Other man

[Confused1096]

Nc for this post.

myself and dp booked a holiday abroad where we were meeting another couple he’s been friends with for 30 years. They are all in their 50’s, I’m late 30’s. I had met other couple twice prior to our trip.

I was really looking forward to this holiday of a lifetime, totally different to anywhere we have visited before. I had a great time but I’m home a week and very confused.

It was evident the other couples marriage was not in a good place. The wife was telling me how she wanted to leave him and that they hadn’t been working for a long time. The husband was flirting with any chance he could.

I spoke to my dp about what was happening wen we were alone. He said the husband hadn’t been happy for a long time and they were no longer having sex. My dp encouraged me to flirt back with the husband give him a bit of an ego boost. I wasn’t feeling it at all, but I feel my dp had given the husband the green light to up his flirting (obv a conversation they had wen they were alone).

This man was relentless, was beside me as often as he could be, staring, discreetly touching my hand, my neck, my legs. Every nite wen dp and I went to bed he would ask if his friend had done or said anything that nite. He seemed to get turned on the more this guy tried it on with me. He asked me to talk to him about wot would happen if the scenario were to arise if the other man and I were to sleep together, like dirty chat. But other nites he would get extremely jealous and ask me to sleep away from him.

I never encouraged the husband or reciprocated any of the flirting/touching, I almost just pretended it wasn’t happening.

I am now home and extremely jet lagged, back to normal life, back to work. Im confused, it’s worse at nite wen I can’t sleep. I find myself looking over our holiday pictures and trying to piece the days/nites together. I have found myself thinking about this other man… he is not someone I would ever look at twice even as a single woman. I don’t know if I’m attracted to him or merely trying to process Wots happened.

please be kind

I’m worried because I think you might be very vulnerable without much support. We are here for you, and do take what support is available to you. It sounds like he has been taking advantage of a power imbalance. But brighter days lie ahead.

Over thinking please. OP stay strong don't give an inch you can do this. Sending a big hug

”overthinking” yeah, typical narcissist gaslighting, and remember: any negative feelings you have it’s ALWAYS your fault.

Overthinking him trying to pimp you out to his mate, making you an unwilling sandwich filler between the two of them and talking about you (and other younger women) like you're trophies and objects ...... Sure..

As others have said, it's gas lighting.

"Never you bother you pretty little head ... You think too much, you're making something out of nothing, you're a drama queen".

I think il unfollow this now , it's all become a bit far fetched and the OP can't spell or is in text language which is odd.

You need to tell him that he needs to spend the weekend with his “husband”, they obviously need some “alone time” and you don’t want to be a “distraction”. Let both of them sort out their “man love” ❤️

Obviously don't go. This sounds potentially dangerous for you op. You could end up being raped.

@Confused1096, please stop ‘trying to explain’ yourself to your abuser who trafficks you to be sexually assaulted for his own benefit. He knows exactly what’s going on. Of course he is manipulating you by accusing you of overthinking. That is his usual M.O. to control and gaslight you. By talking to him, you’re giving him the opportunity to bamboozle you.

Please, please go no contact.

He's a creepy abusive twat 🤮😡

Hi OP where are you now? Did you stay at the hotel longer or find somewhere else to stay? Has he been in contact with u?