My Boyfriend is A Selfish Lover

[Nikky1976]

Hi All im new to this forum but would love advice. I’m a divorcee but been seeing a man for couple years. He’s 16 years older than me - I’m 47 and he’s 63. We don’t live together but I stay over nights at least twice a week when he’s not away working. I find him very handsome and sexy but the sex life has always been an issue and whenever I’ve discussed it he’s got mad at me and will swear and shout. I don’t yell at him or criticise him. Sex only happens when he wants it and he would rather watch porn. I’m not fat and ugly. I’m always up for sex and prepared to be adventurous but he pushes me aside for porn frequently. My even bigger issue is he has not once even tried to pleasure me. It’s all about him and I’m left sexually frustrated and it hurts. He gets nasty and says if I’m unsatisfied then go find a toy boy. I feel like either my wants, desires and feelings are nothing to him or maybe he’s not attracted to me sexually even though he says he is yet gives me no attention in bed.
I don’t know if I’m too sensitive or should leave him because he doesn’t change even after numerous requests

You don't need to be handled !
The sex thing is a problem but i feel that he is mean with money and affection also,to be in a long term relationship and look after no1 1st and foremost like he does says an awful lot about someone ,its quite clear you are not his priority.
He sounds extremely selfish , hopefully his kids may hang around because i can't see many women doing so ,he is going to end up a lonely old man.
Please end it asap and look forward to all the good things that may come your way.

Congrats op, you should bookmark this thread and come back to it if you ever wonder for a second if you made the right decision.

dont waste your time with this ridiculous man OP!

He says he doesn’t need anyone in his life. I guess he’s happy for his hand and internet hook ups

Freedom.

Fantastic Nikky1976! You deserve to be free of this man. I would suggest doing The Freedom Programme online to look for early red flags. I too spent years waiting for the ‘nice man’ I love in with to come back. He never existed..turns out he love bombed me. I won’t make that mistake again.

There’s a lid for every pot. If I’m so hard to manage, there’ll be someone out there will want to and be able to handle me referring to this..my ex used to imply this about me all the time. I was lucky he looked after me and he helped me. I only realised after he‘d moved out that he actually made me worse. Treading on eggshells, meeting his demands all made me super anxious. Now I’ve met a lovely fella who makes me so happy. I’m not so anxious, he supports me rather than setting me off. It’s quite amazing how different it is.

Thank you. I do believe if we are with the wrong person they can trigger us and hone in on our insecurities. With him, he is very impatient and shouts at me easily about small things. Even with communication if he asks a question and I don’t answer correctly as maybe I’ve misunderstood the question, he will roar at me ‘that’s not what I f*ing asked you’
So you end up being on edge all the time because they can change moods in a split second. I will look at that freedom program thank you

The phrase over egging the pudding comes to mind here.

Nothing is an exaggeration in this