38F and finding it difficult to get laid

[NeonSoda]

So here's the thing.

I'm a reasonably decent person (I try my best). I have a good and secure job in a field I'm extremely passionate about (it's charitable work). I own my own house. Have a decent education (I'm working on a PhD). I look after myself and my body. I have a smattering of interesting hobbies.

I'm not the greatest looking, but I'm not bad looking, and I never struggled to get laid when I was in my late twenties, nor when I was in an open relationship which I ended last year.

I have absolutely no problems making and maintaining meaningful friendships. I get on well with my coworkers and other acquaintances in my network.
I also go on fairly regular dates. At least a couple a month, mostly from online dating apps.

But I cannot seem to turn any dates or online chats into actual sex.

Ideally, I'm looking for ongoing hookups or a casual relationship with someone my age who lives nearish.

I'm genuinely starting to wonder if guys can sense that I'm perimenopausal. 😂

Where would you start trying to fix the problem if you were me?

That's odd. There are millions of guys online looking for hookup and will happily take anyone on board. Have you put on your profile and heading that you're looking for hookup? You should make it clear with a neon sign or something because I can't imagine why you wouldn't get messages at least for you to sift through who you want.

Good luck and stay safe.

Totally misunderstood, thought this was your bra size!

I mean, I don't want to have an ongoing relationshipish-type-thing with just any guy that slides into my DMs.

That would be 32F and I had no problems at 32. ;-)

I'm another one who thought it was your bra size. (bragging)

Me too!

Me too!! I kept reading, wondering when OP was going to explain why her boobs were the problem.

Me too

It’s not your age or being perimenopausal. I’ve had no trouble getting sex since I came on the market again at 46, and that was years ago and I still don’t have a problem.

Could it be that more men around your age are settling down now and so there are less to choose from? I know you said its only been a problem in the last year or so...only thing I can think of though!
Either way, I hope things pick up for you 😀

I mean the peri thing was a joke. ;-)

What do you think means you have success?

I used to feel like that was something that seriously narrowed my options, but I think at nearly 40 there are actually a lot of newly single men and women looking to date.

I've been out with a decent amount of people who have children on dates.

I also thought it was your bra size 😂

Yep, also thought bra size.

I also thought bra size! Perhaps ask MNHQ to amend your thread title???

So did I! 😳

haha, same here>.....

Maybe harder because men around your age are looking at single women around 30 and you aren’t interested in men around 50 with children, or they think you wouldn’t be?

Yeah that's potentially an issue. I do prefer younger men myself, but I'm realistic so looking for people around my own age. I tend to date up to around 45 or so.

Another here who was puzzled why large norks were a dating hazard. 😂 As you were…..

Yeah right.

Yeah right what?

That makes me feel weirdly better! Usually when I tell people they just don't believe me because 'it's easy for women to get sex, there are loads of men on the internet who want it.'

Why don't you try asking one of your male friends or colleagues for sex? I'm sure they'd be happy to oblige.

Not sure the wives of the ones I fancy would be happy about that. 😅