Boyfriend said I need to start behaving before he proposes

[LouLo2121]

My boyfriend has made this comment a few times ‘that I need to start behaving’ before he proposes (we’ve been together 3 years, lived together for 1.5).

for some context, I'm very respectful towards him, I cook clean, doing all the washing and go 50/50 with most things money wise, he also lives in my house.

i do get emotional and sometimes say mean things in the heat of the moment. Me ‘behaving’ means getting less emotional and not calling him out on anything.

do I really need to be with someone that wants me to ‘behave’ in order for him to propose?

Op can't end a cohabiting relationship instantly just because we think it's best she does.

Give her two minutes to absorb things, process and make decisions.

It's obvious as well, from the completely unequal ratio of domestic work in her home that she's got things to work out and change on her mentality/perceptions.

She doesn’t intend to though

This is where I’m at, at the moment

I wouldn't like being told that I need to behave. He thinks his behaviour is always acceptable? And who is he to judge what is acceptable behaviour or not? Are you accountable to him?

Sounds like you could be told off for having fun/being a bit silly next if it doesn't sit within his own parameters of acceptability. Tell him to get a pet if he wants to control something.

Not being under the same roof is a very good start. I'd suggest he gets a place of his own so that if you want to negotiate a future relationship you aren't having to do so with him inside your own house. Do take all the warnings about losing your home to him if you were to get married very seriously.

He clearly doesn't respect you, or he wouldn't have made that comment indicating that he's the desirable prize in a doormat competition, and you need physical distance and space.

This twat is taking the absolute piss out of you!

I wouldn't stand for it. People like this do not change.

He's taking you for a ride!

He’s not exactly hiding himself from the OP, and yet she’s gone / going no where

She doesn't need to leave her own home. I've already suggested she change her locks to ensure he can't get in.

Sounds like he wants one of those bloody dreadful 'surrendered wives'.
You just have to decide if you want that life or not. 🤷

I cook clean, doing all the washing and go 50/50 with most things money wise, he also lives in my house.

Why? FFS!

Get rid of him.

Yeah there's def some red pill, Mrs, Andrew Tate shit going on here .... The "Respect" and deference and the man of the house and traditional gender roles vibe.

Funny how these guys are happy to ignore traditional gender roles (though those aren't even accurate for most of history) when it comes to money though.

How are you feeling about things now OP?

When people show you who they really are, believe them.

Hope you’re ok @LouLo2121