastard’ post! Seriously, leave.

What has happened in your life that you are even considering marrying this vile bully??
You quite literally could lose the roof over your head!
Get him gone!!

Hes treating you like a child and you run around after him like his mum, a decent bloke would pull his weight and treat you with at least basic respect. If you marry him he’s entitled to half of your house as it will automatically be classed as a marriage asset regardless of who’s it was first and you’ll never get rid of him. He’s an absolute cock and you’re too young to be lumbered with a twat like this. Good luck OP.

I'm sure it's been said, but what he really means is stop calling him out on his shit.

She 'needs' (interesting use of the word there) some vigorous sex* from a stud who knows what he's doing (usually the person saying it is a man who preens himself that he's the stud in question) because she's clearly not getting any. That done, she'll be so relaxed she'll stop being uptight or controlling or having opinions or whatever aforesaid 'stud' has decided is the problem with this particular woman.

*Whether or not she actually wants that is immaterial.

Wow @LouLo2121 fairly unanimous there..

You are HALF my age and let me tell you that I have been given the ultimatum of 'either you behave or I leave' comment from my son's dad. this guy made my life a living hell. Your P will do the same to you.

what you are seeing now is a hint of what is to come, he has friends who are utterly vile, he's living in your gifted house and wants to supposedly marry you (so he claims half) but you have to 'behave'?

Fuck that! Make NO mistake, this guy is BAD news and will ruin your life. He needs to leave, you need to dump him and find a good man.

Dont marry him, don't have kids with him, don't even adopt a pet with him, get him out of your house by fair means or foul and don't look back

He doesn’t sounds like the type of man you would want to marry…..

Don't marry or have children with this man. It will be a miserable life.

Are you really so desperate to be with a man that you’re going to let him a)talk to you like a child and b)manipulate you into hanging around for the next 20 years waiting for a conditional proposal?

He has no intention whatsoever of marrying you. He will keep you dangling until you wake up one day and you’ve wasted your entire life on him.

For gods sake, bin him.

What does he do to make your life as easy as possible? What housework, cooking, shopping etc does he do? Does being with him actually enhance your life?

honey, throw that one back.

ew.